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"Thank You Very Much!" (For the Cookies)
By Dave Sikula
Fri, December 3, 2010, 12:01 am PST

Cookie Monster puppet
Quite possibly the biggest fan
of National Cookie Day
(Photo by Peter Taylor)
The next few days will take on a musical flavor. On Monday, jazz pianist Dave Brubeck turns 90, an event which will be celebrated with a new Clint Eastwood-produced documentary that will premiere on TCM. Brubeck (with saxophonist Paul Desmond) pioneered the cool West Coast jazz of the 1950s with such tunes as "Take Five" and "Blue Rondo à la Turk." He still tours regularly and his playing is as strong as ever. In 2009, he was awarded a Kennedy Center Honor, and this Sunday, the latest batch of those awards will be given to country singer Merle Haggard, Broadway composer Jerry Herman, choreographer Bill T. Jones, rock legend Paul McCartney, and the one and only Oprah Winfrey.

Someone who probably should have received a Kennedy Center Honor, but didn't, was lyricist Ira Gershwin, born December 6, 1896. Ira was the brother of composer George Gershwin, and together they wrote scores of classic tunes (a bare-bones list of which would include "I Got Rhythm" "The Man I Love," "They Can't Take That Away From Me," and "Someone to Watch Over Me") that have become enshrined in the Great American Songbook. The first lyricist to win a Pulitzer Prize (for 1931's "Of Thee I Sing"), he died in 1983.

Friday will mark the 42nd anniversary of Elvis Presley's "'68 Comeback Special." "The King" had been domesticated by his Hollywood career, turning out one bland movie after another, but this TV special brought back the "dangerous" Elvis of the 1950s -- in black leather! -- and led to the Las Vegas appearances and concert tours that continued until his death.

Some historical events of note on Sunday. In 1848, President James K. Polk triggered the Gold Rush of '49 by confirming that gold had been discovered in California, and in 1945, the so-called "Lost Squadron" disappeared when five U.S. Navy Avenger bombers carrying 14 flyers began a training mission from the Ft. Lauderdale Naval Air Station, from which they never returned. Perhaps they were swallowed by the Bermuda Triangle, or perhaps they were just practicing their stealthy ninja training. Given that Sunday is also the Day of the Ninja, we think that one explanation is as likely as the other.

Saturday will bring some birthdays in the world of entertainment. Not only will it be the 49th birthdays of actresses Daryl Hannah and Julianne Moore, it will also be the 80th birthday of legendary French filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard. Godard was at the center of the French "New Wave" that took cinema by storm in the 1950s. Its gritty, in-your-face techniques have influenced directors as diverse as Quentin Tarantino, Martin Scorsese, Robert Altman, Steven Soderbergh, Brian De Palma, and Oliver Stone. Like Brubeck, Godard is still working. His latest movie, "Film Socialisme" was released in France in May, and another film (about the Holocaust) is rumored to be on the way.

A filmmaker who couldn't have been more different from Godard was Walt Disney, whose 109th birthday falls on Sunday. Given the distance between Godard's Marxism and Disney's conservatism, one can only wonder what the two of them thought of each other. Perhaps the brainiacs at the Encyclopedia Britannica could tell us, since Sunday is also the 242nd anniversary of the first publication of that know-it-all compendium.

Four holidays to finish out the old week and begin the new. Friday is the International Day of Persons with Disabilities, this year dedicated to "mainstreaming disability in the Millennium."

Sunday is International Volunteer Day, which recognizes volunteers for their efforts and increases public awareness of their contribution to society.

Monday begins Handwashing Awareness Week, something that's always a good idea, (especially after using the bathroom). Handwashing helps prevent the spread of disease, and if you're celebrating National Cookie Day Saturday, you won't get dirt all over your delicious cookies.

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Goodnight, Nessie
By Dave Sikula
Fri, November 12, 2010, 12:01 am PST

The Loch Ness Monster
Goodnight to the creature
who swims in the lake.
Goodnight to the killjoys
who think she's a fake.
Thursday, we noted the anniversary of Route 66, and until the federal government decommissioned it, the various highway departments in the states through which the road ran kept it in good shape. Not every such department is as fastidious, though. For example, there's the Oregon Highway Division, which on November 12, 1970, decided that the best way to destroy a rotting sperm whale that had beached itself before dying was to blow it up, an incident which led to one the greatest memes in Internet history: "the exploding whale."

While the whale parts made for a gloppy, smelly mess, the resulting patterns might well have resembled a masterpiece by Sunday's birthday boy, Claude Monet. Born in 1840, Monet was part of the revolutionary school of painting (taking its name - "Impressionism" – from of one of Monet's pictures) that was notable for depicting the effects of light on objects and places and making unique personal statements through their canvases.

Friday must be a day for creatures. In 1933, Hugh Gray took the first known photos of the Loch Ness Monster in Scotland. While some deny the existence of "Nessie," we are convinced she is alive and well.

Not so benign a creature was Joseph McCarthy, the senator who took paranoia, ignorance, and character assassination to new heights. Sunday would have marked his 102nd birthday. McCarthy was, by all accounts, an unpleasant man, and through his unceasing attempts to smear anyone who opposed him as a Communist, he managed to give his name to both an era and a political tactic. Censured by the Senate in 1954 for his actions, he eventually drank himself to death in 1957.

Almost as unpleasant as Sen. McCarthy is Yanni, the New Age musician whose calming tunes are as soporific as the situation comedies of Sherwood Schwartz. Both men celebrate their birthdays on Sunday, so perhaps Mr. Schwartz (responsible for such sitcoms as The Brady Bunch" and "Gilligan's Island") and Mr. Hrysomallis (Yanni's real name) will spend the night before their 94th and 56th birthdays, respectively, watching something more energetic, like UFC 122. (The idea of Yanni screaming himself hoarse over wrestlers is pretty delicious.)

Of course, it's possible that the men might celebrate with a trip, though we wouldn't suggest one as energetic as that begun on November 14, 1889, when pioneering female journalist Nellie Bly (aka Elizabeth Cochrane) began her successful attempt to travel around the world in fewer than 80 days, in emulation of Jules Verne's Phileas Fogg. Nellie completed the trip in a mere 72 days. An appropriate feat this week especially, as National Geography Awareness Week begins on Sunday.

Newspapers around the world covered Nellie's trip, but the BBC couldn't have - because it didn't exist. The venerable network begin its radio service in 1922, some 33 years after her voyage. They've made up for it in the decades since with continuous news and entertainment.

One of the stories we're sure they covered was the marriage of actress Carmen Electra and basketball player Dennis Rodman, wed in Las Vegas (where else?) in 1998. Unfortunately, the happy couple couldn't make a go of it, and they were divorced four-and-a-half months later.

Something else that couldn't last (in spite of surviving about 500 years) was the Inca Empire, which saw the beginning of its end in 1533, when Francisco Pizarro's Spanish conquistadors arrived in Cajamarca, Peru, to show the natives who the new bosses were - a feat not unlike that performed by single women upon single men on Sadie Hawkins Day, which debuted in Al Capp's comic strip, "Li'l Abner" in 1937. Sadie Hawkins was the "homeliest gal" in Abner's hometown of Dogpatch. When she turned 35, her father declared that there would be a race with all the town's unmarried men being pursued by its unamrried women. Any bachelor who was caught was doomed to matrimony.

We end the week by noting that Saturday is World Kindness Day, and noting the 1952 death of a woman who must have been one of the kindest people ever: Margaret Wise Brown. Brown was a writer of children's books, who, in collaboration with such artists as Clement Hurd, turned out such classics as "Goodnight, Moon" and "The Runaway Bunny," which have calmed and enriched the bedtimes of millions of children.

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Directory categories: Whales, Master Painters, New Age Music, Geography, Chiildren's Literature
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Turn Out the Lights, the Party's Over
By Dave Sikula
Tue, November 9, 2010, 12:01 am PST

Hedy Lamarr
"That's "Hedy," not "Hedley!"
Tuesday:

As mysterious as Dorothy Kilgallen's death on November 8, 1965, is the 1965 blackout that overtook much of the Northeast United States and Ontario, Canada on this day. While the official cause was a series of mistakes and blown relays, there were also reports of UFOs near some of the power stations. We don't necessarily believe the reports; we're just saying ... Not all of the Northeast was affected, however, and a full moon that night kept things surprisingly safe, with New York City reporting only five instances of looting.

When one speaks of New York, it's difficult to not think of Stanford White (whose 157th birthday falls on this day). White's distinctive architectural fingerprints can still be found all over Manhattan more than a century after his death. Such structures as the Municipal Building, the Washington Square Arch, and the Metropolitan Museum of Art – not to mention many of the millionaires' mansions on Fifth Avenue - were his designs.

While White's firm designed things to be built, it's a demolished object that we take special notice of today, as it's the 21st anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. The wall itself was the literal dividing line between East and West Berlin, constructed to keep East Germans from escaping the Communist regime. When that government fell, so did the wall.

Something that irriatated those killjoy East German officials was rock music, and on this day in 1967, the first issue of "Rolling Stone" was published. While "Rolling Stone" was originally dedicated to rock, pop, and blues music and musicians – and those are still its primary focus – it's expanded in the decades since to become one of America's most respected magazines, known for its reporting on politics and entertainment.

Speaking of respect, we throw a little of it to the creative community today as it's Inventor's Day, celebrated today because it's the birthday of actress Hedy Lamarr. Lamarr was not only one of the most glamorous and beautiful actresses of the 1930s and '40s, but was also something of a scientific genius. In 1942, she was granted a patent for a communication system that would "hop" frequencies in order to make radio-guided torpedoes harder to detect. While the technology went basically unused until the '60s, today it forms the basis for wi-fi networks and cell phones.

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World's Largest Drag Queen Goes Over Falls with Pumpkin Pie
By Dave Sikula
Mon, October 18, 2010, 12:01 am PDT

Matisse's
Upside down? Right-side up?
Beats the hell out of us
It's quiet this week. As we look over our files, we see little of consequence. We assume folks are still getting into an autumnal mood, but we persevere and submit herewith our own events and commemorations of the week.

Monday:

We begin the week by noting it's a big one for Thomas Edison. On this date in 1878, his company made electricity available for household usage. In 1931, on this day, he died, and Thursday marks the 131st anniversary of the demonstration of his first light bulb at his laboratory in Menlo Park, New Jersey, now known as "Edison."

It's a notable week for other inventions, too. For example, in 1954, Texas Instruments introduced the transistor radio. Up until the '50s, radios were big bulky things, full of vacuum tubes and wires. With the invention of the transistor in 1947, it was suddenly possible to make radios, televisions, and pretty much anything electronic small and portable. The transistor radio came along just in time for post-war teenagers to carry rock and roll music anywhere, driving their parents and other adults crazy. And Friday will mark the anniversary of the creation of the first Xerox image in 1938. Before then, people actually had to write or type things on a sheet of paper to duplicate them. Now, plagiarism is only the push of a button away.

Speaking of "crazy," "The Talk" debuts on CBS today, featuring Sara Gilbert, Sharon Osbourne, Leah Remini, Julie Chen, Holly Robinson Peete, and Marissa Jaret Winokur in a show that's absolutely nothing like "The View." (We mention that it's also World Menopause Day - completely in passing ...)

While we've mentioned science, let's not forget art. In 1896, the world's first comic strip, "The Yellow Kid," debuted. It wasn't so much a "strip" as a daily cartoon featuring something outlandish in society that the otherwise-mute Kid would comment on with writing on his nighshirt. What he would have had to say about Henri Matisse's "Le Bateau," we can only imagine. It went on display at New York's Museum of Modern Art on this day in 1961 - and it wasn’t until 116, 000 viewers and 47 days had passed that someone noticed that the painting had been hanging upside down.

We finish by noting it's Alaska Day, commemorating the transfer of Alaska from Russia to the United States in 1867. (No jokes about seeing Russia from your house, please ...)

Tuesday:

Only two events of note today. One is the 1745 death of Jonathan Swift, the cleric, novelist, and satirist who gave us "Gulliver's Travels" (whence originated our corporate name) and "A Modest Proposal." One is tempted to hope he was eaten by cannibals, but, alas, he met his end via a stroke.

In 1945, Harris Glen Milstead was born in Baltimore. Glenn led an ordinary life until he met aspiring filmmaker John Waters, who cast him as "The Smoking Nun" in his film "Roman Candles," renaming him "Divine," the name he used the rest of his life. Divine was described by "People" magazine as the "Drag Queen of the Century" (though was there that much competition?) and spent the rest of his career going from one outlandish role to another in Waters' films before his untimely death at the age of 42.

Wednesday:

We have three seasonal events today that are absolutely appropriately for this time of year. In 1967, Roger Patterson and Robert Gimlin, took out their home-movie camera, photographed a guy in a gorilla suit, and claimed they’d filmed a Bigfoot. The veracity of the footage has been the subject of debate ever since, though we're prepared to say it's a fake.

In the otherwise-sleepy hamlet of Circleville, Ohio, the annual Circleville Pumpkin Show will begin its four-day run today. Since 1903, the festival has presented thousands of these flavorful squashes to an adoring public who come for the sculpting, bands, and beauty contests, but who stay for the World’s Largest Pumpkin Pie, baked fresh every year by Lindsey’s Bake Shop.

In 1882, Bela Blasko was born in Lugos, Romania. At 12, the stage-struck Bela dropped out of school, became an actor, and changed his last name to Lugosi. As Bela Lugosi, he was a matinee idol in his own country, before coming to America in 1921. He worked as a laborer and occasional actor until 1927, when his continental good looks and accent made him a natural for the title role in the Broadway production of “Dracula." While the play was a smash hit, and led to a Hollywood contract, his accent baffled casting directors, who could see him only as a romantic vampire, and he was soon type-cast in horror films. Despite some occasional “straight” roles (most notably in 1938’s "Ninotchka," his career quickly headed to not-very-good parts in B-pictures, usually parodying his image. He always gave his utmost, even when the material was sub-par, as in his final films with Ed Wood, Hollywood’s worst director. He died of a heart attack in 1956.

Thursday:

More unrelated (but still interesting) events for the day:

In 1849, the first tattooed man to be put on public exhibit, James F. O’Connel, was put on display at the Franklin Theatre in New York City. Not sure what more can be added to that.

Except perhaps noting that today is Reptile Awareness Day, so we encourage you to go out and be aware of some reptiles -- perhaps while enjoying a big plate of nachos, since it’s also the International Day of the Nacho.

Friday:

When we compile these lists, we’re overwhelmed with celebrations of "National This Day" and "International That Week," so imagine our surprise and disappointment when we discovered that one of our sources lists October 22 with this note: “There are no holiday events on record for this day,” Is it possible that only one day out of 365 is bereft of some kind of celebration? It may be true, though (alas!), as the only other events of note we could find are the 107th birthday of Stooge Jerome "Curly" Howard, and the fact that it’s International Stuttering Awareness Day.

Curly is probably the most popular of all the Stooges, combining a unique physical and vocal style into a characterization that was breathtakingly bold in the 1930s and has been a boon to adolescent boys (of all ages) in the decades since.

Saturday:

Looking for something fun to do today? We have three suggestions.

1) Celebrate the 80th anniversary of the world’s first miniature golf tournament in Chattanooga, Tennessee. The tournament was won by J.K. Scott, though the record neglects to state whether he was better shooting through the windmill or the castle.

2) If you’re near Oklahoma City, you might join the Ghouls Gone Wild celebration headlined by The Flaming Lips and participate in their annual March of 1000 Flaming Skeletons. Be warned, though, you’ve got to handle a live torch - and those costumes can be flammable.

3) You can celebrate Mole Day. The “Mole” is a method of counting the Avogadro number - 6.02 x 10 to the 23rd power of anything. Amodeo Avogadro discovered that the number of molecules in a mole is the same for all substances, which allows chemists are able to precisely measure quantities of chemicals in the lab. Mole Day is intended to help everyone become enthusiastic about chemistry. If you understood a word of that, the first two events may be too strenuous for you, so our advice is to stick with the chemistry.

Sunday:

To finish off the week, we’ll note the near-irony of it being the Feast of Good & Plenty, because yes, we had a number of good events this week, but not plenty of them.

It’s also World Origami Day, which somehow runs through November 11 (must be that those origami artists are able to fold time and space, as well as paper).

Speaking of folding, we also have to mention that, on this day in 1901, Annie Edson Taylor became the first person to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel. How she didn’t end up folded herself is one of the miracles of the age - especially considering she did it to celebrate her 63rd birthday. She’d sent her cat over the falls in her specially-padded barrel the day before, and when the feline emerged unscathed, she figured it was safe enough for her. Mrs. Taylor suffered a cut on her head, but was otherwise unharmed, though she did tell the press, "If it was with my dying breath, I would caution anyone against attempting the feat. I would sooner walk up to the mouth of a cannon, knowing it was going to blow me to pieces than make another trip over the Falls."

If all the above sounds like a lot of baloney, we merely note the appropriateness of today being National Bologna Day, and leave you make up your own mind.

See you next time!

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We Cannot Tell a Lie; It's the Best Spark Ever
By Dave Sikula
Mon, October 11, 2010, 12:01 am PDT

Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie as Jeeves and Bertie Wooster
"I say, Jeeves; this 'Spark' thing is a bit of
a rum go, isn't it?" "Actually, sir, I believe
it's a rather useful compendium of Internet
links." "Nonsense, Jeeves; there's nothing
useful on the Internet."
Now that it's officially autumn (in the Northern Hemisphere, anyway), events seem to be calming down as we prepare for the long winter hibernation. But don't think for a minute that nothing's going on. For example:

Monday:

In 1759, Mason Weems was born. Although he studied theology and became a parson in the Episcopal Church, we remember him best for his 1800 "History of the Life and Death, Virtues and Exploits of General George Washington." The book was less a biography than a collection of exaggerations and falsehoods -- most notably the story of six-year-old George cutting down one of his father's cherry trees,then confessing to the crime. The book was popular in its time, but has been debunked in the centuries since.

It's a day to celebrate politicians, such as the 126th birthday of Eleanor Roosevelt. Mrs. Roosevelt was the wife of Franklin D. Roosevelt, and the first lady of the land for some 12 years, During her time in the White House, she fought tirelessly for liberal causes and human rights, continuing her work after her husband's death, as both a United States delegate to the United Nations, and as chair of the U.N. Commission on Human Rights. Not that she couldn't have fun, or take time out to appear on quiz shows or to hawk margarine on television.

And it's the 35th wedding anniversary of Bill and Hillary Rodham Clinton. (Hint to Bill: the 35th is the coral or jade anniversary). Little did the Clintons know that their wedding night would coincide with the premiere of "Saturday Night Live," a program that would, in the decades to come, poke endless fun at both of them.

Remember last week when we were all aquiver over the Nobel Prizes being announced? Well, the festivities conclude today with the announcement of the winner of the Prize for Economics. Economics being an inexact science, this is the only one of the prizes not founded by Alfred Nobel, having been established by the Bank of Sweden in 1969.

What better way to celebrate winning a Nobel than by having a huge Thanksgiving feast? Think it's too early for Thanksgiving? Not if you're in Canada, where today is Turkey Day, thanks to their earlier harvests. And leftover turkey makes a great sandwich, perfect for National School Lunch Week, which begins today.

Finally, and more seriously, in light of the recent "It Gets Better" project, we note that today is National Coming Out Day, on which we celebrate our lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered friends and family members and their fight for equality. Sadly, tomorrow is the 12th anniversary the death of Matthew Shepard, who was tortured to death solely for being gay.

Tuesday:

Not so interested in equality was the Roman emperor Nero, who ascended to the throne on this day in 54. While Nero was, by all accounts, a tyrant and a dictator, he is likely best known for the apocryphal scenes of him fiddling or playing the lyre while Rome burned in a fire that destroyed a good portion of the city – a tale that's as false as the one about Washington and the cherry tree -- or the myths that Paul McCartney suffered a premature death.

The "Paul is Dead" craze began when a group of Drake University students uncovered a series of "clues" they thought had been planted by the Beatles to indicate McCartney had died. On this day in 1969, they persuaded WKNR DJ Russ Gibb to play "Revolution #9" backward in order to reveal its supposedly masked message of "Turn me on, dead man."

Some notable TV anniversaries today. Most important to us is the 1950 premiere of "The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show." While Burns and Allen were one of the top acts in vaudeville, movies, and radio, their television show was their most important contribution to show business. Decades ahead of its time, the show featured such innovations as George talking directly to the audience about the plot of the episode (which he generally found out about by watching the program -- as it was taking place -- on the television in his den, and replacing actors in mid-scene with other actors playing the same part. All of it was highlighted by Gracie's unique form of humor, which combined a lovable dimness with an inability to see beyond the literal meanings of words.

In 1953, "The Bob Hope Show" began its 20-year run on NBC, as America's favorite comedian traded quips and appeared in skits with the country’s top movie stars, athletes, and personalities.

1978 saw the premiere of "Sneak Previews," the first national iteration of the many shows featuring film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert battling each other over which movies were any good. Those that were were awarded the coveted "two thumbs up" rating. Those that weren’t were usually greeted by Aroma the Educated Skunk or Spot the Wonder Dog, who highlighted the "stinker" or "dog" of the week.

We can assume that such a dismal fate would not await either the nominees for the Man Booker Prize, awarded each year to the best English-language novel written by a citizen of the British Commonwealth (the winner of which will be announced today), or those hoping for a National Book Award, the finalists for which will be announced tomorrow.

Those who are afraid they won’t get either a nomination or an award can take comfort in knowing that tomorrow is National Face Your Fears Day. Buck up and wait till next year!

You’d think a holiday would be anything but controversial, but today is Columbus Day (even if the banks were closed yesterday), and the "discoverer of America" is anything but universally hailed, especially by Native American groups.

Wednesday:

Only three events of note today, but none of them are without interest.

First of all, today is the 235th anniversary of the founding of the United States Navy.

It's also National Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day, in the hopes that having a stuffed friend nearby will relieve some of your workplace stress.

And speaking of stress, it was four years ago today that the Six Flags theme park in Gurnee, Illinois held a live cockroach eating contest. If only they'd waiting until the 14th, they could have made the competition part of National Chocolate Covered Insect Day or even National Dessert Day. Yum!

Thursday:

We mentioned that last week was the anniversary of the start of the carving of Mount Rushmore, and we have to wonder, given today's anniversary, whether Theodore Roosevelt could have done all the sculpting by himself, using only his bare hands. Why? On this date in 1912, while campaigning in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Roosevelt was shot at point blank range. Fortunately, a metal glasses case and the speech he was supposed to deliver was folded in his breast pocket and took most of the impact. Even with a fresh flesh wound and the bullet still in him, TR still delivered the speech. They don't make 'em like that anymore.

Speaking of unique individuals, today is the birthday of actress Lillian Gish. Born in 1893, Miss Gish began her film career in 1912, working with pioneering director D.W. Griffith, and kept working until 1987’s "The Whales of August." Her career spanned virtually the entire history of cinema. While it might seem impossible that one woman could have been in both 1915’s "The Birth of a Nation" and an episode of "The Love Boat" 65 years later, Miss Gish did it!

Miss Gish even did live TV (there was no other kind in the 1950s, after all), and NBC's "30 Rock" will revive that artform tonight, with a special live episode from Rockefeller Center’s Studio 8H, normally the home of "Saturday Night Live."

As unique as Theodore Roosevelt, Lillian Gish, and live television is "Winnie-the-Pooh," the children’s classic by A.A. Milne, first published on this day in 1926.

Friday:

Speaking of characters, we note quite a few of them today. For example, Grace Bedell,  the eleven-year-old girl who wrote Abraham Lincoln on this date in 1860, suggesting that he grow a beard because "all the ladies like whiskers and they would tease their husbands to vote for you and then you would be President." Whether or not Lincoln took the advice seriously, he did start growing a beard within a month and was indeed elected.

Then there's P.G. Wodehouse, born in 1881. Wodehouse wrote some of the funniest novels ever penned (many of which featured the hopelessly dim Bertie Wooster and his invaluable valet, Jeeves) and was also a talented songwriter, who worked with composer Jerome Kern to, more or less, create the American musical.

And let us not forget Jack the Ripper (there's a transition!), who in 1888, sent his letter "From Hell" to the police investigating his murders.

Speaking of death, superspy Mata Hari met hers on this day in 1917. Even though she had lured many a man to his doom during World War I, she met her own end before a firing squad.

Of course, the entire world nearly met its end in 1962, as the Cuban Missile Crisis began. The Soviet Union had deployed nuclear missiles in Cuba, only 90 miles from the Florida coast, and the whole world held its breath as U.S. President John F. Kennedy and Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev went toe-to-toe, daring each other to blink first. Khrushchev ultimately conceded, removing the missiles after two weeks.

But it's not all gloom and doom today (even if today is National Grouch Day and tomorrow is National Boss Day -- are they inseparable?). It’s the anniversary of the 1951 premiere of "I Love Lucy," the sitcom that soon became the nation's favorite program and has aired continually ever since, thanks in large part to star and producer Desi Arnaz. In the early days of television, comedies were either aired live and lost forever, or syndicated using a kinescope (that is, by placing a camera in front of a monitor and filming the live broadcast). Arnaz had the idea of filming the show with three cameras before a live audience, treating the whole thing as a small movie -- a technique used to this day.

Of today’s last two events, one is unnecessary and the other is most necessary. The unnecessary one is Global Handwashing Day, which has the goal of encouraging everyone to wash their hands using soap and water to prevent the spread of disease. We know all our readers wash their hands -- especially after using the bathroom -- so there’s no need for the notice, right?

The necessary event is National Mammography Day, on which all women over 40 -- and those at risk -- are urged to schedule a mammogram in the hopes of detecting any early signs of breast cancer.

Saturday and Sunday:

Saturday is Dictionary Day, dedicated to that book with all the answers -- or, at least, with all the definitions. Why? Because, in 1758, Noah Webster, the man whose name has become synonymous (adj., "Having the same or a similar meaning" or "equivalent in connotation") with the idea of defining words, was born.

It’s also the birthday of two of the greatest playwrights in world history -- though they couldn't have been more different. 1854 saw the birth of Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde. Wilde wrote with a flamboyance and genius that has seldom been equaled. His plays, such as "The Importance of Being Earnest" and "Lady Windermere’s Fan," bristle with wit. Unfortunately, his homosexuality was anathema to Victorian English society, and he was sentenced to two years at hard labor, which broke both his body and his spirit. He died in exile in Paris in 1900.

In 1888, Eugene O’Neill was born. The son of one of America's finest actors, James O’Neill, Eugene was drawn to the theatre from his youth. After stints as a merchant seaman and in a tuberculosis sanatorium, he began writing plays that were generally experimental, theatrical, and tragic. His final plays, including "A Moon for the Misbegotten" and "The Iceman Cometh," are towering achievements, but both are surpassed by "Long Day’s Journey into Night," a portrait of his family that is simultaneously horrific, lacerating, forgiving, tragic, and comedic. He was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1936, and died in 1953.

Actress Angela Lansbury turns 85 today. Lansbury began her film career at the age of 17 and hasn't stopped working since. While most audiences know her as mystery novelist Jessica Fletcher on "Murder, She Wrote," she is widely considered to be the first lady of the American stage, whose work in such musicals as "Mame" and "Sweeney Todd" have earned her seven Tony Award nominations and five awards, not to mention multiple nominations for the Academy Awards (three), the Golden Globes (15), and the Emmys (18).

No doubt our good friends at the Ultimate Fighting Championship will note Miss Lansbury's birthday with tonight's UFC 120 in London, as will the folks who urge you to protect and improve the lives of cats around the country on National Feral Cat Day.

If you'd like to raise your own glass to her, we urge you to cook up a mess of noodles to accompany it, since tomorrow is National Pasta Day. If you don't have the urge to cook, you might want to pass on a quick burger and join others who are noting World Anti-McDonald’s Day. We'd never do that, personally -- the fries are just too darn good -- but we appreciate the sentiment.

However you celebrate, don't overdo it, or you won't be able to join us next time. See you then!

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