All right; so those weren't Oscar Wilde's last words - but they should have been We'll start the day by mentioning three of the wittiest men who ever lived. It's the birthday of both Jonathan Swift (b. 1667) and Mark Twain (b. 1835), and the anniversary of the death in 1900 of Oscar Wilde. Swift was the Irish cleric and satirist who wrote "A Modest Proposal" (which purportedly advocated that the cure for Irish economic woes was selling its children to be eaten) and "Gulliver's Travels" (which started out as a satire of European politics, but has evolved to become fodder for Jack Black to show once again how annoyingly unfunny he is). We've written about Twain in previous Sparks, but we’ll add once again that his "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" is considered by many to be the "Great American Novel," and that his autobiography was published a couple of weeks ago. Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde was one of Ireland and England's most celebrated wits, with an epigram for every occasion. He wrote plays, books, and poems, including one of the most perfect comedies ever, "The Importance of Being Earnest." In 1895, at the height of his fame, he was arrested and tried for his homosexuality, and eventually sentenced to two years of hard labor. A broken man by the time he was released in 1897, he left London, ending his days in a  shabby Parisian hotel. On a less gloomy Gallic note, we note that on this day in 1886, the Folies Bergère staged its first revue. The theatre was dedicated to music hall and vaudeville-type performances, and in its time has featured such stars as Charlie Chaplin, W.C. Fields, Elton John, Ella Fitzgerald, Frank Sinatra, and even Benny Hill. If you're looking for racier entertainment, we can point you to a double shot today, as CBS will air the annual "Victoria's Secret Fashion Show," and the 2011 Pirelli calendar will be released. The TV show, a parade of beautiful women walking the runway in their underwear is a beloved holiday tradition for men (and lingerie-loving women) everywhere, while the Pirelli calendar offers many of the same models, only sans the underwear, in artistic photos. (We'd offer more links to the calendar, but this is a family-friendly blog, after all.) We're so family-friendly, that we'll offer some programming to counter the fashion show. Tonight also brings the annual airing of the stop-motion animated classic, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and NBC's special "Christmas in Rockefeller Center," which will feature appearances by Susan Boyle, Mariah Carey, Sheryl Crow, Jackie Evancho, Josh Groban, Annie Lennox, Kylie Minogue, and Jessica Simpson The extravaganza will climax with the lighting of the Center's tree (this year, it's a 74-foot Norway spruce from Mahopac, New York). The weather forecast for New York on Tuesday evening calls for rain and a low of 53°F, not exactly winter weather, so we guess it's appropriate that the U.N.'s Climate Change Conference is being held this week in sunny Cancun, Mexico (Tuesday's forecast high: 82°F). Speaking of "hot," Tuesday is the 28th anniversary of the release of Michael Jackson's "Thriller," which became the biggest-selling album of all time, in addition to inspiring prisoners around the globe to replicate Jacko's signature moves. As unique as Michael Jackson in their own ways were Winston Churchill and Irma S. Rombauer. Churchill was the Nobel Prize-winning author, historian, orator, and two-time British Prime Minister who led his country through World War II (and was promptly bounced out of office afterward as thanks) and whose 136th birthday occurs today. Rombauer was the St. Louis teacher and housewife whose cooking classes were so popular that, on this day in 1931, she self-published her book of recipes under the title "The Joy of Cooking." The book has never been out of print, and although it has undergone numerous revisions and alterations in the decades since, it remains one of America's favorite cookbooks. Finally, we remind you that today is Computer Security Day, so take a moment to check your security settings and virus updates, won't you? We want to see you back safely next time. Suggested Sites... After Reading: Prison, Publication, and Personal Letters - letters to and from Oscar Wilde after his release from prison. Folies Bergere Stages First Revue - a show featuring "scantily clad chorus girls" was "a tremendous success." Boy, times sure have changed ... CBS: Victoria's Secret Fashion Show - ... yep, they sure have. Wikipedia: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Special - is it Hermie the Elf, or Herbie? About.com: Computer Safety Tips - stay virtually safe.

Directory categories: Authors, Playwrights, Paris, Rockefeller Center, Cookbooks

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"Here's looking at you, kid." On this weekend dedicated to two favorite American pastimes - shopping and food - we ask you to take a moment to think of Sylvan N. Goldman, as Saturday will mark the 26th anniversary of his death. Mr. Goldman was a major stockholder of the Piggly-Wiggly supermarket chain and invented the shopping cart. For various reasons, his customers didn't want to use the carts, so his solution was to hire fake shoppers to wheel them around the stores to show others how useful they could be. Obviously, it worked. The excitement of Thanksgiving has now passed, and while history tells us that Yahoo! will see search spikes today on both food poisoning and the location of your nearest pizza parlor, many of us will concentrate on the primary events of this season: shopping and not shopping. As consumers head to the disorienting wonderland that is the mall (and we note that Friday is the 145th anniversary of the publication of Lewis Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"), both of these pastimes will make big headlines in the media. For those who are pro-shopping, today is "Black Friday," the day of the year that sees the highest number of sales transactions. Let it be noted, however, that the day the most money changes hands is the Saturday before Christmas (though with Christmas falling on a Saturday this year, it’s anyone’s guess what the biggest day that will actually be). Monday is, of course, "Cyber Monday," when workers will waste a good portion of the day shopping online, rather than doing actual work (like writing The Spark). On the other hand, Friday is also "Buy Nothing" Day, which reminds us all to not feed the corporate beast that drives this holiday frenzy and to concentrate on either the message of the season or home-made gifts. Consider a cake (since it's also National Cake Day), or even donuts to commemorate the 2002 passing of Verne H. Winchell, who founded the Winchell's Donuts chain in 1948, and was known as "The Donut King." Whatever you eat, be sure to brush afterwards - and celebrate Friday's National Flossing Day. Someone who’s probably doing all he can to ignore this weekend is Eldrick "Tiger" Woods, since Saturday marks the one-year anniversary of the car crash that sent his whole word spiraling. Perhaps he can use the occasion to get his aura read and see his future. Fortunately for him, Sunday is International Aura Awareness Day. Failing that, he may want to head to New York for the first preview of "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark." The musical, with a score by Bono and The Edge, has been plagued by budget problems (its estimated cost is $65 million, nearly four times the usual for a big Broadway show) and severe injuries to cast members. "Break a leg!" might not be the best thing to wish this particular cast, but their misfortunes so far might make Tiger feel better. A number of birthdays fall on this weekend. Saturday sees what would have been the 88th birthday of cartoonist and "Peanuts" creator Charles M. Schulz (who died in 2000 the night before his final strip ran), as well as the 67th "birthday" of the Slinky. The flexible toy was invented by engineer Richard James in 1943, and its initial lot of 400 units sold out in a mere 90 minutes. Despite its limited uses (just how many staircases can it walk down?), the Slinky has remained a perennial toyland favorite. Saturday would have been the 70th birthday of martial arts superstar Bruce Lee. It's also the 100th anniversary of New York's Pennsylvania Station. Penn Station was a grand and imposing structure that welcomed millions of visitors and immigrants to Manhattan in the days when train travel was king. In 1963, despite a vigorous campaign to save it, the station was torn down to make room for the fourth Madison Square Garden, a mistake many in the city have rued in the decades since. Monday sees the birthday of movie choreographer supreme Busby Berkeley (1895), and Sunday brings us a trifecta of masters of their craft: "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart turns 48; Randy Newman, the Academy Award-winning composer (and writer of the greatest song ever written about Los Angeles), turns 67 (he's as old as the Slinky!); and Paul Shaffer, David Letterman's longtime bandleader, who's personally played with pretty much every major rock performer of the century, and whose group is the house band for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony turns 61. For us, though, the most significant anniversary of the weekend is the November 26, 1942 opening of "Casablanca" at New York's Hollywood Theatre. Still considered one of the greatest films ever made, "Casablanca's" mixture of heroism, humor, and self-sacrifice, combined with indelible characters and lines has never been equaled in the many years since. They truly don't make 'em like that anymore. Suggested Sites... Lewis Carroll Society of North America - 'tis brillig. Doughnuts: A Definitive History - personally, we prefer "donuts." Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark - the first video. Dangerous or not, it looks interesting. Slinky.org - "the physics lab in a box." Roger Ebert: Casablanca - it amounts to a lot more than a hill of beans.

Directory categories: Piizza Recipes, Leftover Turkey Recipes, Male Golfers, Cartoonists, Classic Hollywood Movies

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This may not be a pipe, but it is the illustration for a Spark Two events earlier this week couldn't help but remind us of their historical precedents. First, the engagement of Prince William and Kate Middleton made us remember that Friday is the 63rd wedding anniversary of his grandparents, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip. If you were thinking of sending Liz and Phil a present, it's probably not necessary; they're managing to squeeze by, even in this tight economy. Tuesday's groundbreaking for the George W. Bush Presidential Center at Southern Methodist University in Dallas made us think of November 19, 1939, when Franklin D. Roosevelt laid the cornerstone for the FDR Library and Museum in Hyde Park, New York, on the grounds of the Roosevelt family estate. It was America's first official presidential library. Until then, executive papers were either distributed to the President's families, given to the National Archives, or tossed away. The result was a mess that plagued historians. For example, there are numerous drafts and handwritten copies of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, all of which differ slightly, so that today it's unclear exactly what he said on November 19, 1863, when he delivered the speech to mixed reviews. Democratic newspapers panned it as "silly, flat, and dishwatery," and Republican papers called it "tasteful and elegant." You pays yer money and you takes yer choice, we guess. (Good thing there isn't that kind of partisanship today ...) Speaking of "paying yer money," we're guessing that more than a few people will be doing just that at the movies this weekend, as the first part of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" opens. We don't know if folks will be lining up for that, or to see the trailer for next summer's Green Lantern" movie, but we're willing to bet that there'll be some who are more interested in space opera than in teenage wizards. "Green Lantern" is a movie about an interstellar police force. We don't know if their home planet of Oa (or even Mogo, the Green Lantern who is a sentient planet) would be visible using the Hubble Space Telescope, but we do know that Saturday would have been the 121st birthday of Edwin Hubble, the astronomer for whom the telescope is named, and is the 26th anniversary of the founding of the SETI Institute, which searches for extraterrestrial life. Whether there's anyone else out there is a mystery that SETI is dedicated to solving, but that riddle pales in comparison to the one that gripped America over the summer and fall of 1980, when the country wondered who shot J.R. Ewing. Sunday is the 30th anniversary of the episode of "Dallas" that solved that mystery. It was estimated that 83 million people were tuned in that night, which is still the third-largest TV audience ever. Appropriately, Sunday is also World Television Day, dedicated to the boob tube and all its splendors. (It's also World Hello Day, during which you're supposed to say "Hello" to ten people. But if you're watching television, you probably won't get the chance. Of course, if you've spent Saturday night watching UFC 123 from Auburn Hills, Michigan, and Sunday afternoon watching the NASCAR Ford 400 from the Miami Homestead Speedway, you may be ready to get off the couch and socialize. Crazed from too much TV? You might try sending birthday greetings to Belgian artist René Magritte. He was born on November 21, 1889, and died in 1967, but his art is so surreal - with trains rushing from fireplaces and apples replacing human heads - that he might appreciate the good wishes anyway. If you're still desperate to make a human connection, you can wish a happy 45th to Bjork, the surrealist Icelandic singer and swan fancier. We close with week with two holidays: Sunday is Universal Children's Day, created by the United Nations in 1954 to encourage work that benefits and promotes the welfare of the children of the world, and Friday is World Toilet Day, which sounds funny, but promotes clean and sanitary conditions for everyone, child and adult. We are reminded on this day that a straight flush beats a full house. Suggested Sites... Franklin D. Roosevelt Home and Museum - "When I go up to Hyde Park, it is not just for the ride there / It's not that I love Hyde Park, but I love to park and hide there." Library of Congress: Gettysburg Address - "Seven score and seven years ago ..." DC Comics: Green Lantern - "In brightest day, in blackest night ..." Hubble Site - 20 years of breathtaking images. Los Angeles Time: The "Dallas" Shot That Was Heard Round the World - "Who shot J.R.?" (Warning: spoilers ahead.)

Directory categories: Royalty, U.S. Presidents, Harry Potter Movies, Green Lantern Comics, Astronomers

Archived under: 1950s, 1980s, 19th Century, Abraham Lincoln, Aliens, American History, Anniversaries, Artists, Astronomy, Buildings, Celebrations, Children, Childrens Health, Civil War, England, Events, Franklin D. Roosevelt, George Bush, Harry Potter, Health, Libraries, Movie Trailers, Movies, Music, Musicians, Mysteries, Newspapers, Presidents, Royalty, Science, Scientists, Singers, Space, Speeches, Superheroes, TV, Texas, Toilets, Tourist Attractions, U.K. History, United Kingdom, United Nations, United States, Villains, War, Weddings

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Goodnight to the creature who swims in the lake. Goodnight to the killjoys who think she's a fake. Thursday, we noted the anniversary of Route 66, and until the federal government decommissioned it, the various highway departments in the states through which the road ran kept it in good shape. Not every such department is as fastidious, though. For example, there's the Oregon Highway Division, which on November 12, 1970, decided that the best way to destroy a rotting sperm whale that had beached itself before dying was to blow it up, an incident which led to one the greatest memes in Internet history: "the exploding whale." While the whale parts made for a gloppy, smelly mess, the resulting patterns might well have resembled a masterpiece by Sunday's birthday boy, Claude Monet. Born in 1840, Monet was part of the revolutionary school of painting (taking its name - "Impressionism" – from of one of Monet's pictures) that was notable for depicting the effects of light on objects and places and making unique personal statements through their canvases. Friday must be a day for creatures. In 1933, Hugh Gray took the first known photos of the Loch Ness Monster in Scotland. While some deny the existence of "Nessie," we are convinced she is alive and well. Not so benign a creature was Joseph McCarthy, the senator who took paranoia, ignorance, and character assassination to new heights. Sunday would have marked his 102nd birthday. McCarthy was, by all accounts, an unpleasant man, and through his unceasing attempts to smear anyone who opposed him as a Communist, he managed to give his name to both an era and a political tactic. Censured by the Senate in 1954 for his actions, he eventually drank himself to death in 1957. Almost as unpleasant as Sen. McCarthy is Yanni, the New Age musician whose calming tunes are as soporific as the situation comedies of Sherwood Schwartz. Both men celebrate their birthdays on Sunday, so perhaps Mr. Schwartz (responsible for such sitcoms as The Brady Bunch" and "Gilligan's Island") and Mr. Hrysomallis (Yanni's real name) will spend the night before their 94th and 56th birthdays, respectively, watching something more energetic, like UFC 122. (The idea of Yanni screaming himself hoarse over wrestlers is pretty delicious.) Of course, it's possible that the men might celebrate with a trip, though we wouldn't suggest one as energetic as that begun on November 14, 1889, when pioneering female journalist Nellie Bly (aka Elizabeth Cochrane) began her successful attempt to travel around the world in fewer than 80 days, in emulation of Jules Verne's Phileas Fogg. Nellie completed the trip in a mere 72 days. An appropriate feat this week especially, as National Geography Awareness Week begins on Sunday. Newspapers around the world covered Nellie's trip, but the BBC couldn't have - because it didn't exist. The venerable network begin its radio service in 1922, some 33 years after her voyage. They've made up for it in the decades since with continuous news and entertainment. One of the stories we're sure they covered was the marriage of actress Carmen Electra and basketball player Dennis Rodman, wed in Las Vegas (where else?) in 1998. Unfortunately, the happy couple couldn't make a go of it, and they were divorced four-and-a-half months later. Something else that couldn't last (in spite of surviving about 500 years) was the Inca Empire, which saw the beginning of its end in 1533, when Francisco Pizarro's Spanish conquistadors arrived in Cajamarca, Peru, to show the natives who the new bosses were - a feat not unlike that performed by single women upon single men on Sadie Hawkins Day, which debuted in Al Capp's comic strip, "Li'l Abner" in 1937. Sadie Hawkins was the "homeliest gal" in Abner's hometown of Dogpatch. When she turned 35, her father declared that there would be a race with all the town's unmarried men being pursued by its unamrried women. Any bachelor who was caught was doomed to matrimony. We end the week by noting that Saturday is World Kindness Day, and noting the 1952 death of a woman who must have been one of the kindest people ever: Margaret Wise Brown. Brown was a writer of children's books, who, in collaboration with such artists as Clement Hurd, turned out such classics as "Goodnight, Moon" and "The Runaway Bunny," which have calmed and enriched the bedtimes of millions of children. Suggested Sites... The Exploding Whale - apparently, it's not just Oregon. Wikipedia: The Loch Ness Monster - all the arguments, pro and con, on Nessie. Edward R. Murrow: A Report on Senator Joseph R. McCarthy - Murrow takes McCarthy down. Around the World in Seventy-Two Days - Nellie Bly's charming account of her global adventure. 20 Shortest Celebrity Marriages - compared to some of these, Dennis and Carmen had a golden wedding anniversary.

Directory categories: Whales, Master Painters, New Age Music, Geography, Chiildren's Literature

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I'll trade you two railroads and the waterworks for Ventor Ave. and Oriental (Photo by Andrea Allen) Friday: We note the death of three show business giants today. First is George M. Cohan, who died in 1942. Cohan was the first Broadway star of the modern age, a quadruple-threat who acted, wrote, composed, and produced scores of plays and musicals. Unlike the energetically over-the-top Oscar-winning portrayal of him by James Cagney in "Yankee Doodle Dandy," Cohan's actual on-stage style was simple, warm, and intimate, contrasting sharply with the bombast of most other performers of the time. In 1956, pianist Art Tatum died at the age of 47. Despite his near-blindness, Tatum was certainly the greatest jazz pianist who ever lived, if not the greatest musician, period. His dazzling runs and breathtaking virtuosity have never been equaled. Vladimir Horowitz, no mean piano player himself, was in awe upon hearing Tatum's unrivaled technique and improvisational skills, saying that if Tatum ever took up classical music, he'd quit the next day. This day in 1960 saw the passing of Mack Sennett. In the 1910s and '20s, Sennett's film comedies were unsurpassed. He had a flawless eye for talent, discovering (among others) Harold Lloyd, Gloria Swanson, Roscoe Arbuckle, Marie Dressler, Mabel Normand, Ben Turpin, and Harry Langdon. Unfortunately, Sennett's vision did not include business acumen, and his career began a slow decline with the coming of sound in the late 1920s. He mostly retired in the mid-'30s, but spent the final quarter-century of his life making occasional cameos in other people's comedies and announcing projects that never quite got off the ground. His Keystone comedies remain the gold standard for early silent comedy. Sennett retired in 1935, but we don't know if he ever played Monopoly, the board game that was introduced by Parker Brothers on this day in that year. All this talk of movies has made us wonder just what’s opening today, and it’s actually a fair bunch of films (none of which are summer blockbusters, indicating it's probably the start of awards season). For example, there’s "Fair Game," starring Naomi Watts as exposed CIA agent Valerie Plame and Sean Penn as her husband Joseph Wilson; "For Colored Girls," directed by the ubiquitous Tyler Perry, and starring Janet Jackson; "Megamind," an animated superhero comedy starring the voices of Will Ferrell, Brad Pitt, and Tina Fey; "127 Hours," with James Franco as hiker Aron Ralston, who was forced to amputate his own arm when it became trapped under a boulder; and "Client 9," a documentary about former New York governor Eliot Spitzer. If motion pictures don't appeal to you, you might travel to England, to celebrate Guy Fawkes Night, which commemorates the 16th century plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament by burning scarecrow effigies of the "Gunpowder Plot's" alleged ringleader. Saturday and Sunday: Saturdays in the fall are college football day, and this is the anniversary of the day in 1869 when Princeton University (then known as the College of New Jersey) traveled to Rutgers College to play the first intercollegiate football game. (Rutgers won, 6-4.) What more appropriate way to celebrate that anniversary than by watching a modern college football game? Perhaps you could make it better by watching that game in Forest Grove, Oregon (fifteen miles west of Portland) and indulging in the Verboort Sausage and Kraut Dinner. And then throw in some delicious nachos as a part of National Nachos Day. With all the resulting wind you'll be producing, you could pick up your saxophone and blow a tune; after all it is the 196th birthday of Antoine-Joseph (Adolphe) Sax, the inventor of both the saxophone and saxotromba, and hence, Saxophone Day. Two more birthdays of note today. Thomas Ince (1882), who in a brief 14-year career, wrote, directed, produced, or acted in nearly 200 movies, and provided the fodder for one of Hollywood's first big scandals when he met his death on board the yacht of newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst. While the official story was that Ince died of heart trouble (at the age of 42), rumors have persisted that Hearst shot and killed Ince over the latter’s undue interest in Hearst’s mistress, Marion Davies. (This incident supposedly led to the long career of gossip columnist Louella Parsons, who was a witness to the alleged crime and given a lifetime contract to shut her up.) In 1892, Harold Ross was born in Aspen, Colorado. After working in his teen years on various newspapers and serving as an editor on the Army’s paper "Stars and Stripes" during World War I, he settled in New York, founding and editing "The New Yorker" in 1925. For the last 85 years, it's been the gold standard of American magazines, hailed for its in-depth reportage, fiction, and cartoons. Had Ross been near a television (still a relatively new invention) on his 55th birthday in 1947, he could have watched the inaugural broadcast of "Meet the Press," which began its reign as the longest-running television show in the world that day. After 63 years, the show can still make news, unlike Sunday's big event, the end of daylight saving time. In spite of the fact that daylight saving ends every year, for reasons we'll never be able to figure, our evening commute home is always plagued with bumper-to-bumper traffic as people apparently forget how to drive in the dark. Since we expect traffic to be bad, we'd better take off now. See you next time! Suggested Sites... George M. Cohan 101 - introduction to the "Man Who Owned Broadway." NPR Jazz Profles: Art Tatum - audio report on Tatum's life and legacy. Gunpowder Plot Society - "remember, remember, the fifth of November." The First Intercollegate Game - report on Rutgers vs. Princeton. Wlliam Randolph's Hearse - did Hearst murder Thomas Ince?

Directory categories: Songwriters, Jazz Pianists, Silent Movie Actors and Directors, Games, Sausages

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