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Posts Archived Under Talk Show Hosts
The Milestone Mo-Tel today. Winners get one
free night. Losers get two. (That's the second
time we've used that joke today.) |
If the whole world loves a winner, we have a weekend full of love ahead of us. Let's get started!
The most obvious winners will be declared Thursday when either Clint Robertson or Brandy Kuentzel wins the right to become Donald Trump's latest Apprentice for one year. (We hope that the loser isn't stuck for two years ...) One of the three remaining teams on "The Amazing Race" will win a million smackers on Sunday. (Perhaps eating that sheep's head may have been worth it.) It's almost guaranteed that none of these winners will make Barbara Walters' list of the year's "Most Fascinating People," (most fascinating to her, anyway ...) but we’ll find out for sure Thursday. (Our guess for #1 on her list? The cameraman who smears the Vaseline all over the lens that photographs her.) And on Friday, they'll be handing out the Nobel Prizes. The Nobels aren't like the Oscars; everyone already knows who won and the winners have actually accomplished something that matters, rather than playing loveable oddballs.
Saturday we'll see some sports winners. In the afternoon, someone (Cam Newton? Andrew Luck? LaMichael James?) will win the Heisman Trophy as the nation's finest college football player, and in the evening, either Georges St-Pierre or Josh Koscheck will take the welterweight championship at UFC 124 in Montreal. We assume the combatants will not resort to wheeling around the ring in roller skates, but while it would be appropriate (given that Thursday marks the anniversary of their 1884 patent), we'd have to warn them that such a thing would be just plain dangerous.)
Sunday also marks the 10th anniversary of the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling in Bush v. Gore, which ensured that George W. Bush became the nation's 43rd president. Whether that made the country a winner or a loser, we'll leave up to you. Falling into a similar category is Larry King's retirement from his CNN talk show on Friday. (As with President Bush, we won't say whether that's a plus or a minus.)
Weary travelers were winners 85 years ago Sunday, when the Milestone Mo-Tel, the world's first motel (short for "motor hotel"), opened in San Luis Obispo, California.
If we stretch the definition of "winner" to include those whose birthdays fall this weekend, then we're lousy with winners. For example, Thursday sees the birthdays of both Margaret Hamilton (1902) and Redd Foxx (1922). Hamilton is best known for her role as the Wicked Witch of the West in the 1939 classic, "The Wizard of Oz." Despite her indelible portrayal of one of the screen's great villains, Hamilton loved children and was a lifelong advocate for charities that benefitted kids and animals. Foxx was someone whose work, on the other hand, was decidedly not for kids. A veteran of the black vaudeville entertainment venues known as the "Chitlin' Circuit," Foxx recorded a series of "party records" in the 1950s that were both filthy and hilarious. He reached a mainstream fame in the '70s when he starred in "Sanford and Son," where his frequent feigned heart attacks were one of the show's running gags. In a supreme irony, he suffered an actual heart attack while rehearsing for another television show, but no one believed was it real until it was too late.
Sunday would have been the 95th birthday of Frank Sinatra. The greatest popular singer of the 20th century, Sinatra was also an Oscar-winning actor, starred in numerous TV specials that consisted of nothing but him singing with his guests, and was the biggest attraction in Las Vegas when that title actually meant something.
Monday, we celebrate the 192nd birthday of Mary Todd Lincoln, wife of Abraham Lincoln who was criticized in her time for her extravagant and spendthrift ways, and committed to a psychiatric hospital by her son Robert. While she was undoubtedly depressed, wouldn't any woman who’d lived through the death of three sons and the murder of her husband (while sitting next to him) feel the same? She was eventually declared competent and released, but her health was broken, and she died three years later.
If birthday celebrants are winners, so too are those is show business who meet success, like performers and lovers of country music, who can celebrate the 83rd anniversary of the first broadcast of the Grand Ole Opry on Friday. The Opry has been a staple of radio and television in the decades since it debuted, highlighting the best in country, from Hank Williams and Minnie Pearl to Clint Black and Carrie Underwood. Someone who's appeared at the Opry (but has yet to be inducted into its member ranks) is Taylor Swift. Perhaps the Opry has been waiting for her to turn 21 - in which case, it need wait no longer! The Grammy-winning singer reaches her majority on Monday.
Thursday will see the annual airing of the Rankin-Bass animated Christmas special, "The Year without a Santa Claus," which features memorable turns by Snow Miser and Heat Miser (who are also not members of the Opry).
Friday is also the 55th anniversary of the "Mighty Mouse Playhouse's" television premiere. In TV's early days, broadcasters were desperate for material to air, so old movies and cartoons were natural fodder, and Paul Terry's "Mighty Mouse" cartoons were some of the oddest programs to come to the screen. Mini operatic melodramas, they featured the eponymous rodent singing his was through battles with the villainous Oil Can Harry. Mighty made a brief comeback in the 80s in a brilliant TV series produced by Ralph Bakshi, but he's been in retirement since self-appointed censor Donald Wildmon mistook the mouse's flower sniffing for drug use. (No, really.) Wildmon isn't the only well-intentioned, if-misguided, protector we mention, though, since Thursday is the anniversary of the founding of the John Birch Society, which has been protecting Americans from the Communists lurking under their beds for 52 years.
Legitimate do-gooders have something to celebrate this weekend, too. Thursday is the U.N's annual International Anti-Corruption Day, dedicated to wiping out, well, corruption and promoting the rule of law, and Friday is both Human Rights Day and the beginning of Human Rights Week.
We end by noting a delightful juxtaposition on Thursday. December 9, 1792, saw the first cremation in America, when statesman Henry Laurens died at his plantation in Charleston, South Carolina, and per his will, his body was burned. On the same date in 1886, Clarence Birdseye, inventor of frozen food was born. We're reminded of the choice Curly Howard was given in a Three Stooges short: to be burned at the stake or to have his head cut off. He opted for the former, on the reasoning that a hot stake's better than a cold chop. Good night!
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"Here's looking at you, kid." |
On this weekend dedicated to two favorite American pastimes - shopping and food - we ask you to take a moment to think of Sylvan N. Goldman, as Saturday will mark the 26th anniversary of his death. Mr. Goldman was a major stockholder of the Piggly-Wiggly supermarket chain and invented the shopping cart. For various reasons, his customers didn't want to use the carts, so his solution was to hire fake shoppers to wheel them around the stores to show others how useful they could be. Obviously, it worked.
The excitement of Thanksgiving has now passed, and while history tells us that Yahoo! will see search spikes today on both food poisoning and the location of your nearest pizza parlor, many of us will concentrate on the primary events of this season: shopping and not shopping. As consumers head to the disorienting wonderland that is the mall (and we note that Friday is the 145th anniversary of the publication of Lewis Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"), both of these pastimes will make big headlines in the media.
For those who are pro-shopping, today is "Black Friday," the day of the year that sees the highest number of sales transactions. Let it be noted, however, that the day the most money changes hands is the Saturday before Christmas (though with Christmas falling on a Saturday this year, it’s anyone’s guess what the biggest day that will actually be). Monday is, of course, "Cyber Monday," when workers will waste a good portion of the day shopping online, rather than doing actual work (like writing The Spark).
On the other hand, Friday is also "Buy Nothing" Day, which reminds us all to not feed the corporate beast that drives this holiday frenzy and to concentrate on either the message of the season or home-made gifts. Consider a cake (since it's also National Cake Day), or even donuts to commemorate the 2002 passing of Verne H. Winchell, who founded the Winchell's Donuts chain in 1948, and was known as "The Donut King." Whatever you eat, be sure to brush afterwards - and celebrate Friday's National Flossing Day.
Someone who’s probably doing all he can to ignore this weekend is Eldrick "Tiger" Woods, since Saturday marks the one-year anniversary of the car crash that sent his whole word spiraling. Perhaps he can use the occasion to get his aura read and see his future. Fortunately for him, Sunday is International Aura Awareness Day. Failing that, he may want to head to New York for the first preview of "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark." The musical, with a score by Bono and The Edge, has been plagued by budget problems (its estimated cost is $65 million, nearly four times the usual for a big Broadway show) and severe injuries to cast members. "Break a leg!" might not be the best thing to wish this particular cast, but their misfortunes so far might make Tiger feel better.
A number of birthdays fall on this weekend. Saturday sees what would have been the 88th birthday of cartoonist and "Peanuts" creator Charles M. Schulz (who died in 2000 the night before his final strip ran), as well as the 67th "birthday" of the Slinky. The flexible toy was invented by engineer Richard James in 1943, and its initial lot of 400 units sold out in a mere 90 minutes. Despite its limited uses (just how many staircases can it walk down?), the Slinky has remained a perennial toyland favorite.
Saturday would have been the 70th birthday of martial arts superstar Bruce Lee. It's also the 100th anniversary of New York's Pennsylvania Station. Penn Station was a grand and imposing structure that welcomed millions of visitors and immigrants to Manhattan in the days when train travel was king. In 1963, despite a vigorous campaign to save it, the station was torn down to make room for the fourth Madison Square Garden, a mistake many in the city have rued in the decades since.
Monday sees the birthday of movie choreographer supreme Busby Berkeley (1895), and Sunday brings us a trifecta of masters of their craft: "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart turns 48; Randy Newman, the Academy Award-winning composer (and writer of the greatest song ever written about Los Angeles), turns 67 (he's as old as the Slinky!); and Paul Shaffer, David Letterman's longtime bandleader, who's personally played with pretty much every major rock performer of the century, and whose group is the house band for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony turns 61.
For us, though, the most significant anniversary of the weekend is the November 26, 1942 opening of "Casablanca" at New York's Hollywood Theatre. Still considered one of the greatest films ever made, "Casablanca's" mixture of heroism, humor, and self-sacrifice, combined with indelible characters and lines has never been equaled in the many years since. They truly don't make 'em like that anymore.
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"Turkey good! Football good!
Lip-synching in Macy's Parade bad!" |
There's lots to say about arts and entertainment over the next few days. Let's start at the top, with Boris Karloff, born November 23, 1887 . The erstwhile William Henry Pratt labored as a truck driver, farmhand, and occasional character actor until 1931, when he landed the role of the monster in "Frankenstein." Even though he went unbilled in the original release of the movie, he became an instant star whose name was linked with horror until his death in 1969. In a nice coincidence, Forrest J. Ackerman, the man who became one of Karloff's best friends and biggest boosters was born a day later (albeit in 1916). Ackerman was the longtime editor of "Famous Monsters of Filmland" magazine, and cultivated a love for monsters and psychological horror in a million youngsters in the 1950s and '60s.
But we've only scratched the surface when it comes to entertainment. For example, in 1889, the first jukebox went into operation at the Palais Royale Saloon in San Francisco. (We'll add that "juke" was slang for ... well, a "house of ill repute," and leave it at that.) This distant ancestor to the iPod contained a tinfoil phonograph with four listening tubes and a coin slot for each tube. So popular was it that it took in $1,000 in the first six months - a nickel at a time. Musical entertainment has evolved significantly in the century since. On Wednesday, we'll note the 142nd birthday of composer Scott Joplin. Joplin didn't invent ragtime music, but was one of its foremost composers, his "Maple Leaf Rag" virtually defined the era.
Joplin isn't the only great artist who's an exemplar of his chosen genre. On Wednesday evening, PBS will broadcast an all-star concert celebrating the 80th birthday of Stephen Sondheim, composer and lyricist for some of the best - and most important - musicals in theatre history. And on November 25, 1949, Robert May and Johnny Marks' "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" made its debut/ Gene Autry's recording of the tune eventually sold more than 25 million records.
If those are the heights musical genres can reach, we note what some might consider the nadir, represented by tonight's episodes of "Glee" (featuring Carol Burnett) and the (tainted?) finale of "Dancing with the Stars." (And we mention the 1871 founding of the National Rifle Association purely in passing here - in case someone wants to emulate Steven Cowan.)
Music can have an effect even in the world of science. Wednesday is the 36th anniversary of Donald Johanson and Tom Gray's discovery of the Australopithecus afarensis skeleton that they named "Lucy," after the Beatles song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."
The fine arts are also represented this week. Tuesday is the 118th birthday of Romain de Tirtoff, who, under the name Erté (taken from the French pronunciation of his initials) virtually defined the Art Deco style of the early 20th century, and Wednesday is the 146th birthday of French illustrator Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec. Toulouse-Lautrec captured the lives of the Parisian demimonde of the late 19th century. And while it's not exactly "art," the first issue of "Life" magazine was published in 1936. Over the next 36 years, the photojournalism magazine featured some of the finest photography in the world - though none of its photographers could have used a zoom lens until it was invented this week in 1948.
In performing arts, Agatha Christie's murder-mystery play "The Mousetrap" opened in London's West End in 1952, and has been running ever since, making it the longest continuously-running play in history. (There was even a recent controversy over whether the surprise ending should be revealed on Wikipedia. It was, so if you go over there, consider yourself warned.). Pity movie producer John Woolf, who bought the movie rights to the play, on the condition that he not film it until it closed. Woolf died in 1999, but the play runs on. It sounds like a disaster almost profound enough to be filmed by producer Irwin Allen, king of such disaster movies as "The Poseidon Adventure" and "The Towering Inferno," and whose 94th birthday would have been Wednesday. It could be a disaster, but not a cosmic mystery suitable for solving by Doctor Who, the venerable BBC television series that began broadcasting this week in 1963.
Crime and criminals also figure into this week (like every week, probably). On November 24, 1971, D.B. Cooper skyjacked a Boeing 727, collected $200,000 in ransom, and parachuted out over southern Washington state, never to be seen again.
We mention an odd birthday coincidence in passing. Wednesday is the 122nd birthday of motivational author Dale Carnegie, and Thursday is the 175th birthday of industrialist and philanthropist Andrew Carnegie. Dale (whose last name was originally spelled "Carnagey") wrote the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" (which is still a best-seller on the self-help charts, nearly 75 years after it was published). Andrew made his fortune in the steel business and ended up giving most of it away, endowing libraries, schools, universities, along with numerous charities and foundations. By 1919, he had given away over $350 million (about $4.3 billion in 2010 dollars), with the remaining $30 million distributed after his death that year.
In animal events, President Obama is scheduled to give an executive pardon to a turkey on Wednesday, and Thursday (in addition to everything else) is the National Dog Show in Philadelphia.
Lastly, we mention what is, for many, the most notable event of the week: Thanksgiving, with its attendant gorging, football. T-Day also brings us the Macy's Parade, which gives television viewers across the country the chance to watch b-list actors and singers lip synch to lousy music, and this year will feature such traditional holiday entertainers as Jessica Simpson, Jimmy Fallon and the Roots, and Kanye West. Truly a Thanksgiving smorgasbord!
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The next two days are devoted to quitting. Jimmy Kimmel has declared Wednesday to be National UnFriend Day; 24 hours dedicated to going through your social network pals and deleting the ones you don't really know. Speaking for ourselves, we're on the verge of 800 Facebook friends and 2,500 Twitter followers, all of whom are dear, close, personal friends, so we'll pass, thank you.
More importantly, though, Thursday is the annual Great American Smokeout, on which we encourage all our friends who smoke to quit. Trolling the Internet for hours on end may not be the healthiest activity, but it beats the heck out of inhaling toxic gasses. If you are quitting, perhaps you can ease the cravings for that next coffin nail by baking some bread. After all, Wednesday is Homemade Bread Day, and we think even the most committed smoker would agree that a loaf of freshly-baked bread tastes better than a dose of nicotine. Combine that loaf with a jug of this year's Beaujolais Nouveau (which will be released on Thursday), and you have the makings of a nice little snack - or a dandy poem.
Two birthdays of note. Wednesday would have been Rock Hudson's 85th birthday. Hudson was the devastatingly handsome leading man of the 1950s and '60s who starred in numerous romantic comedies (usually opposite Doris Day), soap opera weepers - and even Howard Hughes' favorite movie, "Ice Station Zebra." (Hughes so loved the movie that he bought a Las Vegas television station just so he could have them screen it any time he wanted to see it - even if it meant breaking into other programming.) Society's attitudes and the workings of the movie industry kept Hudson (born Roy Harold Scherer Jr. of Winnetka, Illinois) deeply-closeted, and in 1985, he became the first major public figure to announce he had AIDS.
Another gay icon, novelist Marcel Proust, died on November 18, 1922. Proust's novel "À la recherche du temps perdu" (usually known in English as "Remembrance of Things Past," but more properly translated as "In Search of Lost Time") caused a sensation when it was published in seven volumes from 1913 to 1927. Its use of multiple viewpoints and stream-of-consciousness influenced such writers as Virginia Woolf and James Joyce, and is generally considered one of the greatest novels of the 20th century.
Our other "birthday" of note actually isn't. On November 18, 1928, Walt Disney's cartoon, "Steamboat Willie," starring Mickey Mouse, premiered in New York at what is now the Broadway Theatre. It is usually stated that "Willie" was both the first Mickey cartoon (it was actually the third) and the first cartoon with synchronized sound (although other cartoons had had soundtracks as early as 1924). That said, though, the Walt Disney Company considers the 18th to be Mickey's birthday, so who are we to argue?
Thursday will also see the announcement of People Magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive" for 2010. We would be surprised to see this year's honor go to Tom Cruise. (Not that we don't like Mr. Cruise; we'd just be surprised ...) Regardless of whether he's named or not, we're sure Tom can take comfort in it also being the fourth anniversary of his wedding to Katie Holmes. (We only hope Oprah and her couch have recovered by now.)
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Quite possibly the worst photo
ever taken of the Mona Lisa
(Taken by the author in 2009.) |
A new week presents new opportunities, new challenges, and new events to note. Let's begin, shall we?
Monday:
Last week we mentioned that Wednesday was anniversary of Leonardo da Vinci commission to paint the portrait that became known as the Mona Lisa. Well, today is the anniversary of the museum that is the painting's home. In 1793, the French government opened the Louvre to the public as a museum. Built as a fortress in the 12th century and gradually converted into a palace, following the French Revolution, it eventually became the most-visited art museum in the world (approximately 8.5 million visitors a year), with a collection of nearly 400,000 items - ranging from ancient Egyptian antiquities to 19th-century masterpieces– of which only 35,000 are on display at any one time.
Our birthday of note today is that of Edmond Halley, born in 1656. Halley (pronounced "Holly," not "Hal-ee," or "Hailey") was the English astronomer who realized that not only were the various celestial objects that had visited the earth since 466 BCE actually only one comet, but also that the comet was in such an orbit that it would return like clockwork every 76 years. In 1705, Halley predicted that the comet would return in 1758 – which it did. Unfortunately, Halley never actually saw his prediction confirmed, as he died in 1742.
Speaking of deaths, we note the 1965 passing of newspaper columnist Dorothy Kilgallen. Kilgallen was nationally known for her "Voice of Broadway" column in New York's "Journal-American" as well as her weekly appearances on the "What's My Line?" game show. Always political, she became obsessed with the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, doing extensive interviews and investigations, and coming to the conclusion that there had been a massive cover-up of the murder. She claimed to have evidence that would blow the lid off the case, but was found dead in her apartment under very mysterious circumstances. Apparently healthy only hours before, she was found sitting in bed in a bedroom she never used, fully made-up and dressed, with a book she had finished weeks earlier by her side, and her reading glasses nowhere nearby. Her husband claimed she had come home at midnight, but eyewitnesses had seen her out on the town as late as 2 a.m. All her research on the assassination had mysteriously vanished. The official verdict said that her death was due to either a heart attack or a drug overdose, but we have our suspicions.
In happier news, Conan O'Brien will make his TBS debut tonight, with his new talk show, the eponymously-titled "Conan." We should probably make the nearly-obligatory joke about the barbarian of the same name, but haven't those been done to death?
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