"I say, Jeeves; this 'Spark' thing is a bit of a rum go, isn't it?" "Actually, sir, I believe it's a rather useful compendium of Internet links." "Nonsense, Jeeves; there's nothing useful on the Internet." Now that it's officially autumn (in the Northern Hemisphere, anyway), events seem to be calming down as we prepare for the long winter hibernation. But don't think for a minute that nothing's going on. For example: Monday: In 1759, Mason Weems was born. Although he studied theology and became a parson in the Episcopal Church, we remember him best for his 1800 "History of the Life and Death, Virtues and Exploits of General George Washington." The book was less a biography than a collection of exaggerations and falsehoods -- most notably the story of six-year-old George cutting down one of his father's cherry trees,then confessing to the crime. The book was popular in its time, but has been debunked in the centuries since. It's a day to celebrate politicians, such as the 126th birthday of Eleanor Roosevelt. Mrs. Roosevelt was the wife of Franklin D. Roosevelt, and the first lady of the land for some 12 years, During her time in the White House, she fought tirelessly for liberal causes and human rights, continuing her work after her husband's death, as both a United States delegate to the United Nations, and as chair of the U.N. Commission on Human Rights. Not that she couldn't have fun, or take time out to appear on quiz shows or to hawk margarine on television. And it's the 35th wedding anniversary of Bill and Hillary Rodham Clinton. (Hint to Bill: the 35th is the coral or jade anniversary). Little did the Clintons know that their wedding night would coincide with the premiere of "Saturday Night Live," a program that would, in the decades to come, poke endless fun at both of them. Remember last week when we were all aquiver over the Nobel Prizes being announced? Well, the festivities conclude today with the announcement of the winner of the Prize for Economics. Economics being an inexact science, this is the only one of the prizes not founded by Alfred Nobel, having been established by the Bank of Sweden in 1969. What better way to celebrate winning a Nobel than by having a huge Thanksgiving feast? Think it's too early for Thanksgiving? Not if you're in Canada, where today is Turkey Day, thanks to their earlier harvests. And leftover turkey makes a great sandwich, perfect for National School Lunch Week, which begins today. Finally, and more seriously, in light of the recent "It Gets Better" project, we note that today is National Coming Out Day, on which we celebrate our lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered friends and family members and their fight for equality. Sadly, tomorrow is the 12th anniversary the death of Matthew Shepard, who was tortured to death solely for being gay. Tuesday: Not so interested in equality was the Roman emperor Nero, who ascended to the throne on this day in 54. While Nero was, by all accounts, a tyrant and a dictator, he is likely best known for the apocryphal scenes of him fiddling or playing the lyre while Rome burned in a fire that destroyed a good portion of the city – a tale that's as false as the one about Washington and the cherry tree -- or the myths that Paul McCartney suffered a premature death. The "Paul is Dead" craze began when a group of Drake University students uncovered a series of "clues" they thought had been planted by the Beatles to indicate McCartney had died. On this day in 1969, they persuaded WKNR DJ Russ Gibb to play "Revolution #9" backward in order to reveal its supposedly masked message of "Turn me on, dead man." Some notable TV anniversaries today. Most important to us is the 1950 premiere of "The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show." While Burns and Allen were one of the top acts in vaudeville, movies, and radio, their television show was their most important contribution to show business. Decades ahead of its time, the show featured such innovations as George talking directly to the audience about the plot of the episode (which he generally found out about by watching the program -- as it was taking place -- on the television in his den, and replacing actors in mid-scene with other actors playing the same part. All of it was highlighted by Gracie's unique form of humor, which combined a lovable dimness with an inability to see beyond the literal meanings of words. In 1953, "The Bob Hope Show" began its 20-year run on NBC, as America's favorite comedian traded quips and appeared in skits with the country’s top movie stars, athletes, and personalities. 1978 saw the premiere of "Sneak Previews," the first national iteration of the many shows featuring film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert battling each other over which movies were any good. Those that were were awarded the coveted "two thumbs up" rating. Those that weren’t were usually greeted by Aroma the Educated Skunk or Spot the Wonder Dog, who highlighted the "stinker" or "dog" of the week. We can assume that such a dismal fate would not await either the nominees for the Man Booker Prize, awarded each year to the best English-language novel written by a citizen of the British Commonwealth (the winner of which will be announced today), or those hoping for a National Book Award, the finalists for which will be announced tomorrow. Those who are afraid they won’t get either a nomination or an award can take comfort in knowing that tomorrow is National Face Your Fears Day. Buck up and wait till next year! You’d think a holiday would be anything but controversial, but today is Columbus Day (even if the banks were closed yesterday), and the "discoverer of America" is anything but universally hailed, especially by Native American groups. Wednesday: Only three events of note today, but none of them are without interest. First of all, today is the 235th anniversary of the founding of the United States Navy. It's also National Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day, in the hopes that having a stuffed friend nearby will relieve some of your workplace stress. And speaking of stress, it was four years ago today that the Six Flags theme park in Gurnee, Illinois held a live cockroach eating contest. If only they'd waiting until the 14th, they could have made the competition part of National Chocolate Covered Insect Day or even National Dessert Day. Yum! Thursday: We mentioned that last week was the anniversary of the start of the carving of Mount Rushmore, and we have to wonder, given today's anniversary, whether Theodore Roosevelt could have done all the sculpting by himself, using only his bare hands. Why? On this date in 1912, while campaigning in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Roosevelt was shot at point blank range. Fortunately, a metal glasses case and the speech he was supposed to deliver was folded in his breast pocket and took most of the impact. Even with a fresh flesh wound and the bullet still in him, TR still delivered the speech. They don't make 'em like that anymore. Speaking of unique individuals, today is the birthday of actress Lillian Gish. Born in 1893, Miss Gish began her film career in 1912, working with pioneering director D.W. Griffith, and kept working until 1987’s "The Whales of August." Her career spanned virtually the entire history of cinema. While it might seem impossible that one woman could have been in both 1915’s "The Birth of a Nation" and an episode of "The Love Boat" 65 years later, Miss Gish did it! Miss Gish even did live TV (there was no other kind in the 1950s, after all), and NBC's "30 Rock" will revive that artform tonight, with a special live episode from Rockefeller Center’s Studio 8H, normally the home of "Saturday Night Live." As unique as Theodore Roosevelt, Lillian Gish, and live television is "Winnie-the-Pooh," the children’s classic by A.A. Milne, first published on this day in 1926. Friday: Speaking of characters, we note quite a few of them today. For example, Grace Bedell,  the eleven-year-old girl who wrote Abraham Lincoln on this date in 1860, suggesting that he grow a beard because "all the ladies like whiskers and they would tease their husbands to vote for you and then you would be President." Whether or not Lincoln took the advice seriously, he did start growing a beard within a month and was indeed elected. Then there's P.G. Wodehouse, born in 1881. Wodehouse wrote some of the funniest novels ever penned (many of which featured the hopelessly dim Bertie Wooster and his invaluable valet, Jeeves) and was also a talented songwriter, who worked with composer Jerome Kern to, more or less, create the American musical. And let us not forget Jack the Ripper (there's a transition!), who in 1888, sent his letter "From Hell" to the police investigating his murders. Speaking of death, superspy Mata Hari met hers on this day in 1917. Even though she had lured many a man to his doom during World War I, she met her own end before a firing squad. Of course, the entire world nearly met its end in 1962, as the Cuban Missile Crisis began. The Soviet Union had deployed nuclear missiles in Cuba, only 90 miles from the Florida coast, and the whole world held its breath as U.S. President John F. Kennedy and Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev went toe-to-toe, daring each other to blink first. Khrushchev ultimately conceded, removing the missiles after two weeks. But it's not all gloom and doom today (even if today is National Grouch Day and tomorrow is National Boss Day -- are they inseparable?). It’s the anniversary of the 1951 premiere of "I Love Lucy," the sitcom that soon became the nation's favorite program and has aired continually ever since, thanks in large part to star and producer Desi Arnaz. In the early days of television, comedies were either aired live and lost forever, or syndicated using a kinescope (that is, by placing a camera in front of a monitor and filming the live broadcast). Arnaz had the idea of filming the show with three cameras before a live audience, treating the whole thing as a small movie -- a technique used to this day. Of today’s last two events, one is unnecessary and the other is most necessary. The unnecessary one is Global Handwashing Day, which has the goal of encouraging everyone to wash their hands using soap and water to prevent the spread of disease. We know all our readers wash their hands -- especially after using the bathroom -- so there’s no need for the notice, right? The necessary event is National Mammography Day, on which all women over 40 -- and those at risk -- are urged to schedule a mammogram in the hopes of detecting any early signs of breast cancer. Saturday and Sunday: Saturday is Dictionary Day, dedicated to that book with all the answers -- or, at least, with all the definitions. Why? Because, in 1758, Noah Webster, the man whose name has become synonymous (adj., "Having the same or a similar meaning" or "equivalent in connotation") with the idea of defining words, was born. It’s also the birthday of two of the greatest playwrights in world history -- though they couldn't have been more different. 1854 saw the birth of Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde. Wilde wrote with a flamboyance and genius that has seldom been equaled. His plays, such as "The Importance of Being Earnest" and "Lady Windermere’s Fan," bristle with wit. Unfortunately, his homosexuality was anathema to Victorian English society, and he was sentenced to two years at hard labor, which broke both his body and his spirit. He died in exile in Paris in 1900. In 1888, Eugene O’Neill was born. The son of one of America's finest actors, James O’Neill, Eugene was drawn to the theatre from his youth. After stints as a merchant seaman and in a tuberculosis sanatorium, he began writing plays that were generally experimental, theatrical, and tragic. His final plays, including "A Moon for the Misbegotten" and "The Iceman Cometh," are towering achievements, but both are surpassed by "Long Day’s Journey into Night," a portrait of his family that is simultaneously horrific, lacerating, forgiving, tragic, and comedic. He was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1936, and died in 1953. Actress Angela Lansbury turns 85 today. Lansbury began her film career at the age of 17 and hasn't stopped working since. While most audiences know her as mystery novelist Jessica Fletcher on "Murder, She Wrote," she is widely considered to be the first lady of the American stage, whose work in such musicals as "Mame" and "Sweeney Todd" have earned her seven Tony Award nominations and five awards, not to mention multiple nominations for the Academy Awards (three), the Golden Globes (15), and the Emmys (18). No doubt our good friends at the Ultimate Fighting Championship will note Miss Lansbury's birthday with tonight's UFC 120 in London, as will the folks who urge you to protect and improve the lives of cats around the country on National Feral Cat Day. If you'd like to raise your own glass to her, we urge you to cook up a mess of noodles to accompany it, since tomorrow is National Pasta Day. If you don't have the urge to cook, you might want to pass on a quick burger and join others who are noting World Anti-McDonald’s Day. We'd never do that, personally -- the fries are just too darn good -- but we appreciate the sentiment. However you celebrate, don't overdo it, or you won't be able to join us next time. See you then! Suggested Sites... Truth, Lies, Parson Weems, and Walt Disney - how Parson Weems's truth-stretching has persisted throughout American history. Remembering Gene - Roger Ebert discusses his friend and rival Gene Siskel on the tenth anniversary of his death. Lillian Gish.com - all about the longest career in the history of the movies. History of the Musical Stage: 1910-1919 - how Jerome Kern and P.G. Wodehouse invented the modern musical. The Cuban Missile Crisis - the JFK Library's official history.

Directory categories: American History, Urban Legends, Television History, Vaudeville, Phobias

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Alfred Nobel: "Boom goes the dynamite!" Welcome to this the very special Nobel Prize-week edition of The Spark! Let others bask in the sham glow of the Oscars and Emmys. The Nobels are the Big Prizes -- as we'll see as we travel through the week. We're too excited to wait, so let's begin! Monday: hile almost nothing can top the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine, which will be awarded today, we'd like to think that National Taco Day comes close. Celebrate medicine by clogging your arteries, we say! That's not all, though. This week is also World Space Week, commemorating not only the 1957 launch of the Soviet Union's Sputnik I, (the world's first artificial satellite), but also landmarks like SpaceShipOne, which, in 2004, became the first private craft to fly into space, winning the Ansari X Prize. And don't forget World Animal Day, a day to celebrate all our furry, feathered, and finned friends. (Many of whom them may be uninvited guests in the athletes' village at the Commonwealth Games in New Delhi, India. Athletes and animals vying for the same living space seems a scenario tailor-made for Buster Keaton, whose 115th birthday we note. Keaton was the greatest of the clowns who populated silent film in the 1910s and 1920s; his physical feats and creativity were seldom equaled. And although his personal life hit the skids in the early '30s, he never stopped working, and he lived long enough to see his films rediscovered in the 1960s, and his genius acknowledged. Today is also the birthday of writer Damon Runyon (1880). Runyon started out as a street-wise sportswriter, reporter, and columnist in 1920s New York, and he came to know a vast number of characters from all strata of society, from gamblers and con men to socialites and evangelists. He portrayed them in a language all his own, in a series of short stories that paint the Big Apple as a giant amusement park. Those stories were adapted into the musical "Guys and Dolls," which opened in 1950 and became an instant classic. For all the characters Runyon described, few had the colorful grotesqueness of the cast of "Dick Tracy," the venerable comic strip that made its debut in the Detroit Mirror this day in 1931. Created by writer and artist Chester Gould, Detective Tracy fought such oddities as The Mole, Pruneface, "Itchy" Oliver, and Flattop Jones (not to mention Flattop Jr.). Gould died in 1985, but the strip continues to this day with its unique mix of grotesque villains who meet gruesome deaths. Fun for the whole family! Not as bizarre -- but with as colorful a cast of characters -- was the Orient Express, the luxury train that ran from Paris to Istanbul starting in 1883. In novels and films, the train's passengers are usually portrayed as committing espionage, blackmail, murder, or any number of other unsavory exploits. While the original train stopped running in 2009, a private company picked up both the route and the rail cars -- although nowadays the full route is offered only twice a year. We were going to remark that, if any of those characters on the Orient Express gets too nefarious, the Supreme Court is back in session today and could take care of them. But of course, the Court has no jurisdiction in Europe, so the point is moot. The Court does have jurisdiction in South Dakota, where, in 1927, the first carving began on Mount Rushmore. Over the decades, there have been calls for other presidents to join Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Theodore Roosevelt, but those petitioners are out of luck, since there's no more rock that can be sculpted. Tuesday: Today's Nobel category: physics. Who will follow in the footsteps of Einstein, Bohr, and the Curies? Today's birthdays: Larry Fine (1902), the most valuable of the Three Stooges, who provided the necessary buffer between Moe and Curly, Shemp, Joe, and Curly Joe. Ray Kroc (also 1902), the milkshake-machine salesman who, became the head of McDonald's and terrorized untold millions of cows. In 1922, cartoonist Bil Keane was born. Keane created "The Family Circus." Even though the strip has long since been taken over by Jeff Keane (the red-haired, oval-headed one), it has spawned innumerable parodies and is both loved and loathed by millions. Not realy "birthdays," but also making their debuts today were "Monty Python's Flying Circus" (which premiered on the BBC in 1969) and the first of the James Bond films, "Dr. No," which opened in 1962. (Let it be noted that Sean Connery was not the first Bond, though. Barry Nelson portrayed American secret agent "Jimmy Bond" in a 1954 television adaptation of "Casino Royale.") And not exactly a "debut," but something to be noted is that October 5 is the most common birthday in the United States. That makes sense, since it would mean that most of those children were conceived on New Year's Eve. (We'll let you do the rest of the math ...) All those children need education, so it's appropriate that Tuesday is also World Teachers Day. Wednesday: This time of year, it's hard to not think of baseball, especially with the Major League playoffs beginning today, so it's fortunate that there are two baseball-related events. In 1880, the Cincinnati Red Stockings were kicked out of the National League for selling beer. (Hard to imagine any franchise today going without beer sales.) And speaking of "going without," in 1945, restaurateur Billy Sianis and his pet billy goat were ejected from Wrigley Field during Game 4 of the World Series. Sianis took the occasion to curse the team, which went on to lose the Series -- to which the team has never since returned. (The Cubs, of course, won their last world championship in 1908.) A winning team needs chemistry, which is perhaps why the Nobel Committee chose today to award the prize for that discipline. (We're hoping to win the Nobel for strained transitions.) For those not so interested in baseball, but who are still looking for a pastime, we offer Balloons Around the World, dedicated to those artists who twist and sculpt inflated rubber bladders. If balloons don't tickle your fancy, you might head to Dallas, where the Fall Toy Preview opens, giving consumers and retailers a clue as to what will be the hot toys this holiday season. We have to wonder what will be this year's Cabbage Patch Kid, the red-hot can't-get-it doll that debuted 27 years ago tomorrow. If toys and balloons aren't your speed, you might screen "The Jazz Singer," to commemorate its 1927 opening. The film wasn't the first talking picture by any means, but the combination of Al Jolson and its story proved a powerhouse that was the death-knell for silent movies. If musicals aren't your speed, how about a movie starring Bette Davis? Davis may well have been the greatest actress in the history of the movies, garnering 11 Academy Award nominations (winning two), whose career spanned the decades from 1931 until her death on this day in 1989. Davis did a couple of Broadway musicals (which is unfortunate, given her overall lack of a voice), but neither of their scores made the "Great American Songbook," so you’'ll have to depend on Michael Feinstein, whose PBS series on the Songbook begins airing tonight. Thursday: Birthdays of the day: 1859: Thomas J. Wise. Wise was one of England's foremost bibliographic experts, who made a fortune selling rare books and first editions for outrageous prices. The books Wise sold were rare and first editions, but not in the way he alleged. The fact was that he forged most of them. (None of them, of course, would have been alleged to be by the winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature, which will be announced today.) Rssian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin turns 58 today. We assume he'll pose shirtless and perform feats of strength, as is his wont. We further assume he won't don a black t-shirt and try to make his biceps look huge, as does today's other birthday boy, Simon Cowell, born in 1959. And please, if you would, take a moment on this, the ninth anniversary of the US invasion of Afghanistan, to reflect on all the lives lost and changed forever. Friday: The late Harvey Pekar would have turned 71 today. Pekar's comic series "American Splendor" gave new life to the independent comics movement, as he turned his mundane daily life into art. Not so arty are the books of R.L. Stine, who was born in 1943. Stine and his innumerable ghost writers have turned out scores of young adult horror novels designed to scare kids and throw parents into throes of agony because their children aren't reading better books. In movies, actress Sigourney Weaver turns 61 (and it's a damn fine-looking 61, we may add), and the biopic of Secretariat opens, just four days after the 21st anniversary of his death. Secretariat was probably the greatest racehorse of all time, whose athleticism and personality won him millions of fans -- and many of whose racing records still stand, decades after they were set. One of the few awards Secretariat did not receive was the Nobel Peace Prize, which will be announced today. Saturday: Something for everyone today. It's the birthday of Lt. Col. Alfred Dreyfus (1859), the French Army officer who was falsely convicted of treason, and whose imprisonment on Devil's Island sparked international outrage and exposed a vast strain of anti-Semitism running through France's government and society. For the more sensationally-minded, it's the 120th birthday of evangelist Aimee Semple McPherson. "Sister Aimee" was a circus in herself, exhibiting equal measures of religious fervor and a genius for self-promotion -- to the point where she faked her own kidnapping in 1926. Over the decades, though, her fame faded, and she died of an accidental overdose of Seconal in 1944. (And, coincidentally, a television film was made about her fake kidnapping that starred Bette Davis as her mother.) As loud and boisterous as McPherson was, Jacques Tati (1909) was silent. Tati was a French writer/actor/director who achieved worldwide fame with his comedies featuring himself as the befuddled Monsieur Hulot, a gentle and quiet man who was baffled by the modern world. In December, "The Illusionist," based on an unproduced screenplay of his, will open in the U.S. -- starring a animated version of Tati. For the adventurous, Kona, Hawaii, will today feature the Ironman Triathlon World Championships, wherein competitors will take on a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike race, and a 26.2-mile run -- and then ask for more. If that sounds too strenuous, you might want to take a trip to Manhattan, where the ice rink at Rockefeller Center will open. Seems a bit early to be taking part in winter sports, but we suppose anything is possible in New York. Of course, even skating may seem a bit much for some, so we'll just remind them that it's Moldy Cheese Day, devoted to the tasting and enjoyment of smelly fromage -- the smellier and moldier, the better. Lastly, we note with sadness that, had history run a different course, we'd be celebrating the 70th birthday of the late Beatle John Lennon and the 30 years of music we've been robbed of because of his untimely murder. Sunday: To end the week, we suggest you dig out your fancy duds to celebrate Tuxedo Day, which marks the anniversary of the tuxedo dinner jacket making its debut in New York City in 1886. The coat got its origins when the members of the exclusive Tuxedo Club in Tuxedo Park, NY (and you wondered how the coat got its name ...) began looking for a new style of jacket that was less formal than a cutaway but was still dressy. If you’'re in a mood to travel, you might take your tux and head to London for the grand reopening of the Savoy Hotel. The Savoy originally opened in 1899 and was the last word in luxury and opulence, featuring electric lights and elevators, and bathrooms with hot and cold running water inside most of the room. The hotel's been closed since 2007 while it's undergone a $350 million renovation, which promises to bring it into the 21stst century and beyond. If London sounds a bit expensive, you might try traveling to Pyongyang to celebrate North Korea's Party Foundation. After all, it's the 65thth anniversary of the founding of Workers Party of Korea. If you run into Kim Jong Il, you might give him a lovely cake (since it's National Cake Decorating Day) -- though you might likelier be reminded that it's World Mental Health Day. But the Dear Leader isn't the only reminder of the varying degrees of mental well-being. For example, today would have been the 86thth birthday of film director Ed Wood. Wood is generally considered to be the worst director who ever lived, and his masterpiece, "Plan 9 from Outer Space," is thought to be one of the worst movies ever made. (We've seen worse, personally.) Wood was less mentally unstable than he was incompetent, so who else might we think of when speaking of poor mental health? How about the good citizens of Lake Havasu City, Arizona, who bought and dismantled London Bridge, moved it to their desert town, and reopened it on this day in 1971? Or the well-meaning folks who'll be traveling to Ashton, England, for the World Conker Championships? What is conkers?, you may ask. It's a game where two players take horse-chestnut seeds, run stringa through them, and then swing them at an opponent's conker. The first player to break the other's seed wins. We don't get it, but they love it. Our final note for the week is to call attention to the day's date: 10/10/10. 10+10+10=30, and "-30-” is the old newspaperman's code for the end of a story, which we'll take as our cue. See you next time! -30- Suggested Sites... Food Network: Taco Recipes - food doesn't get much simpler or better. International Buster Keaton Society - how many people still love Buster? Damfino! Roadside America: More and More Rushmore - Mount Rushmore: it's not just for South Dakota anymore. How to Make Balloon Animals - anything more difficult than a snake is beyond us. Sound Film History - let's hear it for the movies.

Directory categories: Civilian Space Travel, Animals, Insets, and Pets, Silent Movie Actors and Directors, Comic Strips, Passenger Trains

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Poor Helene (before the Coke spill), dancing with that awful Damien, rather than Michel (Photo by The Spark) Yesterday, we began a stroll down memory lane in honor of the re-recording of the hit charity song "We Are The World" -- a song I had to sing at a sixth-grade assembly. We've been reminiscing about our early performances. Many of them we'd just as soon forget, but as you'll see, some had a shiny silver lining, or were even positive experiences! Helene: (pictured) My first memorable performance was in Kindergarten: My teacher was originally from Poland, so she taught us some Polish dances that we performed at the end of the year. I loved the costume, but I was really disappointed by my partner: I wanted to dance with Michel, not with Damien! My whole family came to see me dance, and the day would have been perfect if I hadn't spilled my first ever Coke on my pretty Polish dress. Vinay: We had to sign-language to Whitney Houston's "The Greatest Love of All" and I sure hope there aren't any photos or videos of it. Why? Because I never really learned it and so I was just trying to copy what was being done around me. Mica: I went to an artsy elementary school in Lima, Peru, where I was part of an after-school dance class (taught by famous Peruvian music artist, Susana Baca). I think it was in fourth or fifth grade that we had to dance La Marinera, a traditional coastal dance, at one of the school's shows. This is a very romantic dance typically performed by a man and a woman, but since most of us were girls in the class, I was relieved that we could perform as a group and not have to bear the embarrassment of dancing with a boy, in front of a large crowd. Andrea: The details are hazy, but in second grade, I was among a group of girls who were supposed to do a little dance during a talent show at our school. We all wore similar costumes -- red tights and red leotards -- but when show time came I felt so self-conscious, so mortified, that I insisted upon wearing a red cardigan on top of this costume. My mom kept trying to tell me that this sweater would actually make me stand out more, but she couldn't convince me. So I danced with my sweater on... and survived the ordeal! Emily: In eighth grade, my two best friends and I performed "That's What Friends Are For" at the annual choir concert. After that year, two of us moved to different states, but we still kept in touch. Recently, someone posted a photo of the performance on Facebook. I realized that when I was 13 I looked like one of the sister-wives on the compound in "Big Love." I'm not actually sure whether my extra-ugly uniform or performing a Dionne Warwick hit is more embarrassing, but at least I can say my friends weren't an issue. Mark: Placed on stage at Horsemanship and Mountaineering Camp in the Colorado Rockies. Second Grade. Told to sing Joe Walsh's "Rocky Mountain Way." Was offered the words to the song as I stepped up to the mic. "Have it all memorized," I replied. Band started, drummer signaled my cue, went blank. "Spennn lasss... Spent last year... Hummm, hum, hummm..." Camp counselors consoled me by saying it was the best comic relief value of the show. Adam: Not embarrassing, but awesome. We sang "The Rainbow Connection" from "The Muppet Movie." I think it was 1980. We all had flashlights and held them in front of us. Thank goodness my colleagues survived these ordeals to sing and dance another day. What performance do you remember from childhood? Suggested Sites... PS22 Chorus - these Staten Island kids are definitely into their performances. Rock Choir - singing groups for all ages and skill levels, but only in the U.K. so far. Camp Skits - ideas from Ultimate Camp Resource for fun at camp or any time. How to Tape a High School Play (Well) - instructables.com - how are you going to embarrass your kids in 20 years if you don't have evidence? Dr. Phil: "Stage Parents" - cautionary tales of parents who expect too much.

Directory categories: Music, Music Instruction for Children, Children's Camps, Poland, Susana Baca

Archived under: Actors, Arts, Children, Dance, Entertainment, Kids, Music, Performing Arts, Rock and Roll, School

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Sure, they look cute now, but they'll be embarrassed about it once they grow up (Photo by USACE Europe District) When I first heard that Quincy Jones was going to re-record the 1985 song "We Are The World" and donate proceeds to Haitian relief, I had a flashback to the '80s. It was slightly scary, but not for the usual reasons. Although the original Live Aid song, recorded for USA for Africa, is memorable for its catchy tune and stellar group of performers, what it reminds me of is having to sing it at a sixth-grade assembly. For many of the kids and teachers, it was quite a production; they even held auditions for solo parts. The cheese factor was very high, but I'm sure the show managed to leave many parents teary-eyed. This got me wondering what my fellow Yahoo!s had to perform in their schooldays at the behest of well-intentioned adults, and whether there might be any incriminating photos or video hanging around. Here's what they remember: Sarah: My school did an "American Music Retrospective" that was framed as an episode of "American Bandstand" (this was 1996, so no "TRL" yet). We sang everything from "Rock Around the Clock" to "California Dreaming" to "Flashdance… What a Feeling" (how the latter counts as great music is beyond me). The scariest part was when one of the teachers came out dressed like John Travolta and did the "Stayin' Alive" dance. I'm still trying to wipe that vision from my memory. Sebastian: Reciting Portia's "The quality of mercy is not strain'd" speech from "The Merchant of Venice" in the seventh grade in front of the whole class, after a large bout of insomnia. Everyone had to do it. Plus, it was a girl's speech! Embarrassing! (P.S. for Shakespeare nerds: the speech falleth like sack of hammers thereupon, thus interrupting the flow of the play. Critics, scholars and other bores are still scratching their heads as to what purpose Shakespeare saw inserting a long, morality-soaked speech in the middle of continuous action.) Mike: I think my only on-stage performance was as a dancing clown in our horrible fifth-grade version of "The Nutcracker." It was pretty friggin' embarrassing. [Editor's note: the video is not of Mike but we sure wish it was!] Mitzi: Our fifth-grade class had to put on a performance of "The Nutcracker Suite." Self-conscious boys and girls in leotards and tutus -- oh, the humanity! Dave: It must have been sometime in the mid '60s. We were doing a Christmas pageant  (not a holiday pageant -- that's how long ago it was), and I was in a skit called "Christmas on Holiday Island," or some such. I was one of a group of illiterate savages to whom Christmas would be explained. Sometime in the middle of the skit, there was a huge, sudden burst of laughter. I looked around to see what had happened (even at that tender age, I knew the writing was terrible), and noticed that my crepe paper loincloth had pooled around my ankles. Fortunately, I'd had the sense (and modesty) to be wearing Bermuda shorts under the loincloth, but it didn't help my embarrassment at not only making a spectacle of myself, but of ruining the skit (an admittedly low bar to clear). I pulled up the loincloth and finished, leaving to a nice round of applause. Michelle: My first thought was the embarrassment of playing "Eye of the Tiger" in band class (so, out of tune, at about ¾ the correct speed), but I've come around on that and now think it's pretty hilarious. More embarrassing was an act that I wasn't roped into, but chose to do: a costumed lip-synch performance of "Rock Me Amadeus" in front of my entire class (or was it the whole school?) at a talent show. I'm sure it was a sight to behold, but thankfully no one got it on video. More accounts of childhood command performances tomorrow. Don't worry -- they aren't all horror stories! Suggested Sites... We Are The World Class of 2010 - news video on omg! with a behind-the-scenes look at the remake. USA For Africa - We Are the World @ 25 - info about the 25th anniversary of the original recording. Live Aid: A Look Back At A Concert That Actually Changed The World - MTV revisits the 1985 concert. Shakespeare for Elementary Students - PBS details the delicate art of getting kids to enjoy Shakespeare. The Nutcracker - Kaboose.com - familiarize your kids with classic stories early and they'll beg to dress up in funny costumes and dance!

Directory categories: Live Aid Concert, Haiti Earthquake Relief, Quincy Jones, Christmas Plays and Skits, Music Instruction for Children

Archived under: Actors, Africa, Arts, Ballet, Charity, Children, Entertainment, Kids, Music, Pageants, Performing Arts, Rock and Roll, School, The Nutcracker, William Shakespeare

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Who knows what evil lurks behind those covers? (Photo by Stewart Butterfield) Thank goodness you’re here! The Spark is one of the last safe sources of reading pleasure (but not too much pleasure, mind you). If you're reading this it means you're not reading one of those hundreds of questionable books that have been sprinkled throughout the nation's libraries just to tempt us with their naughty bits. Since the dawn of the printing press, people have cranked out dangerous books to promote and distribute their dangerous ideas (and you wonder why printers' apprentices used to be called "devils?"). And they keep making new ones! When trying to get books off library shelves and out of schools, it takes a great deal of effort for a few successes. As we stamp out one fire, two more are lit. Just within the past few years, books have been written especially for children with themes including sex, drugs, magic, vegetarian propaganda, and gay penguins. While these naughty books are fairly easy to spot, safe books are harder to find. Some well-meaning folks have published lists of recommendations, but even these must be revisited. I consulted a couple of lists that had glaring titles that should certainly have been omitted. "Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland?" Safe? What was that caterpillar smoking, anway? "Sylvester and the Magic Pebble?" Harmless? It has the word "magic" right there in the title! And the police are pigs! Our task is huge, but we must be vigilant. We must scour every text that might be put into childrens' hands. Find each objectionable section and read it. Read it again. Highlight it. Then hide it away (under the mattress is best), and make sure nobody else gets a look at it. Suggested Sites... ALA: Banned and Challenged Books - information and resources, including a Banned Books Week blog, and info about notable First Amendment cases. Banned Books Week - links to events across the U.S., with videos, resources, and ideas for fighting censorship. Amnesty International: Banned Books Week - reminding us that around the world, authors aren't just banned, they're persecuted. NCAC: Banned Books Week - National Coalition Against Censorship provides an interactive map and a very funny author video. KidSPEAK! - organization of kids, parents, teachers, and others who wish to defend the First Amendment (and continue to read Harry Potter books).

Directory categories: Banned Books Week, Banned Books, Censorship, Public Libraries, Children's Literature

Archived under: Authors, Banned Books Week, Books, Censorship, Children´s Literature, First Amendment, In Character, Reading, School, Words, Writers

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