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Fernandomania at Fifty
By Dave Sikula
Mon, November 1, 2010, 12:01 am PDT

One half of the Sistine Chapel ceiling
The Sistine Chapel ceiling. It would have
gone so much faster if Michelangelo had
skipped the second coat and used
a roller. (That joke never gets old.)
A new month brings new commemorations, events, and fun facts, so let's get to them!

Monday:

We’ll begin with the arts, and three of the artiest events occurred on this day. First, in 1512, the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel was exhibited to the public for the first time. It had taken Michelangelo four years to paint this mural of images from the Bible and it remains a top tourist attraction in Rome to this day.

Not to be outdone by Michelangelo, William Shakespeare chose this day to premiere two of his most-enduring plays, the first, "Othello," opened in 1604, and the second (also Shakespeare's last), "The Tempest," followed in 1611. Both plays premiered in London's Whitehall Palace.

If you feel inclined to create your own artistic masterpiece, today is the perfect day to start, since it's not only National Author's Day - but also the beginning of National Novel Writing Month. If you're unsure whether your novel is suitable for a general audience, you might consult the guidelines of the Motion Picture Association of America, whose movie rating system of G, M, R, X, went into effect on this day in 1968. (PG-13 and NC-17 were originally not part of the lineup; they were added in later years when further clarification was needed as to who could see which movies.)

An artist of a different type was Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Fernando Valenzuela, who turns 50 today. Valenzuela was a 19-year-old rookie at the start of the 1981 season when he got the opening day assignment. Valenzuela responded with a five-hit shutout of the Houston Astros, and "Fernandomania" was born, as crowds flocked to ballparks to see the lefthander with the unorthodox delivery (he looked to the heavens while in his windup) and Mexican-Americans across the country adopted him as one of their own. He won his first eight starts, with four more shutouts, and by the end of the year had won 13 games and both the Rookie of the Year and Cy Young Awards – the only time such a feat has occurred.

Yesterday was, of course, Halloween, and tomorrow is All Souls' Day and the Day of the Dead, so that must mean that today is All Saints Day. Mentioning saints makes us think of heavenly foods, and few are more heavenly than peanut butter – a happy accident, since November is Peanut Butter Lover's Month. Even more coincidentally, today is World Vegan Day, the perfect day to indulge in a nice PBJ (provided there's no bacon, of course).

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We Cannot Tell a Lie; It's the Best Spark Ever
By Dave Sikula
Mon, October 11, 2010, 12:01 am PDT

Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie as Jeeves and Bertie Wooster
"I say, Jeeves; this 'Spark' thing is a bit of
a rum go, isn't it?" "Actually, sir, I believe
it's a rather useful compendium of Internet
links." "Nonsense, Jeeves; there's nothing
useful on the Internet."
Now that it's officially autumn (in the Northern Hemisphere, anyway), events seem to be calming down as we prepare for the long winter hibernation. But don't think for a minute that nothing's going on. For example:

Monday:

In 1759, Mason Weems was born. Although he studied theology and became a parson in the Episcopal Church, we remember him best for his 1800 "History of the Life and Death, Virtues and Exploits of General George Washington." The book was less a biography than a collection of exaggerations and falsehoods -- most notably the story of six-year-old George cutting down one of his father's cherry trees,then confessing to the crime. The book was popular in its time, but has been debunked in the centuries since.

It's a day to celebrate politicians, such as the 126th birthday of Eleanor Roosevelt. Mrs. Roosevelt was the wife of Franklin D. Roosevelt, and the first lady of the land for some 12 years, During her time in the White House, she fought tirelessly for liberal causes and human rights, continuing her work after her husband's death, as both a United States delegate to the United Nations, and as chair of the U.N. Commission on Human Rights. Not that she couldn't have fun, or take time out to appear on quiz shows or to hawk margarine on television.

And it's the 35th wedding anniversary of Bill and Hillary Rodham Clinton. (Hint to Bill: the 35th is the coral or jade anniversary). Little did the Clintons know that their wedding night would coincide with the premiere of "Saturday Night Live," a program that would, in the decades to come, poke endless fun at both of them.

Remember last week when we were all aquiver over the Nobel Prizes being announced? Well, the festivities conclude today with the announcement of the winner of the Prize for Economics. Economics being an inexact science, this is the only one of the prizes not founded by Alfred Nobel, having been established by the Bank of Sweden in 1969.

What better way to celebrate winning a Nobel than by having a huge Thanksgiving feast? Think it's too early for Thanksgiving? Not if you're in Canada, where today is Turkey Day, thanks to their earlier harvests. And leftover turkey makes a great sandwich, perfect for National School Lunch Week, which begins today.

Finally, and more seriously, in light of the recent "It Gets Better" project, we note that today is National Coming Out Day, on which we celebrate our lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered friends and family members and their fight for equality. Sadly, tomorrow is the 12th anniversary the death of Matthew Shepard, who was tortured to death solely for being gay.

Tuesday:

Not so interested in equality was the Roman emperor Nero, who ascended to the throne on this day in 54. While Nero was, by all accounts, a tyrant and a dictator, he is likely best known for the apocryphal scenes of him fiddling or playing the lyre while Rome burned in a fire that destroyed a good portion of the city – a tale that's as false as the one about Washington and the cherry tree -- or the myths that Paul McCartney suffered a premature death.

The "Paul is Dead" craze began when a group of Drake University students uncovered a series of "clues" they thought had been planted by the Beatles to indicate McCartney had died. On this day in 1969, they persuaded WKNR DJ Russ Gibb to play "Revolution #9" backward in order to reveal its supposedly masked message of "Turn me on, dead man."

Some notable TV anniversaries today. Most important to us is the 1950 premiere of "The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show." While Burns and Allen were one of the top acts in vaudeville, movies, and radio, their television show was their most important contribution to show business. Decades ahead of its time, the show featured such innovations as George talking directly to the audience about the plot of the episode (which he generally found out about by watching the program -- as it was taking place -- on the television in his den, and replacing actors in mid-scene with other actors playing the same part. All of it was highlighted by Gracie's unique form of humor, which combined a lovable dimness with an inability to see beyond the literal meanings of words.

In 1953, "The Bob Hope Show" began its 20-year run on NBC, as America's favorite comedian traded quips and appeared in skits with the country’s top movie stars, athletes, and personalities.

1978 saw the premiere of "Sneak Previews," the first national iteration of the many shows featuring film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert battling each other over which movies were any good. Those that were were awarded the coveted "two thumbs up" rating. Those that weren’t were usually greeted by Aroma the Educated Skunk or Spot the Wonder Dog, who highlighted the "stinker" or "dog" of the week.

We can assume that such a dismal fate would not await either the nominees for the Man Booker Prize, awarded each year to the best English-language novel written by a citizen of the British Commonwealth (the winner of which will be announced today), or those hoping for a National Book Award, the finalists for which will be announced tomorrow.

Those who are afraid they won’t get either a nomination or an award can take comfort in knowing that tomorrow is National Face Your Fears Day. Buck up and wait till next year!

You’d think a holiday would be anything but controversial, but today is Columbus Day (even if the banks were closed yesterday), and the "discoverer of America" is anything but universally hailed, especially by Native American groups.

Wednesday:

Only three events of note today, but none of them are without interest.

First of all, today is the 235th anniversary of the founding of the United States Navy.

It's also National Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day, in the hopes that having a stuffed friend nearby will relieve some of your workplace stress.

And speaking of stress, it was four years ago today that the Six Flags theme park in Gurnee, Illinois held a live cockroach eating contest. If only they'd waiting until the 14th, they could have made the competition part of National Chocolate Covered Insect Day or even National Dessert Day. Yum!

Thursday:

We mentioned that last week was the anniversary of the start of the carving of Mount Rushmore, and we have to wonder, given today's anniversary, whether Theodore Roosevelt could have done all the sculpting by himself, using only his bare hands. Why? On this date in 1912, while campaigning in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Roosevelt was shot at point blank range. Fortunately, a metal glasses case and the speech he was supposed to deliver was folded in his breast pocket and took most of the impact. Even with a fresh flesh wound and the bullet still in him, TR still delivered the speech. They don't make 'em like that anymore.

Speaking of unique individuals, today is the birthday of actress Lillian Gish. Born in 1893, Miss Gish began her film career in 1912, working with pioneering director D.W. Griffith, and kept working until 1987’s "The Whales of August." Her career spanned virtually the entire history of cinema. While it might seem impossible that one woman could have been in both 1915’s "The Birth of a Nation" and an episode of "The Love Boat" 65 years later, Miss Gish did it!

Miss Gish even did live TV (there was no other kind in the 1950s, after all), and NBC's "30 Rock" will revive that artform tonight, with a special live episode from Rockefeller Center’s Studio 8H, normally the home of "Saturday Night Live."

As unique as Theodore Roosevelt, Lillian Gish, and live television is "Winnie-the-Pooh," the children’s classic by A.A. Milne, first published on this day in 1926.

Friday:

Speaking of characters, we note quite a few of them today. For example, Grace Bedell,  the eleven-year-old girl who wrote Abraham Lincoln on this date in 1860, suggesting that he grow a beard because "all the ladies like whiskers and they would tease their husbands to vote for you and then you would be President." Whether or not Lincoln took the advice seriously, he did start growing a beard within a month and was indeed elected.

Then there's P.G. Wodehouse, born in 1881. Wodehouse wrote some of the funniest novels ever penned (many of which featured the hopelessly dim Bertie Wooster and his invaluable valet, Jeeves) and was also a talented songwriter, who worked with composer Jerome Kern to, more or less, create the American musical.

And let us not forget Jack the Ripper (there's a transition!), who in 1888, sent his letter "From Hell" to the police investigating his murders.

Speaking of death, superspy Mata Hari met hers on this day in 1917. Even though she had lured many a man to his doom during World War I, she met her own end before a firing squad.

Of course, the entire world nearly met its end in 1962, as the Cuban Missile Crisis began. The Soviet Union had deployed nuclear missiles in Cuba, only 90 miles from the Florida coast, and the whole world held its breath as U.S. President John F. Kennedy and Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev went toe-to-toe, daring each other to blink first. Khrushchev ultimately conceded, removing the missiles after two weeks.

But it's not all gloom and doom today (even if today is National Grouch Day and tomorrow is National Boss Day -- are they inseparable?). It’s the anniversary of the 1951 premiere of "I Love Lucy," the sitcom that soon became the nation's favorite program and has aired continually ever since, thanks in large part to star and producer Desi Arnaz. In the early days of television, comedies were either aired live and lost forever, or syndicated using a kinescope (that is, by placing a camera in front of a monitor and filming the live broadcast). Arnaz had the idea of filming the show with three cameras before a live audience, treating the whole thing as a small movie -- a technique used to this day.

Of today’s last two events, one is unnecessary and the other is most necessary. The unnecessary one is Global Handwashing Day, which has the goal of encouraging everyone to wash their hands using soap and water to prevent the spread of disease. We know all our readers wash their hands -- especially after using the bathroom -- so there’s no need for the notice, right?

The necessary event is National Mammography Day, on which all women over 40 -- and those at risk -- are urged to schedule a mammogram in the hopes of detecting any early signs of breast cancer.

Saturday and Sunday:

Saturday is Dictionary Day, dedicated to that book with all the answers -- or, at least, with all the definitions. Why? Because, in 1758, Noah Webster, the man whose name has become synonymous (adj., "Having the same or a similar meaning" or "equivalent in connotation") with the idea of defining words, was born.

It’s also the birthday of two of the greatest playwrights in world history -- though they couldn't have been more different. 1854 saw the birth of Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde. Wilde wrote with a flamboyance and genius that has seldom been equaled. His plays, such as "The Importance of Being Earnest" and "Lady Windermere’s Fan," bristle with wit. Unfortunately, his homosexuality was anathema to Victorian English society, and he was sentenced to two years at hard labor, which broke both his body and his spirit. He died in exile in Paris in 1900.

In 1888, Eugene O’Neill was born. The son of one of America's finest actors, James O’Neill, Eugene was drawn to the theatre from his youth. After stints as a merchant seaman and in a tuberculosis sanatorium, he began writing plays that were generally experimental, theatrical, and tragic. His final plays, including "A Moon for the Misbegotten" and "The Iceman Cometh," are towering achievements, but both are surpassed by "Long Day’s Journey into Night," a portrait of his family that is simultaneously horrific, lacerating, forgiving, tragic, and comedic. He was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1936, and died in 1953.

Actress Angela Lansbury turns 85 today. Lansbury began her film career at the age of 17 and hasn't stopped working since. While most audiences know her as mystery novelist Jessica Fletcher on "Murder, She Wrote," she is widely considered to be the first lady of the American stage, whose work in such musicals as "Mame" and "Sweeney Todd" have earned her seven Tony Award nominations and five awards, not to mention multiple nominations for the Academy Awards (three), the Golden Globes (15), and the Emmys (18).

No doubt our good friends at the Ultimate Fighting Championship will note Miss Lansbury's birthday with tonight's UFC 120 in London, as will the folks who urge you to protect and improve the lives of cats around the country on National Feral Cat Day.

If you'd like to raise your own glass to her, we urge you to cook up a mess of noodles to accompany it, since tomorrow is National Pasta Day. If you don't have the urge to cook, you might want to pass on a quick burger and join others who are noting World Anti-McDonald’s Day. We'd never do that, personally -- the fries are just too darn good -- but we appreciate the sentiment.

However you celebrate, don't overdo it, or you won't be able to join us next time. See you then!

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Monsters and Heroes
By Dave Sikula
Mon, August 30, 2010, 12:01 am PDT

A still from
The most famous shot in "A Trip to the
Moon." Special effects have gotten
slightly better in the century since.
Welcome once more to The Spark, your weekly digest of events and happenings and information in the Yahoo! Directory to help you appreciate them more.

As we begin this last Spark before the Labor Day holiday, we have to ask just where in the heck the summer went. Seems like it was Memorial Day about five minutes ago, and now kids are back in school and Fall is lurking around the corner.

Anyway, let's look at the week ahead.

Monday:

It's a day for monsters and creators. In the former category, we have Benedict Arnold, who on this day in 1780, secretly promised to surrender the Continental Army's fort at West Point, NY, to the British. Arnold was an egomaniac, who was frustrated with the lack of attention he had received, and what better way to get attention than to commit treason?

Speaking of outsized egos, we note that today would have been the 127th birthday of Huey Long, the "Kingfish" who ran Louisiana like a private fiefdom until he was gunned down in 1935. Long ruled the state as both governor and senator, and his campaign slogan of "Every Man a King" mixed populism and fascism in equal measure.

But let us not mention only those who destroy, let's celebrate those who create. When thinking of monsters, one almost automatically turns to thoughts of Dr. Frankenstein and his creation, for which we owe thanks to Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, born in 1793, she wrote her novel, "Frankenstein, or The Modern Prometheus," at the tender age of 18.

And where would kids (and parents) be today without Babar? Laurent de Brunhoff (born in 1925), is son of Jean de Brunhoff, who created the elephant king, and who continued his adventures when his father died.

Of course, those kids grow up to be teenagers and young adults, and where would they be without Robert Crumb, who turns 73 today? Crumb was in the vanguard of the underground comix movement of the 1960s, and he’s still active and creative, and his influence on modern pop culture is incalculable.

And what would pop culture be without the Beatles? One hesitates to guess, but you can try to get a handle on it this week at the International Beatle Week in Liverpool, England.

Of course, the Beatles played in the Ed Sullivan Theatre in New York when they made their American debut in 1964, and that theatre is today home to the Late Show with David Letterman, which made its own debut in "the Ed" in 1993.

A nice contrast to end the day. Gazillionaire Warren Buffett hits the big 8-0 today, and out in the Nevada desert, Burning Man begins. The best thing we can say about Burning Man is that it gets all those people who want to go to Burning Man in one spot away from the rest of us.

Tuesday:

More monsters. In 12, Gaius Caligula was born. Though the surviving sources are incomplete, Caligula was one of the most notorious Roman emperors of them all, known for the stories of his cruelty, instability, and sexual perversion. (We won’t deal with them here, but you can find the stories easily enough.)

But Caligula isn't the only monster we note. On this date in 1888, Mary Ann Nichols was murdered and became the first of known victim of Jack the Ripper.

And, of course, in 1928, Berlin saw the premiere of Bertolt Brecht and Kurt Weill’s "Die Dreigoschenoper" (known in English as "The Threepenny Opera"), with its main character, the vicious murderer Captain Macheath, better known as "Mack the Knife." In 1959, Bobby Darin had a huge hit with that song (which is really odd, when one considers it's about a mass murderer killing people), and Friday will see the 51st anniversary of that song being banned by WCBS radio in New York City. At the time, there had been a series of teenage stabbings in the city, and the station didn't want to those crazy teens any ideas.

And while marijuana possession is small potatoes compared to all of the above, we see that, in 1948, actor Robert Mitchum was arrested in a Hollywood drug bust, and was eventually sentenced to 60 days in prison, a scandal which in those days threatened to kill his career, but nowadays would rate only a passing mention on "Entertainment Tonight."

All this talk of criminals and murderers makes us long for a hero, and fortunately, in 1942, "The Adventures of Superman" radio series began airing on the Mutual Broadcasting System.

Wednesday:

All we have for today is that in 1902, George Melies’s "A Trip to the Moon," was released in France and became the world’s first science fiction film.

Thursday:

So, in 490 BCE, the Athenian army was at Marathon, battling with Persia. The herald Pheidippides was sent to Sparta for help. He ran the 150 miles in two days, but because of religious laws, the Spartans couldn't send any help, so he ran back. In spite of not having the extra troops, Athens won the battle. And poor Phidippides took off again, this time running the 26.2 miles from Marathon to Athens to carry the news of the victory. He gasped out his last words, "We have won," and dropped dead of exhaustion. The lesson: do not underestimate the usefulness of warm-ups and warm-downs.

In 1666, the Great Fire of London began in the wooden house of King Charles II's baker. By the time it ended three days later, more than 13,000 houses, including St Paul's Cathedral, had burned to the ground -- but amazingly, only six people had died.

If you were living in England in 1752, tomorrow would have been September 14th. While most of the rest of the world had switched from the Julian Calendar to the Gregorian Calendar in 1582, the stubborn Brits had stuck to their guns. But, after nearly 200 years, there was an eleven-day discrepancy between the two calendars, and the English had no choice but to convert. There were actual riots, as people cried, "Give us back our eleven days!" But it was to no avail. Great Britain and her colonies were dragged kicking and screaming into the 18th century.

Speaking of fighting against reality, in 1934, singer Russ Columbo accidentally shot himself to death. Columbo was a wildly popular singer and actor, and when he killed himself (with an antique gun that was supposedly unloaded), his friends thought the news would prove fatal to his mother, so for the last years of her life, those friends created an elaborate ruse, sending postcards and letters from far-off locations, and using his records to simulate a radio show. In 1944, Mrs. Columbo died, never suspected that her son had died a decade before.

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday:

Let's talk about pioneers this weekend.

First, there's Louis Sullivan, born in 1856. Sullivan is, for all intents and purposes, the man who invented the skyscraper. Since Chicago had had its own giant fire in 1871, Sullivan had the opportunity and the laboratory to erest steel-framed buildings that towered over anything built before.

In 1833, 10-year-old Barney Flaherty answered an ad in "The New York Sun" and became the first world's first newsboy, which is why we celebrate Newspaper Carrier Day today -- at least for those relatively few Americans who still have newspapers carried to them.

Sunday would have been the 163rd birthday of Jesse James. Jesse was not the first Western outlaw, but he was the first to become world famous while plying his dubious trade.

1885 saw the opening of the Exchange Buffet in New York City. It was the first self-service restaurant (read, "cafeteria") in the United States. We don't know if they served chocolate (we'd guess yes), but whether they did or not, it's World Chocolate Day Friday, so you can serve yourself and indulge.

In 1888, George Eastman registered the trademark "Kodak" (for the clicking sound a camera's shutter makes) and received a patent for his camera that used rolled film. Eastman's "Brownie" camera came from the factory loaded with enough film for 100 photos. When the roll was complete, the customer would mail the whole camera back to the factory in Rochester, NY, where the pictures would be developed and sent back along with a new camera.

Sunday is the 81st birthday of comedian Bob Newhart. Newhart is a two-time pioneer, having been in the forefront of the stand-up comedy revolution of the 1950s, when he transformed himself from "button-down accountant" to a comedian with the top-selling album in America. Then, in the '70s, his sitcom, "The Bob Newhart Show," set new standards for writing, ensemble acting, and just plain goofiness.

The weekend before Labor Day always marks the annual Jerry Lewis MDA Telethon. While it's easy to criticize the telethon for its corniness and out-of-date show business aesthetic, it's impossible to deny Lewis's commitment and ability to raise money -- nearly a billion-and-a-half dollars since 1966.

Lastly, we'll note the 98th birthday of the late avant-garde composer John Cage with 4 minutes and 33 seconds of silence.

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Just Imagine the Overtime
By Dave Sikula
Mon, August 9, 2010, 12:01 am PDT

The Leaning Tower of Pisa
Did you ever think that maybe
it's the Tower is straight, and it's
the rest of Pisa that's crooked?
(Photo by Sébastien Bertrand)
Welcome back to The Spark, version 2.0. As is our new wont, we'll be taking a look at news, events, and anniversaries for the upcoming week in order to point you to deeper resources available about them in the Yahoo! Directory. Anxious to begin? So are we! Let's dive in.

Monday:

On this date in 1173, construction began in Pisa, Italy on a campanile. Soon after building began, the tower began to sink and tilt. (We think you can see where we’re going with this ...) Suffice it to say, though, we were surprised to learn it took nearly two hundred years to complete. Eight stories in two centuries? That's either some tough zoning commission or pretty strict union rules.

In 1483, Sistine Chapel in the the Vatican opened. We always wondered where its name came from, and it turns out it was named after Pope Sixtus IV. In another construction fun fact, we were surprised to learn that the room didn't open with Michelangelo's ceiling paintings in place; they weren't added for another 25 years -- and even then, it took the artist four years to finish the job. (Insert obligatory joke about "he should have used a roller.") We don't know if this is coincidental, but today is also International Art Appreciation Day. So go out and appreciate some art, won't you?

We don't take notice of just contractors today; we also salute Mr. Jacob Bronck, the Dutch farmer who managed to purchase what is now the New York borough of The Bronx (which is, of course, named for him) from local Indian tribes for 400 beads.

In birthdays today, cartoon icon Betty Boop turns 80, having made her debut in the Fleischer Studios cartoon "Dizzy Dishes" in 1930. Betty looks pretty good for an old dame, and was recently unveiled as the "Official Fantasy Cheerleader" of the United Football League -- and no, we’re not sure what that actually means. Speaking of fantasy mascots, the United States Forest Service unveiled their own mascot, Smokey the Bear, on this day in 1944.

For those of you inclined toward motorcycles and unseemly behavior, we'll note that the 70th Sturgis Rally begins today in Sturgis, SD, and leave it at that -- except to not that "unseemly behavior" reminds us that this is the 36th anniversary of Richard Nixon resigning the Presidency.

Tuesday:

In these days of the Interwebs, it's hard to conceive of how slow communication used to be. For example, it was until this day in 1776 that word of the United States declaring its independence reached London -- over a month after the event took place. It's a good day for revolutionary movements, as, in 1792, French revolutionaries stormed the Tuileries Palace and arrested King Louis XVI.

But it's not just a day for revolting; it's also a day for learning and scholarship. In 1846, James Smithson donated $500,000 (about $115 million today) to fund what would turn out to be the Smithsonian Institution in Washington. In much the same spirit, a group of, well, obsessive nerds (and we mean that fondly) met in Cooperstown, NY, in 1971, to found the Society for American Baseball Research, known for such Sabermetric abbreviations as WARP, wOBA, and xFIP. (If you’re more fond of football and video games than you are of baseball, please note that Madden NFL 11 will be released today).

Antonio Banderas turns 50 today. We'll say he looks pretty darn good for a guy his age, and leave it at that.

It's the 78th anniversary of the death of Rin Tin Tin. Rinty was a German Shepherd puppy who was found on a World War I battlefield by soldier Lee Duncan. Duncan brought the dog back to America and taught him any number of tricks, to the point where the dog became a major movie star in the 1920s, even keeping the Warner Bros. studio from going bankrupt.

To get serious for a moment, we wish our Muslim readers a blessed Ramadan, the holiday that begins today.

Wednesday:

Not much to note today, but we found this juxtaposition irresistible, especially in light of recent events in the Gulf. In 1994, a federal jury awarded $286.8 million to 10,000 commercial fishermen for their losses suffered as a result of the 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill. And on the same date in 1998, British Petroleum purchased Amoco for $49 billion.

And in 1934, the first prisoners started arriving at the newly-commissioned federal prison on Alcatraz Island.

BP? Oil spills? Alcatraz? We'll leave the math to you.

Thursday:

State fair season gets underway this weekend, as fairs open in Iowa, Missouri, Illinois, and West Virginia. The idea of the state fair conjures up (for us, anyway) the idea of small towns and the Midwest, which also reminds us that, in 1939, "The Wizard of Oz" had its world premiere not in Hollywood, but at the Strand Theatre in the bustling Wisconsin town of Oconomowoc. Turns out MGM was afraid they had a flop on their hands, and wanted to keep it quiet. (And we'll mention here that Bert Lahr, who played the Cowardly Lion, would have turned 115 this Friday).

Speaking of fantasies, supposedly on this date in 1943, the U.S. Navy tested a teleportation machine in what has come to be known as the Philadelphia Experiment.

Way, way back in 30 BCE, Cleopatra committed suicide by letting an asp bite her.

For the geeky, not only will Jon Stewart be interviewing George Lucas at the Star Wars Celebration V in Orlando, FL, but it's also the first day of the QuakeCon video game tournament.

For the more athletically inclined, the PGA Golf Championship begins today in Kohler, WI, as well as the annual inductions at the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, MA.

Friday:

Remember not so long ago, when everyone was all concerned about how 2012 is the end of the Mayan calendar, which somehow means the end of the world? Well, on this day in 3114 BCE, the Mayan calendar started up. We can only guess what was around before that ...

A big day for women today. It's the 150th birthday of sharpshooter Annie Oakley, the 100th anniversary of the death of pioneer nurse Florence Nightingale, and the 92nd anniversary of Opha Mae Johnson being the first woman to enlist in the United States Marine Corps.

In the world of movies, Alfred Hitchcock, "the Master of Suspense," known for such classics as "Psycho," "North by Northwest," and "Vertigo," was born in 1899, which would have made him 111 today -- almost as old as the cast of "The Expendables," which opens today with such stars as Sylvester Stallone, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. That it's also Friday the 13th and World Lizard Day seems almost non-coincidental. (Though it's also International Lefthanders Day, so we probably shouldn't make too much of it.)

Saturday:

Today is the 75th anniversary of the passing of the Social Security Act, which should come as a relief to Steve Martin, who turns 65 today, and is now eligible to retire.

On the same day Steve was born, the Japanese surrendered to the Allies, ending World War II, an event that was helped in no small part by the U.S. Army's Navajo code talkers -- Native Americans who radioed each other in their native tongue, completely confounding the Japanese who tried unsuccessfully to understand them; something that is celebrated today with National Navajo Code Talkers Day.

In Glasgow today, pipers from around the world will gather at the World Pipe Band Championships, something annoying for most of us, and bizarre enough to commemorate the 60th birthday of "Far Side" cartoonist Gary Larson. (Though perhaps it's not as bizarre as the UK Mobile Phone Throwing Championships.) A more pleasant musical event will take place on the other side of the Equator, as the World Tango Championships will be held in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Sunday:

Birthdays today for two people who conquered their own worlds in their own ways. In 1769, it was Napoleon Bonaparte, and in 1912, it was Julia Child.

In 1969 on this date, Woodstock opened, featuring such musical acts as Jimi Hendrix, Joan Baez, Carlos Santana, Crosby, Stills and Nash, the Jefferson Airplane, The Who, and others.

We began this week by mentioning the Leaning Tower of Pisa, so it’s only fitting that we end it by referring to the laying of the foundation stone of Cologne Cathedral in 1248. The Tower took only 200 years to build, but the Cathedral wasn't completed until 1880.

We wish you a good week and the hopes that your own construction projects go more swiftly.

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The Carthaginian
By Gaylon Polatti
Mon, April 21, 2008, 12:01 am PDT

Illustration of Hannibal crossing the Alps on elephant
Hannibal crossing the Alps
Every so often, we like to step back from the hurlyburly of modern life and turn to the lives of some of our favorite historical characters. Sometimes, though, that history can seem a little murky or oversimplified. Take Hannibal, for example. Consult most biographies of him, and you could come away with this summary: "So this fellow Hannibal crossed the Alps with a bunch of elephants and thoroughly flogged the Romans in the Second Punic War. Then he lost. The end."

Except it wasn't the end. Hannibal lived another twenty years after the battle at Zama, first rebuilding Carthage, then going into exile when the Romans got nervous. The end of his story gets lost because, no matter what, the Romans won, and as some wise man said, history is written by the winners.

What really happened? We don’t know. No one does. Generations of students read Polybius (anti-Hannibal) or Livy (seriously anti-Hannibal) or even Harold Lamb (a notorious Carthaginian sympathizer), and came to know Hannibal as the war leader who terrorized the Romans for nearly twenty years, but who was overwhelmed by Rome's greater resources. New retellings -- like this one and this one -- may be how future students learn about him. The reality? Anyone's guess.

And Hannibal himself? He probably would've preferred Livy.

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