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Ladies' Day
By Dave Sikula
Wed, December 1, 2010, 12:01 am PST

Rosa Parks' booking photo
Rosa Parks. They wouldn't even
let her sit while booking her.
Yesterday, we called attention to three historical wits (Swift, Twain, and Wilde), and today is the turn of more contemporary comics. Wednesday is the 75th birthday of filmmaker Woody Allen, and would have been the 70th birthday of comedian Richard Pryor. Allen is the Academy Award-winning director of such movies as "Annie Hall," "Bullets Over Broadway," "Radio Days," and "Hannah and Her Sisters." He'a been nominated for 16 Oscars (winning three), and has directed actors (Penelope Cruz, Michael Caine, Diane Keaton, Mira Sorvino, and Dianne Wiest – twice) to six. Pryor was the pioneering stand-up whose earthy and vulgar routines brought new life to live comedy in the 70s. He was loved and emulated by his peers (Jerry Seinfeld called him "The Picasso of our profession," and Bob Newhart described him as "the seminal comedian of the last 50 years"). As loved as he was by comedians and audiences, Hollywood didn't seem to know what to do with him, and, with only a few exceptions, his films were not always good. Plagued by addictions during his later life, he succumbed to multiple sclerosis at the age of 65.

Pryor and Allen aren't the only ones celebrating birthdays today. In 1891, James Naismith was trying to control a group of rowdy kids who were stuck indoors at the YMCA in Springfield, Massachusetts. Naismith nailed a couple of peach baskets to the walls, and invented "basket ball," thus giving birth to the hoops we know today. The game has changed slightly in the ensuing century, and will see a notable event Thursday when LeBron James makes his return to Cleveland, as the Heat take on the Cavs. We expect chaos to ensue, which is an odd way to begin National Stress-Free Family Holiday Month. Perhaps a round of Bingo would help everyone get along. Conveniently, December is "Bingo's Birthday Month," which aims to call attention one of America's other favorite pastimes.

If even more stress reduction is needed, fans can concentrate on soccer, as there are few diversions that are more sleep-inducing. Fortunately, FIFA will be on hand to remind us of the "beautiful game," as they'll be announcing on Thursday the unfortunate cities chosen to host the 2018 and 2022 World Cups.

We were surprised to see that France isn't in the running to host either of those competitions, but the French will be busy Thursday commemorating both Napoleon Bonaparte's 1804 self-coronation as Emperor of France, and the anniversary of the death of the Marquis de Sade, the aristocratic writer who lived a, shall we say, interesting lifestyle, that 200 years later, is still too hot for prime time - and for The Spark.

Let's move on to something a little more wholesome - holiday shopping, for example. And what would the holidays be without toys and ties? December is both Safe Toys and Gifts Month and National Tie Month. While we all want kids to be healthy and safe, we kind of long for the days of our youth when toys were made of metal with sharp edges, or loaded with cannonballs. Oh, well, better to stick with a nice cravat for Dad. It's dull, but won't put his eye out.

We tip our hats to three notable women over the next couple of days. Thursday would have been the birthday of the ultimate opera diva Maria Callas. Callas was born in New York in 1923 and by her 30s, had become one of the biggest names in opera history. Unfortunately, her singing and acting style - not to mention her fiery temperament and life off-stage - made her highly controversial.

On December 1, 1952, the New York Daily News reported that former Army GI George Jorgensen had returned from Denmark as Christine Jorgenson, becoming the first person to undergo a widely-publicized sexual reassignment surgery. Jorgensen spent the remaining 37 years of her life lecturing and performing as a cabaret singer, delivering such tongue-in-cheek numbers as "I Enjoy Being a Girl."

Three years later, African-American civil rights worker Rosa Parks was arrested in Montgomery, Alabama, for refusing to give her seat to a white passenger. Her arrest sparked a boycott of the entire Montgomery bus system that ended only when a Supreme Court order ruled that Montgomery's segregated bus system unconstitutional.

A iconic fictional woman made her debut on December 2, 1947, when Tennessee Williams' masterpiece, "A Streetcar Named Desire" opened on Broadway. While Marlon Brando's brutish Stanley Kowalski got a lot of attention, the play actually focuses on the travails of the DuBois sisters, Stella and Blanche. Blanche DuBois came to represent the epitome of the cracked Southern belle, whose genteel ways cwere no match for the modern world. The role spans a wide emotional range, and has always been catnip for actresses wanting to test their mettle, including Jessica Tandy (the original), Vivien Leigh, Jessica Lange, Ann-Margret, Rachel Weisz, and Cate Blanchett.

In what may - or may not - be a notable event for women, we note in passing that December 1, 1953, saw the publication of the first issue of "Playboy" magazine.

At sundown on Wednesday, Hanukkah begins. This eight day celebration commemorates the rededication of Jerusalem's Second Temple in the 2nd century BCE.

Lastly, we note that December 1 is both World AIDS Day and the Day (With)Out Art. The former is dedicated to raising awareness of AIDS and HIV, while the latter is devoted to the artists who were lost to AIDS and the works of art they never produced.

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"Ceci N'est Pas une Pipe" ... It's a Spark
By Dave Sikula
Fri, November 19, 2010, 12:01 am PST

Rene Magritte's
This may not be a pipe, but it
is the illustration for a Spark
Two events earlier this week couldn't help but remind us of their historical precedents. First, the engagement of Prince William and Kate Middleton made us remember that Friday is the 63rd wedding anniversary of his grandparents, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip. If you were thinking of sending Liz and Phil a present, it's probably not necessary; they're managing to squeeze by, even in this tight economy.

Tuesday's groundbreaking for the George W. Bush Presidential Center at Southern Methodist University in Dallas made us think of November 19, 1939, when Franklin D. Roosevelt laid the cornerstone for the FDR Library and Museum in Hyde Park, New York, on the grounds of the Roosevelt family estate. It was America's first official presidential library. Until then, executive papers were either distributed to the President's families, given to the National Archives, or tossed away. The result was a mess that plagued historians. For example, there are numerous drafts and handwritten copies of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, all of which differ slightly, so that today it's unclear exactly what he said on November 19, 1863, when he delivered the speech to mixed reviews. Democratic newspapers panned it as "silly, flat, and dishwatery," and Republican papers called it "tasteful and elegant." You pays yer money and you takes yer choice, we guess. (Good thing there isn't that kind of partisanship today ...)

Speaking of "paying yer money," we're guessing that more than a few people will be doing just that at the movies this weekend, as the first part of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" opens. We don't know if folks will be lining up for that, or to see the trailer for next summer's Green Lantern" movie, but we're willing to bet that there'll be some who are more interested in space opera than in teenage wizards.

"Green Lantern" is a movie about an interstellar police force. We don't know if their home planet of Oa (or even Mogo, the Green Lantern who is a sentient planet) would be visible using the Hubble Space Telescope, but we do know that Saturday would have been the 121st birthday of Edwin Hubble, the astronomer for whom the telescope is named, and is the 26th anniversary of the founding of the SETI Institute, which searches for extraterrestrial life.

Whether there's anyone else out there is a mystery that SETI is dedicated to solving, but that riddle pales in comparison to the one that gripped America over the summer and fall of 1980, when the country wondered who shot J.R. Ewing. Sunday is the 30th anniversary of the episode of "Dallas" that solved that mystery. It was estimated that 83 million people were tuned in that night, which is still the third-largest TV audience ever. Appropriately, Sunday is also World Television Day, dedicated to the boob tube and all its splendors. (It's also World Hello Day, during which you're supposed to say "Hello" to ten people. But if you're watching television, you probably won't get the chance. Of course, if you've spent Saturday night watching UFC 123 from Auburn Hills, Michigan, and Sunday afternoon watching the NASCAR Ford 400 from the Miami Homestead Speedway, you may be ready to get off the couch and socialize.

Crazed from too much TV? You might try sending birthday greetings to Belgian artist René Magritte. He was born on November 21, 1889, and died in 1967, but his art is so surreal - with trains rushing from fireplaces and apples replacing human heads - that he might appreciate the good wishes anyway. If you're still desperate to make a human connection, you can wish a happy 45th to Bjork, the surrealist Icelandic singer and swan fancier.

We close with week with two holidays: Sunday is Universal Children's Day, created by the United Nations in 1954 to encourage work that benefits and promotes the welfare of the children of the world, and Friday is World Toilet Day, which sounds funny, but promotes clean and sanitary conditions for everyone, child and adult. We are reminded on this day that a straight flush beats a full house.

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Where There's a Will, There's a Walter
By Dave Sikula
Thu, November 4, 2010, 12:01 am PDT

The golden mask of King Tut
"Curse you, King Tut!"
Thursday:

We trade in coincidence again today. For example, it's the birthdays of two of the most beloved and trusted men in American history: Will Rogers (1879) and Walter Cronkite (1916). Rogers began his show business career as a vaudevillian, performing rope tricks that were soon combined with pithy comments on the day's events. He became so popular that he was signed by producer Florenz Ziegfeld to be one of the stars of his annual "Follies." A film career followed, as did a national newspaper column and radio programs, where his opinions were noted for the common-sense truths behind the quips. When he was killed in an Alaskan plane crash in 1935, the nation went into mourning. His hometown of Claremore, Oklahoma, still celebrates him at its annual "Will Rogers Days," which begin today and continue through Saturday.

Cronkite began working on newspapers in high school, and translated his print journalism skills onto radio in the mid 1930s. During World War II, he served as a correspondent for the United Press, often reporting from combat zones. In 1950, he joined the news staff at CBS, and in 1962, became the managing editor and anchorman for the "CBS Evening News," where his unbiased and in-depth reporting of the day’s events won him the title of the "Most Trusted Man in America."

But that's not our only birthday coincidence. On this day in 1946, both Robert Mapplethorpe and Laura Bush were born – and it's hard to imagine two people who could be less alike. Mapplethorpe was a photographer who tried to find art and beauty in the obscene. While his works were condemned for their frank sexual content, it was (and is) hard to deny the beauty of their composition and execution. Laura Bush is the former first lady, who despite the many polarizing opinions her husband's administration sparked, was generally respected for her championship of children's health, education, and literacy. It would be hard to imagine two people less likely to be in the same room blowing out candles on a birthday cake, though.

And tomorrow will mark the 47th birthdays of actors Andrea McArdle and Tatum O'Neal, two women who, despite their starts at child actors, took differing career paths. O'Neal began acting early, turning in an Oscar-winning performance in "Paper Moon" by the age of 10. It's been mostly downhill for her since, though, as she's lived through a busted marriage and various addictions. She still acts, but not at the level she once promised. McArdle also began at the top, when at the age of 14, she was pulled from the chorus to star in the original production of the Broadway musical "Annie" (losing the Tony Award to her co-star Dorothy Louden, who played Annie's nemesis, Miss Hannigan). In the years since, she's worked on- and off-Broadway, touring the country in numerous musicals and plays (and is even currently playing Miss Hannigan in Long Beach, California).

We’re not through, though. Thursday is King Tut Day, commemorating the 1922 discovery of the lost tomb of the Pharaoh Tutankhamen by Egyptologist Howard Carter. The tomb itself was supposed to be cursed, meaning that all who dared to enter it would die horrible deaths, but of the 58 people who were present at the tomb's opening, only eight had died by 1934 – and Carter himself lived until 1939. So much for that "coincidence."

Finally, it's National Candy Day, and if you overindulge, you're likely to meet your dentist – not so coincidentally.

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What a Lovely Prize! It's So Nobel of You!
By Dave Sikula
Mon, October 4, 2010, 12:01 am PDT

Alfred Nobel
Alfred Nobel: "Boom goes
the dynamite!"
Welcome to this the very special Nobel Prize-week edition of The Spark! Let others bask in the sham glow of the Oscars and Emmys. The Nobels are the Big Prizes -- as we'll see as we travel through the week. We're too excited to wait, so let's begin!

Monday:
hile almost nothing can top the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine, which will be awarded today, we'd like to think that National Taco Day comes close. Celebrate medicine by clogging your arteries, we say!

That's not all, though. This week is also World Space Week, commemorating not only the 1957 launch of the Soviet Union's Sputnik I, (the world's first artificial satellite), but also landmarks like SpaceShipOne, which, in 2004, became the first private craft to fly into space, winning the Ansari X Prize.

And don't forget World Animal Day, a day to celebrate all our furry, feathered, and finned friends. (Many of whom them may be uninvited guests in the athletes' village at the Commonwealth Games in New Delhi, India.

Athletes and animals vying for the same living space seems a scenario tailor-made for Buster Keaton, whose 115th birthday we note. Keaton was the greatest of the clowns who populated silent film in the 1910s and 1920s; his physical feats and creativity were seldom equaled. And although his personal life hit the skids in the early '30s, he never stopped working, and he lived long enough to see his films rediscovered in the 1960s, and his genius acknowledged.

Today is also the birthday of writer Damon Runyon (1880). Runyon started out as a street-wise sportswriter, reporter, and columnist in 1920s New York, and he came to know a vast number of characters from all strata of society, from gamblers and con men to socialites and evangelists. He portrayed them in a language all his own, in a series of short stories that paint the Big Apple as a giant amusement park. Those stories were adapted into the musical "Guys and Dolls," which opened in 1950 and became an instant classic.

For all the characters Runyon described, few had the colorful grotesqueness of the cast of "Dick Tracy," the venerable comic strip that made its debut in the Detroit Mirror this day in 1931. Created by writer and artist Chester Gould, Detective Tracy fought such oddities as The Mole, Pruneface, "Itchy" Oliver, and Flattop Jones (not to mention Flattop Jr.). Gould died in 1985, but the strip continues to this day with its unique mix of grotesque villains who meet gruesome deaths. Fun for the whole family!

Not as bizarre -- but with as colorful a cast of characters -- was the Orient Express, the luxury train that ran from Paris to Istanbul starting in 1883. In novels and films, the train's passengers are usually portrayed as committing espionage, blackmail, murder, or any number of other unsavory exploits. While the original train stopped running in 2009, a private company picked up both the route and the rail cars -- although nowadays the full route is offered only twice a year.

We were going to remark that, if any of those characters on the Orient Express gets too nefarious, the Supreme Court is back in session today and could take care of them. But of course, the Court has no jurisdiction in Europe, so the point is moot.

The Court does have jurisdiction in South Dakota, where, in 1927, the first carving began on Mount Rushmore. Over the decades, there have been calls for other presidents to join Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, and Theodore Roosevelt, but those petitioners are out of luck, since there's no more rock that can be sculpted.

Tuesday:

Today's Nobel category: physics. Who will follow in the footsteps of Einstein, Bohr, and the Curies?

Today's birthdays: Larry Fine (1902), the most valuable of the Three Stooges, who provided the necessary buffer between Moe and Curly, Shemp, Joe, and Curly Joe. Ray Kroc (also 1902), the milkshake-machine salesman who, became the head of McDonald's and terrorized untold millions of cows. In 1922, cartoonist Bil Keane was born. Keane created "The Family Circus." Even though the strip has long since been taken over by Jeff Keane (the red-haired, oval-headed one), it has spawned innumerable parodies and is both loved and loathed by millions.

Not realy "birthdays," but also making their debuts today were "Monty Python's Flying Circus" (which premiered on the BBC in 1969) and the first of the James Bond films, "Dr. No," which opened in 1962. (Let it be noted that Sean Connery was not the first Bond, though. Barry Nelson portrayed American secret agent "Jimmy Bond" in a 1954 television adaptation of "Casino Royale.")

And not exactly a "debut," but something to be noted is that October 5 is the most common birthday in the United States. That makes sense, since it would mean that most of those children were conceived on New Year's Eve. (We'll let you do the rest of the math ...)

All those children need education, so it's appropriate that Tuesday is also World Teachers Day.

Wednesday:

This time of year, it's hard to not think of baseball, especially with the Major League playoffs beginning today, so it's fortunate that there are two baseball-related events. In 1880, the Cincinnati Red Stockings were kicked out of the National League for selling beer. (Hard to imagine any franchise today going without beer sales.) And speaking of "going without," in 1945, restaurateur Billy Sianis and his pet billy goat were ejected from Wrigley Field during Game 4 of the World Series. Sianis took the occasion to curse the team, which went on to lose the Series -- to which the team has never since returned. (The Cubs, of course, won their last world championship in 1908.)

A winning team needs chemistry, which is perhaps why the Nobel Committee chose today to award the prize for that discipline. (We're hoping to win the Nobel for strained transitions.)

For those not so interested in baseball, but who are still looking for a pastime, we offer Balloons Around the World, dedicated to those artists who twist and sculpt inflated rubber bladders. If balloons don't tickle your fancy, you might head to Dallas, where the Fall Toy Preview opens, giving consumers and retailers a clue as to what will be the hot toys this holiday season. We have to wonder what will be this year's Cabbage Patch Kid, the red-hot can't-get-it doll that debuted 27 years ago tomorrow.

If toys and balloons aren't your speed, you might screen "The Jazz Singer," to commemorate its 1927 opening. The film wasn't the first talking picture by any means, but the combination of Al Jolson and its story proved a powerhouse that was the death-knell for silent movies. If musicals aren't your speed, how about a movie starring Bette Davis? Davis may well have been the greatest actress in the history of the movies, garnering 11 Academy Award nominations (winning two), whose career spanned the decades from 1931 until her death on this day in 1989.

Davis did a couple of Broadway musicals (which is unfortunate, given her overall lack of a voice), but neither of their scores made the "Great American Songbook," so you’'ll have to depend on Michael Feinstein, whose PBS series on the Songbook begins airing tonight.

Thursday:

Birthdays of the day:

1859: Thomas J. Wise. Wise was one of England's foremost bibliographic experts, who made a fortune selling rare books and first editions for outrageous prices. The books Wise sold were rare and first editions, but not in the way he alleged. The fact was that he forged most of them. (None of them, of course, would have been alleged to be by the winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature, which will be announced today.)

Rssian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin turns 58 today. We assume he'll pose shirtless and perform feats of strength, as is his wont. We further assume he won't don a black t-shirt and try to make his biceps look huge, as does today's other birthday boy, Simon Cowell, born in 1959.

And please, if you would, take a moment on this, the ninth anniversary of the US invasion of Afghanistan, to reflect on all the lives lost and changed forever.

Friday:

The late Harvey Pekar would have turned 71 today. Pekar's comic series "American Splendor" gave new life to the independent comics movement, as he turned his mundane daily life into art.

Not so arty are the books of R.L. Stine, who was born in 1943. Stine and his innumerable ghost writers have turned out scores of young adult horror novels designed to scare kids and throw parents into throes of agony because their children aren't reading better books.


In movies, actress Sigourney Weaver turns 61 (and it's a damn fine-looking 61, we may add), and the biopic of Secretariat opens, just four days after the 21st anniversary of his death. Secretariat was probably the greatest racehorse of all time, whose athleticism and personality won him millions of fans -- and many of whose racing records still stand, decades after they were set.

One of the few awards Secretariat did not receive was the Nobel Peace Prize, which will be announced today.

Saturday:

Something for everyone today. It's the birthday of Lt. Col. Alfred Dreyfus (1859), the French Army officer who was falsely convicted of treason, and whose imprisonment on Devil's Island sparked international outrage and exposed a vast strain of anti-Semitism running through France's government and society.

For the more sensationally-minded, it's the 120th birthday of evangelist Aimee Semple McPherson. "Sister Aimee" was a circus in herself, exhibiting equal measures of religious fervor and a genius for self-promotion -- to the point where she faked her own kidnapping in 1926. Over the decades, though, her fame faded, and she died of an accidental overdose of Seconal in 1944. (And, coincidentally, a television film was made about her fake kidnapping that starred Bette Davis as her mother.)

As loud and boisterous as McPherson was, Jacques Tati (1909) was silent. Tati was a French writer/actor/director who achieved worldwide fame with his comedies featuring himself as the befuddled Monsieur Hulot, a gentle and quiet man who was baffled by the modern world. In December, "The Illusionist," based on an unproduced screenplay of his, will open in the U.S. -- starring a animated version of Tati.

For the adventurous, Kona, Hawaii, will today feature the Ironman Triathlon World Championships, wherein competitors will take on a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike race, and a 26.2-mile run -- and then ask for more.

If that sounds too strenuous, you might want to take a trip to Manhattan, where the ice rink at Rockefeller Center will open. Seems a bit early to be taking part in winter sports, but we suppose anything is possible in New York.

Of course, even skating may seem a bit much for some, so we'll just remind them that it's Moldy Cheese Day, devoted to the tasting and enjoyment of smelly fromage -- the smellier and moldier, the better.

Lastly, we note with sadness that, had history run a different course, we'd be celebrating the 70th birthday of the late Beatle John Lennon and the 30 years of music we've been robbed of because of his untimely murder.

Sunday:

To end the week, we suggest you dig out your fancy duds to celebrate Tuxedo Day, which marks the anniversary of the tuxedo dinner jacket making its debut in New York City in 1886. The coat got its origins when the members of the exclusive Tuxedo Club in Tuxedo Park, NY (and you wondered how the coat got its name ...) began looking for a new style of jacket that was less formal than a cutaway but was still dressy.

If you’'re in a mood to travel, you might take your tux and head to London for the grand reopening of the Savoy Hotel. The Savoy originally opened in 1899 and was the last word in luxury and opulence, featuring electric lights and elevators, and bathrooms with hot and cold running water inside most of the room. The hotel's been closed since 2007 while it's undergone a $350 million renovation, which promises to bring it into the 21stst century and beyond.

If London sounds a bit expensive, you might try traveling to Pyongyang to celebrate North Korea's Party Foundation. After all, it's the 65thth anniversary of the founding of Workers Party of Korea. If you run into Kim Jong Il, you might give him a lovely cake (since it's National Cake Decorating Day) -- though you might likelier be reminded that it's World Mental Health Day. But the Dear Leader isn't the only reminder of the varying degrees of mental well-being. For example, today would have been the 86thth birthday of film director Ed Wood. Wood is generally considered to be the worst director who ever lived, and his masterpiece, "Plan 9 from Outer Space," is thought to be one of the worst movies ever made. (We've seen worse, personally.) Wood was less mentally unstable than he was incompetent, so who else might we think of when speaking of poor mental health?

How about the good citizens of Lake Havasu City, Arizona, who bought and dismantled London Bridge, moved it to their desert town, and reopened it on this day in 1971? Or the well-meaning folks who'll be traveling to Ashton, England, for the World Conker Championships? What is conkers?, you may ask. It's a game where two players take horse-chestnut seeds, run stringa through them, and then swing them at an opponent's conker. The first player to break the other's seed wins. We don't get it, but they love it.

Our final note for the week is to call attention to the day's date: 10/10/10.

10+10+10=30, and "-30-” is the old newspaperman's code for the end of a story, which we'll take as our cue.

See you next time!

-30-


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It's All Showbiz, Kid
By Dave Sikula
Mon, September 20, 2010, 12:01 am PDT

Jack LaLanne
Jack LaLanne at a mere 92 --
and he could still take you one-handed
It's nearly Autumn! So won't you join The Spark as we fall into the week's events?

Monday:

You'd think something from the 17th century that's been confirmed by every reliable scientist for the past 400 years would be over and done with, wouldn't you? On this day in 1633, astronomer Galileo Galilei was tried by the Vatican for teaching that the Earth orbits the Sun. Well, even though the Catholic Church eventually apologized to Signor Galilei (albeit in 1992), there are still some folks beating the drums for geocentrism. "plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose," we guess.

Galileo's trial wasn’t the only event related to stirring things up on this day, though. In 1878, Upton Sinclair was born. His muckraking and provocative style evidenced itself over nearly 100 books, the most notorious of which, "The Jungle," exposed the horrors of the meat-packing industry, and led in great part to the 1906 passing of the Pure Food and Drug and Meat Inspection Acts.

In 1885, Ferdinand "Jelly Roll" Morton was born. Morton was many things, including, a pianist, bandleader, and composer, but is best known for his spurious claims to have invented jazz.

1947 saw the death of New York's mayor, Fiorello La Guardia. The "Little Flower" was that rarest of animals nowadays, a progressive Republican who cleaned up the vast network of corruption in Big Apple politics. He wasn't a reformer 24/7, though, in that he was known to leave business matters at the drop of a hat to hop onto a passing fire truck, and in 1945, when a strike stopped newspapers from being printed, he read the comic section on the radio so readers could keep up with the action.

Cartoon director Jay Ward would have turned 90 today. His off-kilter sense of humor leant itself to such classic shows as "The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle," "Hoppity Hooper," and "George of the Jungle."

But let's not forget the ladies today. Legendary actress Sophia Loren turns 76 today, and tomorrow is the 29th anniversary of Sandra Day O'Connor being approved unanimously approved by the U.S. Senate as the first female Supreme Court justice, and in 1973, Billie Jean King struck a blow for feminists everywhere when she beat Bobby Riggs in straight sets in "The Battle of the Sexes" tennis match at Houston"s Astrodome. Of course, the 30-year-old King had an age advantage over the 55-year-old Riggs, and the whole thing was little more than a massive publicity stunt, but it was still good theatre.

Speaking of theatre, in 1994, songwriter Jule Styne died. Over his nearly 70-year career, he wrote more than 2,000 songs (of which the New York Times estimated that 200 were hits) and 29 musicals, some of which -- most notably "Gyspy" and "Funny Girl" -- are among the greatest achievement of the musical theatre. He was also nominted for nine Academy Awards, finally winning for "Three Coins in the Fountain" in 1953.

Not so notable, though. is "Dancing with the Stars," which begins its new season tonight, as does the new incarnation of "Hawaii Five-O;" though without Jack Lord -- and his hair -- we don't know if it'll be able to suvrive. (They are keeping the classic theme song, though.) Maybe the brainiacs participating in the 2010 Chess Olympiad in Khanty Mansiysk, Russia, will be able to figure that one out.

Tuesday:

Tougher to figure out is the case of comedian Milton Berle. In 1948, Berle was made the regular host of "The Texaco Star Theater." Almost overnight, Berle became the biggest star on television, sparking the sale of millions of TV sets as Americans clamored to see what "Uncle Miltie" would do next. He was so popular, in fact, that NBC signed him to a lifetime contract -- a contract that expired in 1978, 24 years before Berle's actual death.

Turning to sports, we see that today is both the 40th anniversary of the debut of "Monday Night Football" as well as being Miniature Golf Day. It's also the 60th birthday of avid golfer and Chicago Cubs fan Bill Murray.

Lots of literary doings today. In 1866, H.G. Wells was born. Wells is today best remembered for his science fiction novels like "The War of the Worlds" and "The Invisible Man," but he was also a historian and social critic and commentator. Why movie producer Jerry Bruckheimer, who turns 65 today, has never made one of Wells's novels into a blockbuster film we don't know. For that matter, we have to wonder why he's never made a film of one of Stephen King's books. After all, they share a birthday -- though King is two years younger.

We should be thankful, though that Bruckheimer never turned Virginia O'Hanlon's letter to the New York Sun asking if there was a Santa Claus (published on this day in 1897) into a mammoth summer movie -- though we suppose massive explosions don't really lend themselves to stories featuring eight-year-old Victorian girls. It's actually better fodder for an animated feature, perhaps one directed by Chuck Jones, born in 1912, and considered by many to be the greatest of all cartoon directors. His "Duck Amuck," "One Froggy Evening," and "What's Opera, Doc?" are usually considered three of the finest cartoons ever made.

Wednesday:

For that matter, we have to wonder why there’s never been a movie version of the life of Revolutionary War spy Nathan Hale. Seems like there’s enough adventure there to fill out a movie, but maybe the unhappy ending -- he was caught and hanged on this day in 1776 -- put the kibosh on those plans. Still, with such a killer final line ("I regret I have but one life to lose for my country"), you’d get an interesting ending. Perhaps it would have been an interesting subject for birthday boy Erich von Stroheim (1885), but given Stroheim's excesses (the first cut of his 1924 silent film "Greed" ran sixteen hours), perhaps that's not such a good idea.

Speaking of spies, we note in passing that, in 1964, "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." debuted on NBC (much to the delight of "Mad Men's" Sally Draper, we presume).

If only Hale had lived another seven years, he might have seen Russia establishing a colony at Kodiak, Alaska in 1784 -- an event which definitely allowed what Alaskans there were to see Russia from their houses. Such an event might have been fodder for the National Geographic Magazine, except it didn't begin publishing until more than a century later, in 1888. And if any of those Russian colonists had injured themselves, well, they just would have been out of luck, since Band-Aids weren’t invented until this day in 1921. (Need we mention that Band-Aid, like Kleenex, Xerox, Aspirin, Zipper, and even Heroin, is a trademarked name?)

Beginnings and endings today: The Queen Mary began her last Atlantic crossing in 1967 on its way to Long Beach, CA, where it floats today as a hotel and tourist attraction. (The ship had made her maiden voyage on September 26, 1934, so we're pretty sure the date of the finale was intentional.)

Not quite as regal, but still a movie queen was Marion Davies, who died on this day in 1961. The longtime companion/mistress of newspaper mogul William Randolph Hearst, Davies was a huge star in the 1920s. A talented comedienne, Hearst forced Davies to play dramatic parts before she finally retired from the screen in 1937. Unfortunately for her, she was the model of Susan Alexander Kane in Orson Welles's "Citizen Kane." The comparison is unfortunate because Davies, unlike Mrs. Kane, was actually talented, smart, and witty -- but history will forever associate them together.

In 2007, Marcel Marceau died. Marceau was one of the world's great mimes, and while street mimes have given the art form a bad name, artists like Marceau were able to translate human emotions into wordless vignettes of joy, pain, love, and hate that anyone in any country could understand and empathize with.

If Jule Styne's nine Oscar nominations seem a lot, consider the case of Harry Warren, who died in 1981. Over the course of his long career, Warren was nominated for 11, and won three. A list of his hits would be as long as your arm, from "Jeepers Creepers" and "Chattanooga Choo-Choo" (the first record to sell a million copies) to "We’re in the Money" and "42nd Street." For all his success, though, he was relatively unknown, even in his heyday.

As unknown as Warren was, Irving Berlin, who died in 1989 at the age of 101 was as famous as anyone in America -- and possibly the most successful songwriter of all time. From 1911, when his first hit, "Alexander’s Ragtime Band" made him world famous, to 1961, when his last musical, "Mr. President" flopped, he wrote more than 1,500 songs, the very minimum mention of which would include "Easter Parade" "White Christmas," "There's No Business Like Show Business" and "God Bless America." Jerome Kern (no slouch at songwriting himself), said of him, "Irving Berlin has no place in American music -- he is American music."

Enough of the farewells, though. Tonight, "Hell's Kitchen" returns, and we predict that chef Gordon Ramsey will swear, call someone a "donkey," and throw someone out of his kitchen in a fit of rage. If it gets too violent, we can be sure that the new police officers and ADAs of "Law & Order: Los Angeles" will be there to ensure justice is done. Ramsey's fits may seem the work of a madman, but we can be assures he’s (probably) sane, much like Joaquin Phoenix, who returns to David Letterman's show tonight to prove that his last bizarre appearance was merely a pose for his latest movie.

We're usually pretty good at linking things and finding tenuous connections between events, but we'll present these three to you and hope you can find a connection. Today is not only Elephant Appreciation Day (and who wouldn't appreciate an World Carfree Day (not "Free Car" Day, mind you), as well as being Ice Cream Cone Day.

Thursday:

A slew of birthdays. Baroness Emmuska Orczy was born in 1865. The baroness created something that is invaluable to many writers today. She invented the secret identity. In her novel "The Scarlet Pimpernel," Sir Percy Blakeney is, to all the world, an ineffectual fop. But to the terrorized rulers of post-revolutionary France, he is an avenging angel, rescuing otherwise helpless aristocrats. All right, it's not exactly Clark Kent and Superman, but it is a trope that writers have happily used in the years since.

In 1865, Mary Mallon was born. Mallon was better known as "Typhoid Mary" for her uncanny ability to carry the typhoid virus without herself becoming ill. Unfortunately, she worked as a cook and housemaid and spread the disease, killing two and making dozens ill before being forced to spend the final 23 years of her life in isolation.

In more current birthdays, we have Ray Charles (1930), quite possibly the hippest man who ever lived, and Mickey Rooney, who turns 90 today, and while probably not hip, is certainly hale and hearty, currently working on his 73rd year in the movie business. He was one of the top stars in the '30s and '40s, and has four movies out in 2010 and another scheduled for next year. He's the Energizer Bunny of actors. Speaking of ageless performers, Bruce Springsteen is 61 today and still performs with the energy of a man half his age.

Entertainment anniversaries: 1953 saw the premiere of "The Robe," the first movie made in CinemaScope (another trademarked name!) CinemaScope was hardly the first widescreen format (1930’s "The Big Trail" was made in a 70mm process called "Grandeur," but it was the first one that stuck. Movie studios, disturbed that people were staying at home and watching television, had to come up with a gimmick that audiences could get only in a theatre; hence, the big, big screen. Of course, if entertainment was going to be like "The Jetsons," which premiered in prime time in 1962 (ABC's first series in color, by the way), maybe movie moguls only had to wait for TV shows (like 1962's "The Beverly Hillbillies," 1964's "The Munsters" and "Gilligan's Island," and 1967's "The Brady Bunch," all of which premiered this weekend) that would drive folks out of their homes and back to the movies. (Although 1968 brought us "60 Minutes," so it's not a total loss.)

Not that television has gotten any better. NBC's "Outsourced" premieres tonight, set in an Indian call center, we have to wonder if any of the characters were fired by Donald Trump, whose "Apprentice" makes its return, as well. And if you can't stand those, there's always "CSI," featuring a guest appearance by teen heartthrob Justin Bieber, whom we sincerely hope plays a murder victim. If comedy is your preference, though, you might want to dig up a copy of Richard Nixon's 1952 "Checkers" speech, wherein the then-Vice Presidential candidate made a maudlin speech to defend himself from bribery charges, admitting that yes, he’d accepted a cocker spaniel puppy named "Checkers," but that he wouldn't be giving up the dog, which his daughters loved.

In 1806, Lewis and Clark returned to St. Louis after two years of exploring the Pacific Northwest, just in time for the Autumnal Equinox, which marks, of course, the 3/4 point in the year, and the beginning of fall.

Friday:

Two civil rights landmarks today. In 1957, President Dwight D. Eisenhower sent the 101st Airborne Division into Little Rock, Arkansas, to enforce the desegregation of Central High School, and in 1962, the United States Court of Appeals ordered the University of Mississippi to admit James Meredith as its first African-American student.

In 1896, writer F. Scott Fitzgerald was born. Fitzgerald chronicled the Roaring Twenties in such novels as "The Great Gatsby" and "The Beautiful and Damned," and was soon tempted by the bright lights of Hollywood, where he worked as a frustrated screenwriter. Even though he contributed to many, many scripts (including "Gone With the Wind"), he received only one screen credit (for 1938's "Three Comrades." Seeing that today is Fitzgerald's birthday and tomorrow is that of William Faulkner, we guess it's somehow appropriate that it's also National Punctuation Day. Faulkner toiled in Hollywood, too, but is best known for his long and dense novels set in the fictional Yoknapatawpha County of Mississippi. Like Fitzgerald, he was an alcoholic, but managed to survive to 1962 (Fitzgerald had died in 1940) and was awarded the Nobel Prize in 1949. We have the feeling that many high school students would like to violate the spirit of Banned Books Week (which begins tomorrow) by removing their works from the curriculum, but we would disagree.

In the oddity file, 1947 supposedly saw the establishment of the Majestic 12 committee by President Harry Truman. The committee was allegedly organized to investigate UFO activity in the wake of the Roswell incident in New Mexico. The only problem is that there's no evidence that the committee ever actually existed -- which, in conspiracist's minds, is probably the surest evidence it existed.

As weird as the aliens who visited Roswell were (assuming they existed) are the creatures created by Jim Henson, the Muppet master who was born in 1936.

Saturday:

In 1690, "Publick Occurrences Both Foreign and Domestick," the first newspaper to appear in the Americas, was published for the first -- and only -- time. Whether it was due to bad copy-editing, we don't know.

Today's birthdays include two actors who portrayed movie superheroes: Mark Hamill (1951) and Christopher Reeve (1952). (We were surprised to realize Hamill was older.) Mark portrayed Luke Skywalker, the would-be Jedi with father issues, and Reeve was obviously best known as Superman. Hamill's career has continued to the present, most notably as The Joker in "Batman: The Animated Series," where Reeve's was cut short by his 1995 equestrian accident that paralyzed him from the neck down. His charity, the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation, is still dedicated to finding treatments and cures for paralysis caused by spinal cord injuries.

Heroes of even another sort will appear in Indianapolis when UFC 119 begins and big slabs of beef will try to pound each other into submission, a tactic that would most assuredly not be approved by birthday boy Shel Silverstein (1930), whose wicked wit has enlivened many a childhood (and adulthood, for that matter).

It's also National One Hit Wonder Day, dedicated to those whose fame came and went in the twinkling of an eye, a description that would not apply to Barbara Walters, who, born in 1929, has been appearing on American television screens since 1961.

Sunday:

In 1774, John Chapman, aka "Johnny Appleseed," was born. Chapman was an early conservationist, who walked across colonial America, spreading, yes, apple seeds, vegetarianism, and a gospel of ecology and health.

In 1871, Winsor McCay was born. The father of the American animated cartoon, McCay was a cartoonist and draftsman almost without peer, whose idea that drawings projected in sequence could give the illusion of movement created a billion-dollar industry.

1872 saw the opening of the first Shriner's Temple in New York City. We have to wonder what Shriners rode around in before those little cars were invented.

In 1898, Jacob Gershowitz was born in Brooklyn. When he was 17, he published his first song as George Gershwin, and American music has never been the same. To this day, his songs are the backbone of the "Great American Songbook," and have been recorded and performed countless times. If he wrote nothing else, his opera "Porgy and Bess" would stand out at the greatest achievement in the history of the musical theatre. (There are some who would claim that place for "West Side Story," which opened in 1957. These people are wrong.)

In 1902, Levi Strauss died. His fame can be judged when you count the number of people who have had articles of clothing after them at all, let alone their first names.

Jack LaLanne was born in 1914, and he's still going strong. At 96, he still starts every morning with a brisk 90-minute session in the weight room, followed by a half hour walking or swimming. His lifelong commitment to health and fitness is a model to anyone of any age. He once said that he can't die, since it'd be bad for his image. We wouldn't bet against him.

We end this week by going from the sublime to the ridiculous. On CBS, "The Amazing Race" returns for its latest season, offering contestants the chance to see the world while humiliating themselves and suffering from killer fatigue.

On the other hand, over on Fox, the cast of "Glee" will guest on "The Simpsons." One show that's downright annoying and another that's long since passed its sell-by date. But, hey, that's showbiz!

And on that note, we bid you a fond adieu until next time.

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