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 Kirk Douglas in 1956. The dimple in his chin is so deep it has its own gift shop. |
Don't they say that doing what you love keeps you young? If they don't, they ought to, as the lives of some of the celebrities we note this week stand as living proof of the connection between doing what you do and a long lifespan.
We'll start with the "babies" of the group, Christopher Plummer and Dick Van Dyke, who turn 81 and 85 respectively on Friday. Plummer and Van Dyke have pretty much done it all in their time, from dramas to farces to musicals Plummer's classical theatre chops are a little more developed, but Van Dyke's sitcom of the 1960s is still recognized as one of the finest and most influential ever, so we'll call it a draw.
Next on our list is spring chicken Eli Wallach, who turns 95 on Tuesday. Wallach began his acting career in the 1950s, with a series of performances out of the Method school of acting that so pervaded that decade. The "Method" (which has been over-hyped and misunderstood almost from the beginning) was a school of acting that emphasized personalized and naturalistic behavior on stage and screen, breaking away from the more florid or theatrical styles that had been the norm. Its foremost proponents were actors like Wallach, Marlon Brando, and James Dean, but a modified version of it is still seen in the performances of Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, and Al Pacino. Getting back to our birthday boy, Wallach is still working, having acted in two movies this year, with (his health permitting) more on the way.
The champ, though, is Kirk Douglas, who turns 96 on Thursday. Douglas hit the screen like a thunderbolt in the late 1940s, and for the next 50 years, turned in a series of dynamic and artful performances that have few rivals for energy and power. He's also been outspoken in his politics, breaking Hollywood's blacklist by employing writers who went unhired because of their politics. The stroke he suffered in 1996 has impaired his ability to speak, but he continues to work, and as recently as 2009 appeared in an autobiographical one-man show.
Those aren’t the only events of note, of course. Why, Tuesday alone brings us the announcement of Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year (it's New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees), the lighting of the U.S. Capitol's Christmas tree (the White House gets its turn on Thursday, the day after President Obama appears on "MythBusters"), the Luxury Travel Expo in Las Vegas (for those of you who have so much extra money you can't help but spend it on travel), and National Cotton Candy Day.
Wednesday is chock-a-block with events, too, particularly with birthdays of artists and humorists. In the former category, we have Diego Rivera (1886), the Mexican painter whose intricate and detailed murals were loaded with historical and political commentary. In the latter, we have two men whose work spans both categories and who were born on the same day in 1894. First, we have James Thurber, whose art defined the cartooning style of "The New Yorker," and whose short stories, including "The Catbird Seat" and "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" remain as perceptive and witty as when they were written. 1894's other multi-talented contribution is Elzie Segar, the cartoonist who created Popeye the Sailor. Segar created a unique world of comic adventures and characters that has rarely been equaled. Since his death in 1938, numerous ghosts have tried to keep the wackiness of his comic strip alive, but none have succeeded in finding his balance of thrills and laughs.
We close by remembering two tragedies, one markedly larger than the other. Wednesday is the 30th anniversary of the murder of John Lennon in front of New York's Dakota Apartments. Lennon was only 40 years old, and was just resuming his music career when he was struck down, forever robbing the world of his humor and songs.
The larger commemoration, is the anniversary of the December 7, 1941, bombing of the Pearl Harbor naval base in Hawaii, an even which brought the United States into World War II. The sneak attack by the Japanese cost the U.S. more than a dozen ships and 2,042 lives. When President Franklin D. Roosevelt addressed Congress the next morning, he called it "a date which will live in infamy," and it remains a date whose memory still resonates today.
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On Tuesday, we noted Hedy Lamarr's patent of a communications system, but on this day in 1930, a scientist you'd expect to get a patent got one -- but for an invention you wouldn't associate with him. It's no surprise that Albert Einstein would be granted a patent, but what is surprising (to us, anyway) is that he and fellow physicist Leo Szilard (who devised the nuclear chain reaction that made the atomic bomb possible) were granted patent number US1781541 for a refrigerator. As you might expect, it’s a special refrigerator that uses no electricity, has no moving parts, and needs only a heat source to operate, but still – Einstein invented a fridge?
As we think about refrigerators, we’re reminded that we'd better start making room in our own for Thanksgiving (and just how in the world did it get to be November already?). Contemplating Turkey Day, brings the pilgrims to mind, and today is the 290th anniversary of the Puritans sighting land off of Cape Cod, Massachusetts.
Something that would have utterly baffled those pilgrims is Pee-wee Herman, so we don’t expect to see any puritans at the Broadway opening of "The Pee-wee Herman Show" tonight. But, Pee-wee's fan base being what it is, you never know ...
Someone we think might have appreciated Pee-wee, or, at least, appreciated his anarchic spirit, was novelist Kurt Vonnegut, born on this day in 1922. Vonnegut used black humor and satire in such novels as "Slaughterhouse-Five," "Mother Night," and "Cat's Cradle" to eviscerate modern American society, politics, and organized religion.
We don't know if Mr. Vonnegut ever traveled Route 66, the "Mother Road" that ran (according to Bobby Troup's song) "from Chicago to L.A.; more than 2,000 miles along the way." The highway was established on this day in 1926, and until its decommissioning in 1985, carried millions of travelers though the heart of America, allowing them (for the first time in many cases) to see peoples they never would have met, eat strange local foods, and become more acquainted with the mosaic that was pre-war America. It's still possible to drive Route 66, but in many cases, the road is untended and in bad repair, and many of the small towns and businesses that thrived fin its heyday shut their doors when it was replaced by gleaming new interstate freeways.
The most notable events of this day are inextricably linked. In 1918, on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month, World War I finally ended after more than four years of senseless battle, with 16 million soldiers and civilians killed and another 21 million wounded. Starting in 1919, November 11 has been designated either Armistice Day (in honor of the cause of peace) or Veterans Day (honoring all who have served in the armed forces).
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 "I say, Jeeves; this 'Spark' thing is a bit of a rum go, isn't it?" "Actually, sir, I believe it's a rather useful compendium of Internet links." "Nonsense, Jeeves; there's nothing useful on the Internet."
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Now that it's officially autumn (in the Northern Hemisphere, anyway), events seem to be calming down as we prepare for the long winter hibernation. But don't think for a minute that nothing's going on. For example:
Monday:
In 1759, Mason Weems was born. Although he studied theology and became a parson in the Episcopal Church, we remember him best for his 1800 "History of the Life and Death, Virtues and Exploits of General George Washington." The book was less a biography than a collection of exaggerations and falsehoods -- most notably the story of six-year-old George cutting down one of his father's cherry trees,then confessing to the crime. The book was popular in its time, but has been debunked in the centuries since.
It's a day to celebrate politicians, such as the 126th birthday of Eleanor Roosevelt. Mrs. Roosevelt was the wife of Franklin D. Roosevelt, and the first lady of the land for some 12 years, During her time in the White House, she fought tirelessly for liberal causes and human rights, continuing her work after her husband's death, as both a United States delegate to the United Nations, and as chair of the U.N. Commission on Human Rights. Not that she couldn't have fun, or take time out to appear on quiz shows or to hawk margarine on television.
And it's the 35th wedding anniversary of Bill and Hillary Rodham Clinton. (Hint to Bill: the 35th is the coral or jade anniversary). Little did the Clintons know that their wedding night would coincide with the premiere of "Saturday Night Live," a program that would, in the decades to come, poke endless fun at both of them.
Remember last week when we were all aquiver over the Nobel Prizes being announced? Well, the festivities conclude today with the announcement of the winner of the Prize for Economics. Economics being an inexact science, this is the only one of the prizes not founded by Alfred Nobel, having been established by the Bank of Sweden in 1969.
What better way to celebrate winning a Nobel than by having a huge Thanksgiving feast? Think it's too early for Thanksgiving? Not if you're in Canada, where today is Turkey Day, thanks to their earlier harvests. And leftover turkey makes a great sandwich, perfect for National School Lunch Week, which begins today.
Finally, and more seriously, in light of the recent "It Gets Better" project, we note that today is National Coming Out Day, on which we celebrate our lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered friends and family members and their fight for equality. Sadly, tomorrow is the 12th anniversary the death of Matthew Shepard, who was tortured to death solely for being gay.
Tuesday:
Not so interested in equality was the Roman emperor Nero, who ascended to the throne on this day in 54. While Nero was, by all accounts, a tyrant and a dictator, he is likely best known for the apocryphal scenes of him fiddling or playing the lyre while Rome burned in a fire that destroyed a good portion of the city – a tale that's as false as the one about Washington and the cherry tree -- or the myths that Paul McCartney suffered a premature death.
The "Paul is Dead" craze began when a group of Drake University students uncovered a series of "clues" they thought had been planted by the Beatles to indicate McCartney had died. On this day in 1969, they persuaded WKNR DJ Russ Gibb to play "Revolution #9" backward in order to reveal its supposedly masked message of "Turn me on, dead man."
Some notable TV anniversaries today. Most important to us is the 1950 premiere of "The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show." While Burns and Allen were one of the top acts in vaudeville, movies, and radio, their television show was their most important contribution to show business. Decades ahead of its time, the show featured such innovations as George talking directly to the audience about the plot of the episode (which he generally found out about by watching the program -- as it was taking place -- on the television in his den, and replacing actors in mid-scene with other actors playing the same part. All of it was highlighted by Gracie's unique form of humor, which combined a lovable dimness with an inability to see beyond the literal meanings of words.
In 1953, "The Bob Hope Show" began its 20-year run on NBC, as America's favorite comedian traded quips and appeared in skits with the country’s top movie stars, athletes, and personalities.
1978 saw the premiere of "Sneak Previews," the first national iteration of the many shows featuring film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert battling each other over which movies were any good. Those that were were awarded the coveted "two thumbs up" rating. Those that weren’t were usually greeted by Aroma the Educated Skunk or Spot the Wonder Dog, who highlighted the "stinker" or "dog" of the week.
We can assume that such a dismal fate would not await either the nominees for the Man Booker Prize, awarded each year to the best English-language novel written by a citizen of the British Commonwealth (the winner of which will be announced today), or those hoping for a National Book Award, the finalists for which will be announced tomorrow.
Those who are afraid they won’t get either a nomination or an award can take comfort in knowing that tomorrow is National Face Your Fears Day. Buck up and wait till next year!
You’d think a holiday would be anything but controversial, but today is Columbus Day (even if the banks were closed yesterday), and the "discoverer of America" is anything but universally hailed, especially by Native American groups.
Wednesday:
Only three events of note today, but none of them are without interest.
First of all, today is the 235th anniversary of the founding of the United States Navy.
It's also National Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day, in the hopes that having a stuffed friend nearby will relieve some of your workplace stress.
And speaking of stress, it was four years ago today that the Six Flags theme park in Gurnee, Illinois held a live cockroach eating contest. If only they'd waiting until the 14th, they could have made the competition part of National Chocolate Covered Insect Day or even National Dessert Day. Yum!
Thursday:
We mentioned that last week was the anniversary of the start of the carving of Mount Rushmore, and we have to wonder, given today's anniversary, whether Theodore Roosevelt could have done all the sculpting by himself, using only his bare hands. Why? On this date in 1912, while campaigning in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Roosevelt was shot at point blank range. Fortunately, a metal glasses case and the speech he was supposed to deliver was folded in his breast pocket and took most of the impact. Even with a fresh flesh wound and the bullet still in him, TR still delivered the speech. They don't make 'em like that anymore.
Speaking of unique individuals, today is the birthday of actress Lillian Gish. Born in 1893, Miss Gish began her film career in 1912, working with pioneering director D.W. Griffith, and kept working until 1987’s "The Whales of August." Her career spanned virtually the entire history of cinema. While it might seem impossible that one woman could have been in both 1915’s "The Birth of a Nation" and an episode of "The Love Boat" 65 years later, Miss Gish did it!
Miss Gish even did live TV (there was no other kind in the 1950s, after all), and NBC's "30 Rock" will revive that artform tonight, with a special live episode from Rockefeller Center’s Studio 8H, normally the home of "Saturday Night Live."
As unique as Theodore Roosevelt, Lillian Gish, and live television is "Winnie-the-Pooh," the children’s classic by A.A. Milne, first published on this day in 1926.
Friday:
Speaking of characters, we note quite a few of them today. For example, Grace Bedell, the eleven-year-old girl who wrote Abraham Lincoln on this date in 1860, suggesting that he grow a beard because "all the ladies like whiskers and they would tease their husbands to vote for you and then you would be President." Whether or not Lincoln took the advice seriously, he did start growing a beard within a month and was indeed elected.
Then there's P.G. Wodehouse, born in 1881. Wodehouse wrote some of the funniest novels ever penned (many of which featured the hopelessly dim Bertie Wooster and his invaluable valet, Jeeves) and was also a talented songwriter, who worked with composer Jerome Kern to, more or less, create the American musical.
And let us not forget Jack the Ripper (there's a transition!), who in 1888, sent his letter "From Hell" to the police investigating his murders.
Speaking of death, superspy Mata Hari met hers on this day in 1917. Even though she had lured many a man to his doom during World War I, she met her own end before a firing squad.
Of course, the entire world nearly met its end in 1962, as the Cuban Missile Crisis began. The Soviet Union had deployed nuclear missiles in Cuba, only 90 miles from the Florida coast, and the whole world held its breath as U.S. President John F. Kennedy and Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev went toe-to-toe, daring each other to blink first. Khrushchev ultimately conceded, removing the missiles after two weeks.
But it's not all gloom and doom today (even if today is National Grouch Day and tomorrow is National Boss Day -- are they inseparable?). It’s the anniversary of the 1951 premiere of "I Love Lucy," the sitcom that soon became the nation's favorite program and has aired continually ever since, thanks in large part to star and producer Desi Arnaz. In the early days of television, comedies were either aired live and lost forever, or syndicated using a kinescope (that is, by placing a camera in front of a monitor and filming the live broadcast). Arnaz had the idea of filming the show with three cameras before a live audience, treating the whole thing as a small movie -- a technique used to this day.
Of today’s last two events, one is unnecessary and the other is most necessary. The unnecessary one is Global Handwashing Day, which has the goal of encouraging everyone to wash their hands using soap and water to prevent the spread of disease. We know all our readers wash their hands -- especially after using the bathroom -- so there’s no need for the notice, right?
The necessary event is National Mammography Day, on which all women over 40 -- and those at risk -- are urged to schedule a mammogram in the hopes of detecting any early signs of breast cancer.
Saturday and Sunday:
Saturday is Dictionary Day, dedicated to that book with all the answers -- or, at least, with all the definitions. Why? Because, in 1758, Noah Webster, the man whose name has become synonymous (adj., "Having the same or a similar meaning" or "equivalent in connotation") with the idea of defining words, was born.
It’s also the birthday of two of the greatest playwrights in world history -- though they couldn't have been more different. 1854 saw the birth of Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde. Wilde wrote with a flamboyance and genius that has seldom been equaled. His plays, such as "The Importance of Being Earnest" and "Lady Windermere’s Fan," bristle with wit. Unfortunately, his homosexuality was anathema to Victorian English society, and he was sentenced to two years at hard labor, which broke both his body and his spirit. He died in exile in Paris in 1900.
In 1888, Eugene O’Neill was born. The son of one of America's finest actors, James O’Neill, Eugene was drawn to the theatre from his youth. After stints as a merchant seaman and in a tuberculosis sanatorium, he began writing plays that were generally experimental, theatrical, and tragic. His final plays, including "A Moon for the Misbegotten" and "The Iceman Cometh," are towering achievements, but both are surpassed by "Long Day’s Journey into Night," a portrait of his family that is simultaneously horrific, lacerating, forgiving, tragic, and comedic. He was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1936, and died in 1953.
Actress Angela Lansbury turns 85 today. Lansbury began her film career at the age of 17 and hasn't stopped working since. While most audiences know her as mystery novelist Jessica Fletcher on "Murder, She Wrote," she is widely considered to be the first lady of the American stage, whose work in such musicals as "Mame" and "Sweeney Todd" have earned her seven Tony Award nominations and five awards, not to mention multiple nominations for the Academy Awards (three), the Golden Globes (15), and the Emmys (18).
No doubt our good friends at the Ultimate Fighting Championship will note Miss Lansbury's birthday with tonight's UFC 120 in London, as will the folks who urge you to protect and improve the lives of cats around the country on National Feral Cat Day.
If you'd like to raise your own glass to her, we urge you to cook up a mess of noodles to accompany it, since tomorrow is National Pasta Day. If you don't have the urge to cook, you might want to pass on a quick burger and join others who are noting World Anti-McDonald’s Day. We'd never do that, personally -- the fries are just too darn good -- but we appreciate the sentiment.
However you celebrate, don't overdo it, or you won't be able to join us next time. See you then!
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 Did you ever think that maybe it's the Tower is straight, and it's the rest of Pisa that's crooked? (Photo by Sébastien Bertrand)
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Welcome back to The Spark, version 2.0. As is our new wont, we'll be taking a look at news, events, and anniversaries for the upcoming week in order to point you to deeper resources available about them in the Yahoo! Directory. Anxious to begin? So are we! Let's dive in.
Monday:
On this date in 1173, construction began in Pisa, Italy on a campanile. Soon after building began, the tower began to sink and tilt. (We think you can see where we’re going with this ...) Suffice it to say, though, we were surprised to learn it took nearly two hundred years to complete. Eight stories in two centuries? That's either some tough zoning commission or pretty strict union rules.
In 1483, Sistine Chapel in the the Vatican opened. We always wondered where its name came from, and it turns out it was named after Pope Sixtus IV. In another construction fun fact, we were surprised to learn that the room didn't open with Michelangelo's ceiling paintings in place; they weren't added for another 25 years -- and even then, it took the artist four years to finish the job. (Insert obligatory joke about "he should have used a roller.") We don't know if this is coincidental, but today is also International Art Appreciation Day. So go out and appreciate some art, won't you?
We don't take notice of just contractors today; we also salute Mr. Jacob Bronck, the Dutch farmer who managed to purchase what is now the New York borough of The Bronx (which is, of course, named for him) from local Indian tribes for 400 beads.
In birthdays today, cartoon icon Betty Boop turns 80, having made her debut in the Fleischer Studios cartoon "Dizzy Dishes" in 1930. Betty looks pretty good for an old dame, and was recently unveiled as the "Official Fantasy Cheerleader" of the United Football League -- and no, we’re not sure what that actually means. Speaking of fantasy mascots, the United States Forest Service unveiled their own mascot, Smokey the Bear, on this day in 1944.
For those of you inclined toward motorcycles and unseemly behavior, we'll note that the 70th Sturgis Rally begins today in Sturgis, SD, and leave it at that -- except to not that "unseemly behavior" reminds us that this is the 36th anniversary of Richard Nixon resigning the Presidency.
Tuesday:
In these days of the Interwebs, it's hard to conceive of how slow communication used to be. For example, it was until this day in 1776 that word of the United States declaring its independence reached London -- over a month after the event took place. It's a good day for revolutionary movements, as, in 1792, French revolutionaries stormed the Tuileries Palace and arrested King Louis XVI.
But it's not just a day for revolting; it's also a day for learning and scholarship. In 1846, James Smithson donated $500,000 (about $115 million today) to fund what would turn out to be the Smithsonian Institution in Washington. In much the same spirit, a group of, well, obsessive nerds (and we mean that fondly) met in Cooperstown, NY, in 1971, to found the Society for American Baseball Research, known for such Sabermetric abbreviations as WARP, wOBA, and xFIP. (If you’re more fond of football and video games than you are of baseball, please note that Madden NFL 11 will be released today).
Antonio Banderas turns 50 today. We'll say he looks pretty darn good for a guy his age, and leave it at that.
It's the 78th anniversary of the death of Rin Tin Tin. Rinty was a German Shepherd puppy who was found on a World War I battlefield by soldier Lee Duncan. Duncan brought the dog back to America and taught him any number of tricks, to the point where the dog became a major movie star in the 1920s, even keeping the Warner Bros. studio from going bankrupt.
To get serious for a moment, we wish our Muslim readers a blessed Ramadan, the holiday that begins today.
Wednesday:
Not much to note today, but we found this juxtaposition irresistible, especially in light of recent events in the Gulf. In 1994, a federal jury awarded $286.8 million to 10,000 commercial fishermen for their losses suffered as a result of the 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill. And on the same date in 1998, British Petroleum purchased Amoco for $49 billion.
And in 1934, the first prisoners started arriving at the newly-commissioned federal prison on Alcatraz Island.
BP? Oil spills? Alcatraz? We'll leave the math to you.
Thursday:
State fair season gets underway this weekend, as fairs open in Iowa, Missouri, Illinois, and West Virginia. The idea of the state fair conjures up (for us, anyway) the idea of small towns and the Midwest, which also reminds us that, in 1939, "The Wizard of Oz" had its world premiere not in Hollywood, but at the Strand Theatre in the bustling Wisconsin town of Oconomowoc. Turns out MGM was afraid they had a flop on their hands, and wanted to keep it quiet. (And we'll mention here that Bert Lahr, who played the Cowardly Lion, would have turned 115 this Friday).
Speaking of fantasies, supposedly on this date in 1943, the U.S. Navy tested a teleportation machine in what has come to be known as the Philadelphia Experiment.
Way, way back in 30 BCE, Cleopatra committed suicide by letting an asp bite her.
For the geeky, not only will Jon Stewart be interviewing George Lucas at the Star Wars Celebration V in Orlando, FL, but it's also the first day of the QuakeCon video game tournament.
For the more athletically inclined, the PGA Golf Championship begins today in Kohler, WI, as well as the annual inductions at the Basketball Hall of Fame in Springfield, MA.
Friday:
Remember not so long ago, when everyone was all concerned about how 2012 is the end of the Mayan calendar, which somehow means the end of the world? Well, on this day in 3114 BCE, the Mayan calendar started up. We can only guess what was around before that ...
A big day for women today. It's the 150th birthday of sharpshooter Annie Oakley, the 100th anniversary of the death of pioneer nurse Florence Nightingale, and the 92nd anniversary of Opha Mae Johnson being the first woman to enlist in the United States Marine Corps.
In the world of movies, Alfred Hitchcock, "the Master of Suspense," known for such classics as "Psycho," "North by Northwest," and "Vertigo," was born in 1899, which would have made him 111 today -- almost as old as the cast of "The Expendables," which opens today with such stars as Sylvester Stallone, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger. That it's also Friday the 13th and World Lizard Day seems almost non-coincidental. (Though it's also International Lefthanders Day, so we probably shouldn't make too much of it.)
Saturday:
Today is the 75th anniversary of the passing of the Social Security Act, which should come as a relief to Steve Martin, who turns 65 today, and is now eligible to retire.
On the same day Steve was born, the Japanese surrendered to the Allies, ending World War II, an event that was helped in no small part by the U.S. Army's Navajo code talkers -- Native Americans who radioed each other in their native tongue, completely confounding the Japanese who tried unsuccessfully to understand them; something that is celebrated today with National Navajo Code Talkers Day.
In Glasgow today, pipers from around the world will gather at the World Pipe Band Championships, something annoying for most of us, and bizarre enough to commemorate the 60th birthday of "Far Side" cartoonist Gary Larson. (Though perhaps it's not as bizarre as the UK Mobile Phone Throwing Championships.) A more pleasant musical event will take place on the other side of the Equator, as the World Tango Championships will be held in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
Sunday:
Birthdays today for two people who conquered their own worlds in their own ways. In 1769, it was Napoleon Bonaparte, and in 1912, it was Julia Child.
In 1969 on this date, Woodstock opened, featuring such musical acts as Jimi Hendrix, Joan Baez, Carlos Santana, Crosby, Stills and Nash, the Jefferson Airplane, The Who, and others.
We began this week by mentioning the Leaning Tower of Pisa, so it’s only fitting that we end it by referring to the laying of the foundation stone of Cologne Cathedral in 1248. The Tower took only 200 years to build, but the Cathedral wasn't completed until 1880.
We wish you a good week and the hopes that your own construction projects go more swiftly.
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 Napoleon in happier (and warmer) times |
Traditionally in warfare, if one army of nearly 700,000 men is facing another army of less than 190,000, you’d bet on the larger force to win.
However, if the 690,000 men are Napoleon's French Army invading Russia and it's winter, then the smart money wil smartly swap sides to the Russian home team.
Why? Well, consider the ill-fated 1812 invasion attempt by Napoleon Bonaparte. (It's a lesson Adolph Hitler could have learned from when he launched his ill-fated Operation Barbarossa in 1941.)
On June 23rd, 1812, Napoleon's Grande Armée, an awesome 690,000-man strong war machine, strode into Russia. The Grande Armée had previously conquered most of Continental Europe, so it was thought that the Russian invasion would be very similar: a bit bigger, perhaps, but one following the same basic tactics.
Napoleon had won his previous battles by quickly massing as many men as possible against his enemies and overwhelming them. So it came as no surprise when his master plan to defeat the Russians -- a country of six and a half million square miles -- within 20 days, mind you, involved, yes, quickly massing as many men as possible, forcing the Russian armies to fight him and -- you guessed it -- destroying them through superior numbers.
However, for this technique to work, his armies had to move fast -- just as they had in his European battles. But this was Russia: the roads were poor and the surrounding countryside even poorer; a detail that became crucial because Napoleon's tactics also involved having his men live off the land (or "pillage," depending upon which side you were on). If the war had finished on schedule, this wouldn't have been a problem; it became a problem only when the Russian army steadfastly refused to play by the rules and fight the Grand Armée. Instead they just kept retreating. And retreating. And retreating.
As their pursuit of the retreating Russians dragged on, hunger and disease began to ravage the Grand Armée. By the time it reached Moscow some three months later, a third of its numbers were already dead or sick. Napoleon hadn't planned to attack Moscow -- his original plan had been a quick battle and the destruction of the Russian Army; it was only the perpetual retreat of the Russians the had sucked the Armée so deep into such very hostile territory.
In September 1812, the now not-so-Grand Armée finally staggered into a deserted Moscow that had been stripped of all useful supplie. The exhausted and angry French had such a fit of Gallic pique that they burned the city to the ground. With no shelter, no food, and facing a possible Russian attack (at last!), Napoleon was forced to abandon the city and retreat.
But all of the difficulties which had inconvenienced Napoleon's troops on the way to Moscow combined with the bitterly-cold Russian winter and began to kill them on the long march home. By the time they reached the French border, more than half a million troops had died. So as any military historian will tell you, the first rule of war in Europe? "Don't invade Russia in the winter!"
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Napoléon Bonaparte, Napoleonic Wars, Russia, Operation Barbarossa |
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Archived under: 19th Century, Anniversaries, Europe, European History, France, History, Military, Moscow, Napoleon Bonaparte, Russia, War, Winter |
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