(Photo by Scott Liddell) (Editor's note: We originally ran this piece in 2006, but we felt its message about the holiday was as relevant now as it was then. Please enjoy it and thank you.) In anticipation of this year's commotion, we had planned to focus our Thanksgiving edition of The Spark on ways to beat holiday stress. But as I sat down to write, I couldn't stop thinking about what's missing this holiday. This will be my 14th Thanksgiving without my mother, who died of cancer when I was 14 years old. The loss caught up with me this year, and I joined a local grief group. Today, I'm thankful for the strong strangers I met there: a homeless woman mourning the loss of her son while trying to remain together with her husband in a transitional home; a woman who lost her stepfather only three weeks before is finally beginning to grieve for the little brother she'd lost nearly a decade ago; a man who shyly admitted that he sprays his wife's perfume in the bedroom every so often after recently losing her. Most of us will experience holidays of missing at some point in our lives. While I thank my group for sharing their stories and their strength, I have some colleagues to thank as well. One editor cherishes her Yahoo! Messenger conversations with her husband in Iraq. They turn on their web cams so they can see each other. And their daughter leaves palmprints on the monitor after touching the image of her dad's face. Another editor is afraid he can't carve the turkey like his dad used to. But as he shares his father's Thanksgiving traditions with his young daughters, he is sure they will learn all the great things about Grandpa... Through our memories and the stories we share, our loved ones can live on, during the holidays and beyond them. Thank you for reading. Happy Thanksgiving. Suggested Sites... How to Remember a Loved One at the Holidays - listen to their favorite music. Light a candle. Plant a tree, or establish a scholarship. How to Cope With Grief During the Holidays - ways to cope with loss of a loved one the holiday season.

Directory categories: Bereavement, Grief Groups, Thanksgiving Graces and Blessings, Thanksgiving, Holiday Stress

Archived under: Bereavement, Death, Health, Holidays, Mental Health, Thanksgiving

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"I say, Jeeves; this 'Spark' thing is a bit of a rum go, isn't it?" "Actually, sir, I believe it's a rather useful compendium of Internet links." "Nonsense, Jeeves; there's nothing useful on the Internet." Now that it's officially autumn (in the Northern Hemisphere, anyway), events seem to be calming down as we prepare for the long winter hibernation. But don't think for a minute that nothing's going on. For example: Monday: In 1759, Mason Weems was born. Although he studied theology and became a parson in the Episcopal Church, we remember him best for his 1800 "History of the Life and Death, Virtues and Exploits of General George Washington." The book was less a biography than a collection of exaggerations and falsehoods -- most notably the story of six-year-old George cutting down one of his father's cherry trees,then confessing to the crime. The book was popular in its time, but has been debunked in the centuries since. It's a day to celebrate politicians, such as the 126th birthday of Eleanor Roosevelt. Mrs. Roosevelt was the wife of Franklin D. Roosevelt, and the first lady of the land for some 12 years, During her time in the White House, she fought tirelessly for liberal causes and human rights, continuing her work after her husband's death, as both a United States delegate to the United Nations, and as chair of the U.N. Commission on Human Rights. Not that she couldn't have fun, or take time out to appear on quiz shows or to hawk margarine on television. And it's the 35th wedding anniversary of Bill and Hillary Rodham Clinton. (Hint to Bill: the 35th is the coral or jade anniversary). Little did the Clintons know that their wedding night would coincide with the premiere of "Saturday Night Live," a program that would, in the decades to come, poke endless fun at both of them. Remember last week when we were all aquiver over the Nobel Prizes being announced? Well, the festivities conclude today with the announcement of the winner of the Prize for Economics. Economics being an inexact science, this is the only one of the prizes not founded by Alfred Nobel, having been established by the Bank of Sweden in 1969. What better way to celebrate winning a Nobel than by having a huge Thanksgiving feast? Think it's too early for Thanksgiving? Not if you're in Canada, where today is Turkey Day, thanks to their earlier harvests. And leftover turkey makes a great sandwich, perfect for National School Lunch Week, which begins today. Finally, and more seriously, in light of the recent "It Gets Better" project, we note that today is National Coming Out Day, on which we celebrate our lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered friends and family members and their fight for equality. Sadly, tomorrow is the 12th anniversary the death of Matthew Shepard, who was tortured to death solely for being gay. Tuesday: Not so interested in equality was the Roman emperor Nero, who ascended to the throne on this day in 54. While Nero was, by all accounts, a tyrant and a dictator, he is likely best known for the apocryphal scenes of him fiddling or playing the lyre while Rome burned in a fire that destroyed a good portion of the city – a tale that's as false as the one about Washington and the cherry tree -- or the myths that Paul McCartney suffered a premature death. The "Paul is Dead" craze began when a group of Drake University students uncovered a series of "clues" they thought had been planted by the Beatles to indicate McCartney had died. On this day in 1969, they persuaded WKNR DJ Russ Gibb to play "Revolution #9" backward in order to reveal its supposedly masked message of "Turn me on, dead man." Some notable TV anniversaries today. Most important to us is the 1950 premiere of "The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show." While Burns and Allen were one of the top acts in vaudeville, movies, and radio, their television show was their most important contribution to show business. Decades ahead of its time, the show featured such innovations as George talking directly to the audience about the plot of the episode (which he generally found out about by watching the program -- as it was taking place -- on the television in his den, and replacing actors in mid-scene with other actors playing the same part. All of it was highlighted by Gracie's unique form of humor, which combined a lovable dimness with an inability to see beyond the literal meanings of words. In 1953, "The Bob Hope Show" began its 20-year run on NBC, as America's favorite comedian traded quips and appeared in skits with the country’s top movie stars, athletes, and personalities. 1978 saw the premiere of "Sneak Previews," the first national iteration of the many shows featuring film critics Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert battling each other over which movies were any good. Those that were were awarded the coveted "two thumbs up" rating. Those that weren’t were usually greeted by Aroma the Educated Skunk or Spot the Wonder Dog, who highlighted the "stinker" or "dog" of the week. We can assume that such a dismal fate would not await either the nominees for the Man Booker Prize, awarded each year to the best English-language novel written by a citizen of the British Commonwealth (the winner of which will be announced today), or those hoping for a National Book Award, the finalists for which will be announced tomorrow. Those who are afraid they won’t get either a nomination or an award can take comfort in knowing that tomorrow is National Face Your Fears Day. Buck up and wait till next year! You’d think a holiday would be anything but controversial, but today is Columbus Day (even if the banks were closed yesterday), and the "discoverer of America" is anything but universally hailed, especially by Native American groups. Wednesday: Only three events of note today, but none of them are without interest. First of all, today is the 235th anniversary of the founding of the United States Navy. It's also National Bring Your Teddy Bear to Work Day, in the hopes that having a stuffed friend nearby will relieve some of your workplace stress. And speaking of stress, it was four years ago today that the Six Flags theme park in Gurnee, Illinois held a live cockroach eating contest. If only they'd waiting until the 14th, they could have made the competition part of National Chocolate Covered Insect Day or even National Dessert Day. Yum! Thursday: We mentioned that last week was the anniversary of the start of the carving of Mount Rushmore, and we have to wonder, given today's anniversary, whether Theodore Roosevelt could have done all the sculpting by himself, using only his bare hands. Why? On this date in 1912, while campaigning in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Roosevelt was shot at point blank range. Fortunately, a metal glasses case and the speech he was supposed to deliver was folded in his breast pocket and took most of the impact. Even with a fresh flesh wound and the bullet still in him, TR still delivered the speech. They don't make 'em like that anymore. Speaking of unique individuals, today is the birthday of actress Lillian Gish. Born in 1893, Miss Gish began her film career in 1912, working with pioneering director D.W. Griffith, and kept working until 1987’s "The Whales of August." Her career spanned virtually the entire history of cinema. While it might seem impossible that one woman could have been in both 1915’s "The Birth of a Nation" and an episode of "The Love Boat" 65 years later, Miss Gish did it! Miss Gish even did live TV (there was no other kind in the 1950s, after all), and NBC's "30 Rock" will revive that artform tonight, with a special live episode from Rockefeller Center’s Studio 8H, normally the home of "Saturday Night Live." As unique as Theodore Roosevelt, Lillian Gish, and live television is "Winnie-the-Pooh," the children’s classic by A.A. Milne, first published on this day in 1926. Friday: Speaking of characters, we note quite a few of them today. For example, Grace Bedell,  the eleven-year-old girl who wrote Abraham Lincoln on this date in 1860, suggesting that he grow a beard because "all the ladies like whiskers and they would tease their husbands to vote for you and then you would be President." Whether or not Lincoln took the advice seriously, he did start growing a beard within a month and was indeed elected. Then there's P.G. Wodehouse, born in 1881. Wodehouse wrote some of the funniest novels ever penned (many of which featured the hopelessly dim Bertie Wooster and his invaluable valet, Jeeves) and was also a talented songwriter, who worked with composer Jerome Kern to, more or less, create the American musical. And let us not forget Jack the Ripper (there's a transition!), who in 1888, sent his letter "From Hell" to the police investigating his murders. Speaking of death, superspy Mata Hari met hers on this day in 1917. Even though she had lured many a man to his doom during World War I, she met her own end before a firing squad. Of course, the entire world nearly met its end in 1962, as the Cuban Missile Crisis began. The Soviet Union had deployed nuclear missiles in Cuba, only 90 miles from the Florida coast, and the whole world held its breath as U.S. President John F. Kennedy and Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev went toe-to-toe, daring each other to blink first. Khrushchev ultimately conceded, removing the missiles after two weeks. But it's not all gloom and doom today (even if today is National Grouch Day and tomorrow is National Boss Day -- are they inseparable?). It’s the anniversary of the 1951 premiere of "I Love Lucy," the sitcom that soon became the nation's favorite program and has aired continually ever since, thanks in large part to star and producer Desi Arnaz. In the early days of television, comedies were either aired live and lost forever, or syndicated using a kinescope (that is, by placing a camera in front of a monitor and filming the live broadcast). Arnaz had the idea of filming the show with three cameras before a live audience, treating the whole thing as a small movie -- a technique used to this day. Of today’s last two events, one is unnecessary and the other is most necessary. The unnecessary one is Global Handwashing Day, which has the goal of encouraging everyone to wash their hands using soap and water to prevent the spread of disease. We know all our readers wash their hands -- especially after using the bathroom -- so there’s no need for the notice, right? The necessary event is National Mammography Day, on which all women over 40 -- and those at risk -- are urged to schedule a mammogram in the hopes of detecting any early signs of breast cancer. Saturday and Sunday: Saturday is Dictionary Day, dedicated to that book with all the answers -- or, at least, with all the definitions. Why? Because, in 1758, Noah Webster, the man whose name has become synonymous (adj., "Having the same or a similar meaning" or "equivalent in connotation") with the idea of defining words, was born. It’s also the birthday of two of the greatest playwrights in world history -- though they couldn't have been more different. 1854 saw the birth of Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde. Wilde wrote with a flamboyance and genius that has seldom been equaled. His plays, such as "The Importance of Being Earnest" and "Lady Windermere’s Fan," bristle with wit. Unfortunately, his homosexuality was anathema to Victorian English society, and he was sentenced to two years at hard labor, which broke both his body and his spirit. He died in exile in Paris in 1900. In 1888, Eugene O’Neill was born. The son of one of America's finest actors, James O’Neill, Eugene was drawn to the theatre from his youth. After stints as a merchant seaman and in a tuberculosis sanatorium, he began writing plays that were generally experimental, theatrical, and tragic. His final plays, including "A Moon for the Misbegotten" and "The Iceman Cometh," are towering achievements, but both are surpassed by "Long Day’s Journey into Night," a portrait of his family that is simultaneously horrific, lacerating, forgiving, tragic, and comedic. He was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1936, and died in 1953. Actress Angela Lansbury turns 85 today. Lansbury began her film career at the age of 17 and hasn't stopped working since. While most audiences know her as mystery novelist Jessica Fletcher on "Murder, She Wrote," she is widely considered to be the first lady of the American stage, whose work in such musicals as "Mame" and "Sweeney Todd" have earned her seven Tony Award nominations and five awards, not to mention multiple nominations for the Academy Awards (three), the Golden Globes (15), and the Emmys (18). No doubt our good friends at the Ultimate Fighting Championship will note Miss Lansbury's birthday with tonight's UFC 120 in London, as will the folks who urge you to protect and improve the lives of cats around the country on National Feral Cat Day. If you'd like to raise your own glass to her, we urge you to cook up a mess of noodles to accompany it, since tomorrow is National Pasta Day. If you don't have the urge to cook, you might want to pass on a quick burger and join others who are noting World Anti-McDonald’s Day. We'd never do that, personally -- the fries are just too darn good -- but we appreciate the sentiment. However you celebrate, don't overdo it, or you won't be able to join us next time. See you then! Suggested Sites... Truth, Lies, Parson Weems, and Walt Disney - how Parson Weems's truth-stretching has persisted throughout American history. Remembering Gene - Roger Ebert discusses his friend and rival Gene Siskel on the tenth anniversary of his death. Lillian Gish.com - all about the longest career in the history of the movies. History of the Musical Stage: 1910-1919 - how Jerome Kern and P.G. Wodehouse invented the modern musical. The Cuban Missile Crisis - the JFK Library's official history.

Directory categories: American History, Urban Legends, Television History, Vaudeville, Phobias

Archived under: 17th Century, 18th Century, 1910s, 1920s, 1950s, 1960s, 1970s, 19th Century, Abraham Lincoln, Actors, American History, Amusement Parks, Ancient History, Animal Rights, Animals, Anniversaries, Assassinations, Authors, Autumn, Awards, Bill Clinton, Biographies, Birthdays, Bob Hope, Books, Boss Day, Broadway, Canada, Cancer, Celebrations, Celebrities, Children´s Literature, Comedians, Composers, Critics, Cuba, D.W. Griffith, Desserts, Detectives, Dictators, England, Entertainment, Europe, European History, Events, Facial Hair, Fast Food, Festivals, Fiction, First Ladies, France, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Game Shows, Gay History, Gay Pride, George Washington, Germs, Government, Grumpiness, Hair, Hamburgers, Health, Hibernation, Hillary Clinton, History, Hoaxes, Holidays, Humor, In Character, Insects, Italy, Jack the Ripper, LGBT, Literature, London, Media, Men, Mental Health, Military, Movies, Murder, Music, Musicals, Musicians, Mysteries, Nobel Prize, Nostalgia, Organizations, Oscar Wilde, Oscars, P.G. Wodehouse, Performing Arts, Phobias, Presidential Candidates, Presidents, Radio, Reading, Roadside Attractions, Roger Ebert, Rome, Royalty, Russia, Sandwiches, School, Serial Killers, Silent Movies, Sitcoms, Spies, TV, The Beatles, Theme Parks, Tourist Attractions, U.K. History, United Kingdom, United Nations, United States, Urban Legends, Vaudeville, Vintage, WWI, War, Weddings, Weird Stuff, Winnie the Pooh, Women, Wrestlers, Wrestling, Writers, Writing

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:"Doctor, every night I dream I run ten miles to get away from something. What can I do?" "Nothing.You get more exercise asleep than I do awake" (Photo by Vincepal) Our 21st-century understanding of medicine and psychology is pretty advanced, yet dreams continue to baffle us. More than a century after the publication of Sigmund Freud's "The Interpretation of Dreams," his theories still influence our understanding of dreams -- though we no longer interpret every symbol as either sexual or wish-fulfillment. While there's no definitive answer as to the purpose, meaning -- or even the cause of dreams -- their study continues in earnest. Although we might not concern ourselves with the ongoing battles over dreams in the halls of academia, most of us do dream. Some remember few dreams, if any. Others make a study of their own dreams, keeping journals, and attempting to control them through lucid dreaming. You don't need to be a hardcore dream analyst to occasionally wonder whether your dreams hold some sort of meaning or message, especially since there are so many common dream themes. Ever have the one about your teeth falling out? Or being back in school taking a test? Being naked or being chased? Ever dream about this guy? There may not even be a cookie-cutter explanation for each dream symbol. Therapists sometimes use dreams in the context of an individual's life as a tool for exploring emotions and identifying and working through issues. "Dreamwork" has carved out its own niche in the self-help industry, with tons of books and even a popular radio dream coach. If you aren't quite ready to sign up for psychoanalysis, but you'd still like some insights into that dream you keep having about dogs, this weekend is your chance to talk to a teacher from the School of Metaphysics. Each year they open the National Dream Hotline for a weekend in April and offer free dream interpretations (the phone call itself will cost whatever long-distance charge applies to your phone service). If you’d like to give it a whirl, call (417) 345-8411, starting today at 6:00 p.m. (Central Daylight Time) and running through Sunday at midnight. Sweet dreams! Suggested Sites... School of Metaphysics - classes, seminars, and media for developing the whole Self. Dreamschool - explorers of dreams since 1973, and hosts of the Dream Hotline. Journal of the Association for the Study of Dreams - the only professional journal devoted specifically to dreaming. dream moods - site features a dream dictionary and discussion forums. Dreamstop - social networking centered around dream journals.

Directory categories: Sleep and Dreams, Dream Interpretation, Lucid Dreaming, Dream Interpretation Services, Psychoanalysis

Archived under: Dreams, Events, Mental Health, Psychology, Science, Sigmund Freud, Sleep

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Spc. Jesse A. Murphree greets his comrades returning from deployment in Afghanistan (Photo by The U.S. Army) War, with all of its accompanying horrors and destruction, doesn't seem to be on the decline. It is a huge part of our past and future, and is a shaping force in human culture. Regardless of how one feels about war, or politics, or military policy, I would hazard a guess that most people support, in one way or another, the troops who ship off and fight. It follows that we should set aside politics in our commitment to these soldiers after they've completed their service. As much as ever, veterans need community support. They face PTSD, homelessness, high suicide rates, unemployment, and general difficulties transitioning back into civilian life. Fortunately, many communities and national organizations are stepping up. In Michigan, jobless veterans can participate in a new training program designed to prepare them for farm jobs. Across the country, many restaurants will be offering veterans free meals on Veterans Day. At the national level, Veterans Affairs Secretary Eric Shinseki recently announced that he hopes to end veterans' homelessness within five years. The VA has also recently begun a program to address mental and emotional issues early on in a service member's military career. Private organizations are playing a part as well. Puppies Behind Bars, where prison inmates train service dogs, has started training many of their dogs with the special needs of veterans in mind. The recent tragedy at Fort Hood illustrates the desperate need for mental health services in the military. This surely includes indentifying and fixing those parts of the system that are failing service members, but each of us can increase our awareness and sensitivity to the needs of these people in our communities... because if you don’t already know a veteran, you probably will. Suggested Sites... U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs - Mental Health - resources for veterans and their families, connecting people to the services they need. National Coalition for Homeless Veterans - providing advocacy for homeless veterans and support for service providers. Transition Assistance Online - lists employment opportunities for separating military service members and veterans. Take A Veteran To School Day - a national teach-in on veterans history. U.S. Department of Defense Community Relations - connecting the troops and the community.

Directory categories: Veterans Day, Veterans, Veterans Organizations, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Employment Resources for Veterans

Archived under: American History, Government, Holidays, Mental Health, Military, Society and Culture, Veterans, Veterans Day, War

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"This chair will protect me!" (Photo by Capture Queen) Halloween is right around the corner and it seems everyone is game for a little scare. Horror movies, haunted houses, and ghoulish costumes are all benign ways of generating a little jolt of fright, a rush of adrenaline to remind us we're still alive. There is, however, nothing enjoyable about a fear that becomes irrational and pervasive and overtakes one's everyday life. There is nothing fun about a phobia. Defined as an unrelenting or persistent fear of a situation, activity, or thing, phobias run the gamut from ablutophobia (fear of washing or bathing) to zemmiphobia (fear of the great mole rat), and just about everything in between. If it exists, there's a phobia associated with it. Some are relatively common, like claustrophobia (fear of small or tight places) and agoraphobia (fear of open spaces), while others, like homilophobia (fear of sermons) and kathisophobia (fear of sitting down), are decidedly rarer. To those who suffer from phobias, the world can be a terrifying place. Think of how difficult a simple trip to the grocery store would be for a sitophobic (one who fears food) or a lachanophobic (one who fears vegetables). A library would be a nightmare to someone suffering from bibliophobia (fear of books), not to mention poor papyrophobics (those who fear paper) and metrophobics (those who fear poetry), although it might just be the spot for a ligyrophobic (one who fears loud noises). And just imagine the terror a sushi bar would provoke to an ichthyophobic (one who fears fish), a consecotaleophobic (one who fears chopsticks), or a Japanophobic (one who fears the Japanese). Perhaps the most complicated phobia to understand is phobophobia. This affliction is characterized by an unrelenting fear of fear or phobias, and specifically, "of the internal sensations associated with that phobia and anxiety." Rather than being affected by environmental stimuli, sufferers of phobophobia are set off by the internal sensations of fear itself, which is further exacerbated by experiencing those exact same sensations. It's a lot to think about, I know. Let's just hope you aren't phronemophobic. Suggested Sites... The Phobia List - provides an extensive list of fears. MedlinePlus: Phobias - information on phobias from the National Institutes of Health. Anxieties.com - self-help site for persons suffering from anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder, fear of flying, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Anxiety UK - works to relieve and support those living with anxiety disorders by providing information, support, and understanding. MayoClinic: Phobias - features resources and treatment information for a wide array of phobias.

Directory categories: Phobias, Agoraphobia, Mental Health, Horror, Halloween

Archived under: Halloween, Health, Horror, Mental Health, Phobias, Psychology

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