The Milestone Mo-Tel today. Winners get one free night. Losers get two. (That's the second time we've used that joke today.) If the whole world loves a winner, we have a weekend full of love ahead of us. Let's get started! The most obvious winners will be declared Thursday when either Clint Robertson or Brandy Kuentzel wins the right to become Donald Trump's latest Apprentice for one year. (We hope that the loser isn't stuck for two years ...) One of the three remaining teams on "The Amazing Race" will win a million smackers on Sunday. (Perhaps eating that sheep's head may have been worth it.) It's almost guaranteed that none of these winners will make Barbara Walters' list of the year's "Most Fascinating People," (most fascinating to her, anyway ...) but we’ll find out for sure Thursday. (Our guess for #1 on her list? The cameraman who smears the Vaseline all over the lens that photographs her.) And on Friday, they'll be handing out the Nobel Prizes. The Nobels aren't like the Oscars; everyone already knows who won and the winners have actually accomplished something that matters, rather than playing loveable oddballs. Saturday we'll see some sports winners. In the afternoon, someone (Cam Newton? Andrew Luck? LaMichael James?) will win the Heisman Trophy as the nation's finest college football player, and in the evening, either Georges St-Pierre or Josh Koscheck will take the welterweight championship at UFC 124 in Montreal. We assume the combatants will not resort to wheeling around the ring in roller skates, but while it would be appropriate (given that Thursday marks the anniversary of their 1884 patent), we'd have to warn them that such a thing would be just plain dangerous.) Sunday also marks the 10th anniversary of the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling in Bush v. Gore, which ensured that George W. Bush became the nation's 43rd president. Whether that made the country a winner or a loser, we'll leave up to you. Falling into a similar category is Larry King's retirement from his CNN talk show on Friday. (As with President Bush, we won't say whether that's a plus or a minus.) Weary travelers were winners 85 years ago Sunday, when the Milestone Mo-Tel, the world's first motel (short for "motor hotel"), opened in San Luis Obispo, California. If we stretch the definition of "winner" to include those whose birthdays fall this weekend, then we're lousy with winners. For example, Thursday sees the birthdays of both Margaret Hamilton (1902) and Redd Foxx (1922). Hamilton is best known for her role as the Wicked Witch of the West in the 1939 classic, "The Wizard of Oz." Despite her indelible portrayal of one of the screen's great villains, Hamilton loved children and was a lifelong advocate for charities that benefitted kids and animals. Foxx was someone whose work, on the other hand, was decidedly not for kids. A veteran of the black vaudeville entertainment venues known as the "Chitlin' Circuit," Foxx recorded a series of "party records" in the 1950s that were both filthy and hilarious. He reached a mainstream fame in the '70s when he starred in "Sanford and Son," where his frequent feigned heart attacks were one of the show's running gags. In a supreme irony, he suffered an actual heart attack while rehearsing for another television show, but no one believed was it real until it was too late. Sunday would have been the 95th birthday of Frank Sinatra. The greatest popular singer of the 20th century, Sinatra was also an Oscar-winning actor, starred in numerous TV specials that consisted of nothing but him singing with his guests, and was the biggest attraction in Las Vegas when that title actually meant something. Monday, we celebrate the 192nd birthday of Mary Todd Lincoln, wife of Abraham Lincoln who was criticized in her time for her extravagant and spendthrift ways, and committed to a psychiatric hospital by her son Robert. While she was undoubtedly depressed, wouldn't any woman who’d lived through the death of three sons and the murder of her husband (while sitting next to him) feel the same? She was eventually declared competent and released, but her health was broken, and she died three years later. If birthday celebrants are winners, so too are those is show business who meet success, like performers and lovers of country music, who can celebrate the 83rd anniversary of the first broadcast of the Grand Ole Opry on Friday. The Opry has been a staple of radio and television in the decades since it debuted, highlighting the best in country, from Hank Williams and Minnie Pearl to Clint Black and Carrie Underwood. Someone who's appeared at the Opry (but has yet to be inducted into its member ranks) is Taylor Swift. Perhaps the Opry has been waiting for her to turn 21 - in which case, it need wait no longer! The Grammy-winning singer reaches her majority on Monday. Thursday will see the annual airing of the Rankin-Bass animated Christmas special, "The Year without a Santa Claus," which features memorable turns by Snow Miser and Heat Miser (who are also not members of the Opry). Friday is also the 55th anniversary of the "Mighty Mouse Playhouse's" television premiere. In TV's early days, broadcasters were desperate for material to air, so old movies and cartoons were natural fodder, and Paul Terry's "Mighty Mouse" cartoons were some of the oddest programs to come to the screen. Mini operatic melodramas, they featured the eponymous rodent singing his was through battles with the villainous Oil Can Harry. Mighty made a brief comeback in the 80s in a brilliant TV series produced by Ralph Bakshi, but he's been in retirement since self-appointed censor Donald Wildmon mistook the mouse's flower sniffing for drug use. (No, really.) Wildmon isn't the only well-intentioned, if-misguided, protector we mention, though, since Thursday is the anniversary of the founding of the John Birch Society, which has been protecting Americans from the Communists lurking under their beds for 52 years. Legitimate do-gooders have something to celebrate this weekend, too. Thursday is the U.N's annual International Anti-Corruption Day, dedicated to wiping out, well, corruption and promoting the rule of law, and Friday is both Human Rights Day and the beginning of Human Rights Week. We end by noting a delightful juxtaposition on Thursday. December 9, 1792, saw the first cremation in America, when statesman Henry Laurens died at his plantation in Charleston, South Carolina, and per his will, his body was burned. On the same date in 1886, Clarence Birdseye, inventor of frozen food was born. We're reminded of the choice Curly Howard was given in a Three Stooges short: to be burned at the stake or to have his head cut off. He opted for the former, on the reasoning that a hot stake's better than a cold chop. Good night! Suggested Sites... NBC: The Apprentice - Trump's hair; you're fired! CBS: The Amazing Race - who will be eliminated -- next? UFC 124 - they're at it yet again. The Very First Motel - the story of the Milestone. Sinatra.com - the Chairman of the Board.

Directory categories: Reality TV, College Football, Al gore, Hotels and Motels, Country Musicians

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This may not be a pipe, but it is the illustration for a Spark Two events earlier this week couldn't help but remind us of their historical precedents. First, the engagement of Prince William and Kate Middleton made us remember that Friday is the 63rd wedding anniversary of his grandparents, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip. If you were thinking of sending Liz and Phil a present, it's probably not necessary; they're managing to squeeze by, even in this tight economy. Tuesday's groundbreaking for the George W. Bush Presidential Center at Southern Methodist University in Dallas made us think of November 19, 1939, when Franklin D. Roosevelt laid the cornerstone for the FDR Library and Museum in Hyde Park, New York, on the grounds of the Roosevelt family estate. It was America's first official presidential library. Until then, executive papers were either distributed to the President's families, given to the National Archives, or tossed away. The result was a mess that plagued historians. For example, there are numerous drafts and handwritten copies of Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, all of which differ slightly, so that today it's unclear exactly what he said on November 19, 1863, when he delivered the speech to mixed reviews. Democratic newspapers panned it as "silly, flat, and dishwatery," and Republican papers called it "tasteful and elegant." You pays yer money and you takes yer choice, we guess. (Good thing there isn't that kind of partisanship today ...) Speaking of "paying yer money," we're guessing that more than a few people will be doing just that at the movies this weekend, as the first part of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" opens. We don't know if folks will be lining up for that, or to see the trailer for next summer's Green Lantern" movie, but we're willing to bet that there'll be some who are more interested in space opera than in teenage wizards. "Green Lantern" is a movie about an interstellar police force. We don't know if their home planet of Oa (or even Mogo, the Green Lantern who is a sentient planet) would be visible using the Hubble Space Telescope, but we do know that Saturday would have been the 121st birthday of Edwin Hubble, the astronomer for whom the telescope is named, and is the 26th anniversary of the founding of the SETI Institute, which searches for extraterrestrial life. Whether there's anyone else out there is a mystery that SETI is dedicated to solving, but that riddle pales in comparison to the one that gripped America over the summer and fall of 1980, when the country wondered who shot J.R. Ewing. Sunday is the 30th anniversary of the episode of "Dallas" that solved that mystery. It was estimated that 83 million people were tuned in that night, which is still the third-largest TV audience ever. Appropriately, Sunday is also World Television Day, dedicated to the boob tube and all its splendors. (It's also World Hello Day, during which you're supposed to say "Hello" to ten people. But if you're watching television, you probably won't get the chance. Of course, if you've spent Saturday night watching UFC 123 from Auburn Hills, Michigan, and Sunday afternoon watching the NASCAR Ford 400 from the Miami Homestead Speedway, you may be ready to get off the couch and socialize. Crazed from too much TV? You might try sending birthday greetings to Belgian artist René Magritte. He was born on November 21, 1889, and died in 1967, but his art is so surreal - with trains rushing from fireplaces and apples replacing human heads - that he might appreciate the good wishes anyway. If you're still desperate to make a human connection, you can wish a happy 45th to Bjork, the surrealist Icelandic singer and swan fancier. We close with week with two holidays: Sunday is Universal Children's Day, created by the United Nations in 1954 to encourage work that benefits and promotes the welfare of the children of the world, and Friday is World Toilet Day, which sounds funny, but promotes clean and sanitary conditions for everyone, child and adult. We are reminded on this day that a straight flush beats a full house. Suggested Sites... Franklin D. Roosevelt Home and Museum - "When I go up to Hyde Park, it is not just for the ride there / It's not that I love Hyde Park, but I love to park and hide there." Library of Congress: Gettysburg Address - "Seven score and seven years ago ..." DC Comics: Green Lantern - "In brightest day, in blackest night ..." Hubble Site - 20 years of breathtaking images. Los Angeles Time: The "Dallas" Shot That Was Heard Round the World - "Who shot J.R.?" (Warning: spoilers ahead.)

Directory categories: Royalty, U.S. Presidents, Harry Potter Movies, Green Lantern Comics, Astronomers

Archived under: 1950s, 1980s, 19th Century, Abraham Lincoln, Aliens, American History, Anniversaries, Artists, Astronomy, Buildings, Celebrations, Children, Childrens Health, Civil War, England, Events, Franklin D. Roosevelt, George Bush, Harry Potter, Health, Libraries, Movie Trailers, Movies, Music, Musicians, Mysteries, Newspapers, Presidents, Royalty, Science, Scientists, Singers, Space, Speeches, Superheroes, TV, Texas, Toilets, Tourist Attractions, U.K. History, United Kingdom, United Nations, United States, Villains, War, Weddings

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The original poster for Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room. Traveler beware! Anyone who's been to Disneyland or Walt Disney World over the past 45 years has probably suffered through the Enchanted Tiki Room, "Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln," or (worst of all) "It’s a Small World." All of these "attractions” feature Disney’s patented and trademarked "Audio-Animatronic" technology. These animatronics work through an ingenious combination of air pressure, water pressure, electronics, and computers that tell these plastic- and fabric-covered robotic puppets to move through a series of pre-programmed movements with all the realism and agility of an arthritic turtle. While some may find these doppelgangers grotesque, it is reported that many more are delighted by them and their antics. So, in that light, we note that, on June 23, 1963, the Tiki Room opened for business in Disneyland's Adventureland. The gimmick is simple: unwitting suckers -- er, "guests" -- desperate for anyplace to sit after hours of waiting in line in ungodly heat, wander dazedly into the Tiki Room after hearing the ballyhoo from José Carioca, the ever-chattering pitch-parrot who looms outside the hut. (Why a Brazilian parrot should be shilling for a Hawaiian-themed room is a mystery, but it ultimately makes as much sense as the Mexican, Irish, French, and German parrots who host the show inside.) Once seated, the guests are subjected to a spectacle consisting of scores of birds and tikis singing various ditties, the most notorious of which is the anthemic "In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room." After a suitable period, the bombarded guests are gratefully released back into the "real" world. There's something about these attractions that brings out the annoying in the Disney Imagineers and composers. "Pirates of the Caribbean" has its marauding buccaneers sing a catchy chantey -- most of which is unintelligible except for its repeated lines of "Yo ho! Yo ho! A pirate’s life for me!" and "Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!" And the less said about the endlessly-rendered title song of "It’s a Small World," the better (try getting that one out of your head, now that we've mentioned it). We must admit, though, we were actually fond of the Carousel of Progress’s "There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow" -- which may be one of the reasons the attraction was closed at the original Magic Kingdom in 1973 (though it survives at Walt Disney World). In recent years, the technology has improved. The original version of the Tiki Room featured a behind-the-scenes array of computers that filled a room, with vast machines that hummed, clicked, and whirred (one assumes that any well-equipped laptop could take the place of all those machines nowadays). "Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln" has gone through many iterations at Disneyland, and has been supplanted at Walt Disney World with the "Hall of Presidents," which allows Americans to see plastic robots that grotesquely impersonate the U.S.'s past and present chief executives -- and even to hear Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama provide their own voices! Given Disney's genius for combining earworms and Animatronics makes us grateful that they didn't apply it to the Presidents. The prospect of hearing Mr. Lincoln serenading Jefferson Davis with a tune called something like "Keep a Civil Tongue in Your Head" is tempting, but too much to bear. Suggested Sites... The Enchanted Tiki Room - official Disney site, with information, images -- and that song. DaveLandWeb: Enchanted Tiki Room - obsessively complete photo gallery of every aspect of the attraction. Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln - watch the 16th president in plastic zombie form! Dead Men Tell No Tales - fan site for the "Pirates of the Caribbean" ride. (Maybe they can decipher the lyrics ...) How Animatronics Works - Step 1: Build a rubber puppet...

Directory categories: Disneyland, Walt Disney World, Disneyland Rides and Attractions, Animatronics, Robotics

Archived under: 1960s, Abraham Lincoln, American History, Amusement Parks, Anniversaries, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Birds, Dead Celebrities, Disney, Disneyland, Entertainment, George Bush, Impersonators, Invention, Presidents, Puppets, Robotics, Science, Technology, Tourist Attractions, Ventriloquism

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John F. Kennedy Official Portrait When Henry Kissinger was asked about his success with women, he replied, "Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac." If a Secretary of State did that well, one can only imagine what a president could do. Many U.S. presidents have tested that proposition and found it a winner. From Thomas Jefferson to Bill Clinton, chief executives have carved innumerable notches into the bedposts of the Executive Mansion. Even James Garfield, who boasted one of the shortest presidential terms, found time to philander. Now, we don't mean to imply that every president has had affairs or that those affairs only start once a man reaches the Oval Office. Franklin Roosevelt cheated on Eleanor long before he even contracted polio, and Dwight Eisenhower's affair began when Ike was still fighting World War II. The press was said to have known about such things, but kept them covered up through a "gentleman's agreement" -- an arrangement that stayed in place at least through George H.W. Bush's alleged affair (although Mr. Clinton was obviously not granted the same courtesy). Perhaps the greatest presidential philanderers were Warren Harding (who was rumored to have fathered an illegitimate daughter while president) and John Kennedy, who probably could have used a Univac to keep track of who he was sleeping with next. One of the women he was most rumored to have slept with (ex post facto, of course) was Marilyn Monroe. On May 19, 1962, in a gala celebration, she cooed "Happy Birthday" to JFK in a manner than indicated a more than casual acquaintance with him. Whether the current (or the next) president joins in this tradition, we can't say -- but given the personalities of Laura Bush, Michelle Obama, Bill Clinton, and Cindy McCain, we'd bet against it. Suggested Sites... High Infdelity - well, maybe it's not a thing of the past... Crime Library: The Death of Marilyn Monroe - some claim she was bumped off for knowing too much about JFK. Crime Library: The Mysterious Death of Warren Harding - we're not saying Florence Harding had anything to do it, but you never know. U.S. Presidents: Lists and Records - presidents aggregated by claims to fame and shame.

Directory categories: Presidential History, Romance, Extramarital Affairs, John F. Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe

Archived under: American History, Bill Clinton, Candidates, First Ladies, George Bush, Government, Hillary Clinton, Marilyn Monroe, Presidential Candidates, Presidents, Relationships, Romance, Rumors, Secrets, Sex and Sexuality

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