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"Thank You Very Much!" (For the Cookies)
By Dave Sikula
Fri, December 3, 2010, 12:01 am PST

Cookie Monster puppet
Quite possibly the biggest fan
of National Cookie Day
(Photo by Peter Taylor)
The next few days will take on a musical flavor. On Monday, jazz pianist Dave Brubeck turns 90, an event which will be celebrated with a new Clint Eastwood-produced documentary that will premiere on TCM. Brubeck (with saxophonist Paul Desmond) pioneered the cool West Coast jazz of the 1950s with such tunes as "Take Five" and "Blue Rondo à la Turk." He still tours regularly and his playing is as strong as ever. In 2009, he was awarded a Kennedy Center Honor, and this Sunday, the latest batch of those awards will be given to country singer Merle Haggard, Broadway composer Jerry Herman, choreographer Bill T. Jones, rock legend Paul McCartney, and the one and only Oprah Winfrey.

Someone who probably should have received a Kennedy Center Honor, but didn't, was lyricist Ira Gershwin, born December 6, 1896. Ira was the brother of composer George Gershwin, and together they wrote scores of classic tunes (a bare-bones list of which would include "I Got Rhythm" "The Man I Love," "They Can't Take That Away From Me," and "Someone to Watch Over Me") that have become enshrined in the Great American Songbook. The first lyricist to win a Pulitzer Prize (for 1931's "Of Thee I Sing"), he died in 1983.

Friday will mark the 42nd anniversary of Elvis Presley's "'68 Comeback Special." "The King" had been domesticated by his Hollywood career, turning out one bland movie after another, but this TV special brought back the "dangerous" Elvis of the 1950s -- in black leather! -- and led to the Las Vegas appearances and concert tours that continued until his death.

Some historical events of note on Sunday. In 1848, President James K. Polk triggered the Gold Rush of '49 by confirming that gold had been discovered in California, and in 1945, the so-called "Lost Squadron" disappeared when five U.S. Navy Avenger bombers carrying 14 flyers began a training mission from the Ft. Lauderdale Naval Air Station, from which they never returned. Perhaps they were swallowed by the Bermuda Triangle, or perhaps they were just practicing their stealthy ninja training. Given that Sunday is also the Day of the Ninja, we think that one explanation is as likely as the other.

Saturday will bring some birthdays in the world of entertainment. Not only will it be the 49th birthdays of actresses Daryl Hannah and Julianne Moore, it will also be the 80th birthday of legendary French filmmaker Jean-Luc Godard. Godard was at the center of the French "New Wave" that took cinema by storm in the 1950s. Its gritty, in-your-face techniques have influenced directors as diverse as Quentin Tarantino, Martin Scorsese, Robert Altman, Steven Soderbergh, Brian De Palma, and Oliver Stone. Like Brubeck, Godard is still working. His latest movie, "Film Socialisme" was released in France in May, and another film (about the Holocaust) is rumored to be on the way.

A filmmaker who couldn't have been more different from Godard was Walt Disney, whose 109th birthday falls on Sunday. Given the distance between Godard's Marxism and Disney's conservatism, one can only wonder what the two of them thought of each other. Perhaps the brainiacs at the Encyclopedia Britannica could tell us, since Sunday is also the 242nd anniversary of the first publication of that know-it-all compendium.

Four holidays to finish out the old week and begin the new. Friday is the International Day of Persons with Disabilities, this year dedicated to "mainstreaming disability in the Millennium."

Sunday is International Volunteer Day, which recognizes volunteers for their efforts and increases public awareness of their contribution to society.

Monday begins Handwashing Awareness Week, something that's always a good idea, (especially after using the bathroom). Handwashing helps prevent the spread of disease, and if you're celebrating National Cookie Day Saturday, you won't get dirt all over your delicious cookies.

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Ladies' Day
By Dave Sikula
Wed, December 1, 2010, 12:01 am PST

Rosa Parks' booking photo
Rosa Parks. They wouldn't even
let her sit while booking her.
Yesterday, we called attention to three historical wits (Swift, Twain, and Wilde), and today is the turn of more contemporary comics. Wednesday is the 75th birthday of filmmaker Woody Allen, and would have been the 70th birthday of comedian Richard Pryor. Allen is the Academy Award-winning director of such movies as "Annie Hall," "Bullets Over Broadway," "Radio Days," and "Hannah and Her Sisters." He'a been nominated for 16 Oscars (winning three), and has directed actors (Penelope Cruz, Michael Caine, Diane Keaton, Mira Sorvino, and Dianne Wiest – twice) to six. Pryor was the pioneering stand-up whose earthy and vulgar routines brought new life to live comedy in the 70s. He was loved and emulated by his peers (Jerry Seinfeld called him "The Picasso of our profession," and Bob Newhart described him as "the seminal comedian of the last 50 years"). As loved as he was by comedians and audiences, Hollywood didn't seem to know what to do with him, and, with only a few exceptions, his films were not always good. Plagued by addictions during his later life, he succumbed to multiple sclerosis at the age of 65.

Pryor and Allen aren't the only ones celebrating birthdays today. In 1891, James Naismith was trying to control a group of rowdy kids who were stuck indoors at the YMCA in Springfield, Massachusetts. Naismith nailed a couple of peach baskets to the walls, and invented "basket ball," thus giving birth to the hoops we know today. The game has changed slightly in the ensuing century, and will see a notable event Thursday when LeBron James makes his return to Cleveland, as the Heat take on the Cavs. We expect chaos to ensue, which is an odd way to begin National Stress-Free Family Holiday Month. Perhaps a round of Bingo would help everyone get along. Conveniently, December is "Bingo's Birthday Month," which aims to call attention one of America's other favorite pastimes.

If even more stress reduction is needed, fans can concentrate on soccer, as there are few diversions that are more sleep-inducing. Fortunately, FIFA will be on hand to remind us of the "beautiful game," as they'll be announcing on Thursday the unfortunate cities chosen to host the 2018 and 2022 World Cups.

We were surprised to see that France isn't in the running to host either of those competitions, but the French will be busy Thursday commemorating both Napoleon Bonaparte's 1804 self-coronation as Emperor of France, and the anniversary of the death of the Marquis de Sade, the aristocratic writer who lived a, shall we say, interesting lifestyle, that 200 years later, is still too hot for prime time - and for The Spark.

Let's move on to something a little more wholesome - holiday shopping, for example. And what would the holidays be without toys and ties? December is both Safe Toys and Gifts Month and National Tie Month. While we all want kids to be healthy and safe, we kind of long for the days of our youth when toys were made of metal with sharp edges, or loaded with cannonballs. Oh, well, better to stick with a nice cravat for Dad. It's dull, but won't put his eye out.

We tip our hats to three notable women over the next couple of days. Thursday would have been the birthday of the ultimate opera diva Maria Callas. Callas was born in New York in 1923 and by her 30s, had become one of the biggest names in opera history. Unfortunately, her singing and acting style - not to mention her fiery temperament and life off-stage - made her highly controversial.

On December 1, 1952, the New York Daily News reported that former Army GI George Jorgensen had returned from Denmark as Christine Jorgenson, becoming the first person to undergo a widely-publicized sexual reassignment surgery. Jorgensen spent the remaining 37 years of her life lecturing and performing as a cabaret singer, delivering such tongue-in-cheek numbers as "I Enjoy Being a Girl."

Three years later, African-American civil rights worker Rosa Parks was arrested in Montgomery, Alabama, for refusing to give her seat to a white passenger. Her arrest sparked a boycott of the entire Montgomery bus system that ended only when a Supreme Court order ruled that Montgomery's segregated bus system unconstitutional.

A iconic fictional woman made her debut on December 2, 1947, when Tennessee Williams' masterpiece, "A Streetcar Named Desire" opened on Broadway. While Marlon Brando's brutish Stanley Kowalski got a lot of attention, the play actually focuses on the travails of the DuBois sisters, Stella and Blanche. Blanche DuBois came to represent the epitome of the cracked Southern belle, whose genteel ways cwere no match for the modern world. The role spans a wide emotional range, and has always been catnip for actresses wanting to test their mettle, including Jessica Tandy (the original), Vivien Leigh, Jessica Lange, Ann-Margret, Rachel Weisz, and Cate Blanchett.

In what may - or may not - be a notable event for women, we note in passing that December 1, 1953, saw the publication of the first issue of "Playboy" magazine.

At sundown on Wednesday, Hanukkah begins. This eight day celebration commemorates the rededication of Jerusalem's Second Temple in the 2nd century BCE.

Lastly, we note that December 1 is both World AIDS Day and the Day (With)Out Art. The former is dedicated to raising awareness of AIDS and HIV, while the latter is devoted to the artists who were lost to AIDS and the works of art they never produced.

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We'll Always Have "Casablanca"
By Dave Sikula
Fri, November 26, 2010, 12:01 am PST

Humphey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman in
"Here's looking at you, kid."
On this weekend dedicated to two favorite American pastimes - shopping and food - we ask you to take a moment to think of Sylvan N. Goldman, as Saturday will mark the 26th anniversary of his death. Mr. Goldman was a major stockholder of the Piggly-Wiggly supermarket chain and invented the shopping cart. For various reasons, his customers didn't want to use the carts, so his solution was to hire fake shoppers to wheel them around the stores to show others how useful they could be. Obviously, it worked.

The excitement of Thanksgiving has now passed, and while history tells us that Yahoo! will see search spikes today on both food poisoning and the location of your nearest pizza parlor, many of us will concentrate on the primary events of this season: shopping and not shopping. As consumers head to the disorienting wonderland that is the mall (and we note that Friday is the 145th anniversary of the publication of Lewis Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"), both of these pastimes will make big headlines in the media.

For those who are pro-shopping, today is "Black Friday," the day of the year that sees the highest number of sales transactions. Let it be noted, however, that the day the most money changes hands is the Saturday before Christmas (though with Christmas falling on a Saturday this year, it’s anyone’s guess what the biggest day that will actually be). Monday is, of course, "Cyber Monday," when workers will waste a good portion of the day shopping online, rather than doing actual work (like writing The Spark).

On the other hand, Friday is also "Buy Nothing" Day, which reminds us all to not feed the corporate beast that drives this holiday frenzy and to concentrate on either the message of the season or home-made gifts. Consider a cake (since it's also National Cake Day), or even donuts to commemorate the 2002 passing of Verne H. Winchell, who founded the Winchell's Donuts chain in 1948, and was known as "The Donut King." Whatever you eat, be sure to brush afterwards - and celebrate Friday's National Flossing Day.

Someone who’s probably doing all he can to ignore this weekend is Eldrick "Tiger" Woods, since Saturday marks the one-year anniversary of the car crash that sent his whole word spiraling. Perhaps he can use the occasion to get his aura read and see his future. Fortunately for him, Sunday is International Aura Awareness Day. Failing that, he may want to head to New York for the first preview of "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark." The musical, with a score by Bono and The Edge, has been plagued by budget problems (its estimated cost is $65 million, nearly four times the usual for a big Broadway show) and severe injuries to cast members. "Break a leg!" might not be the best thing to wish this particular cast, but their misfortunes so far might make Tiger feel better.

A number of birthdays fall on this weekend. Saturday sees what would have been the 88th birthday of cartoonist and "Peanuts" creator Charles M. Schulz (who died in 2000 the night before his final strip ran), as well as the 67th "birthday" of the Slinky. The flexible toy was invented by engineer Richard James in 1943, and its initial lot of 400 units sold out in a mere 90 minutes. Despite its limited uses (just how many staircases can it walk down?), the Slinky has remained a perennial toyland favorite.

Saturday would have been the 70th birthday of martial arts superstar Bruce Lee. It's also the 100th anniversary of New York's Pennsylvania Station. Penn Station was a grand and imposing structure that welcomed millions of visitors and immigrants to Manhattan in the days when train travel was king. In 1963, despite a vigorous campaign to save it, the station was torn down to make room for the fourth Madison Square Garden, a mistake many in the city have rued in the decades since.

Monday sees the birthday of movie choreographer supreme Busby Berkeley (1895), and Sunday brings us a trifecta of masters of their craft: "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart turns 48; Randy Newman, the Academy Award-winning composer (and writer of the greatest song ever written about Los Angeles), turns 67 (he's as old as the Slinky!); and Paul Shaffer, David Letterman's longtime bandleader, who's personally played with pretty much every major rock performer of the century, and whose group is the house band for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony turns 61.

For us, though, the most significant anniversary of the weekend is the November 26, 1942 opening of "Casablanca" at New York's Hollywood Theatre. Still considered one of the greatest films ever made, "Casablanca's" mixture of heroism, humor, and self-sacrifice, combined with indelible characters and lines has never been equaled in the many years since. They truly don't make 'em like that anymore.

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It's a Scandal! It's a Outrage!
By Dave Sikula
Fri, November 5, 2010, 12:01 am PDT

Close-up of a Monopoly board
I'll trade you two railroads
and the waterworks for
Ventor Ave. and Oriental
(Photo by Andrea Allen)
Friday:

We note the death of three show business giants today. First is George M. Cohan, who died in 1942. Cohan was the first Broadway star of the modern age, a quadruple-threat who acted, wrote, composed, and produced scores of plays and musicals. Unlike the energetically over-the-top Oscar-winning portrayal of him by James Cagney in "Yankee Doodle Dandy," Cohan's actual on-stage style was simple, warm, and intimate, contrasting sharply with the bombast of most other performers of the time.

In 1956, pianist Art Tatum died at the age of 47. Despite his near-blindness, Tatum was certainly the greatest jazz pianist who ever lived, if not the greatest musician, period. His dazzling runs and breathtaking virtuosity have never been equaled. Vladimir Horowitz, no mean piano player himself, was in awe upon hearing Tatum's unrivaled technique and improvisational skills, saying that if Tatum ever took up classical music, he'd quit the next day.

This day in 1960 saw the passing of Mack Sennett. In the 1910s and '20s, Sennett's film comedies were unsurpassed. He had a flawless eye for talent, discovering (among others) Harold Lloyd, Gloria Swanson, Roscoe Arbuckle, Marie Dressler, Mabel Normand, Ben Turpin, and Harry Langdon. Unfortunately, Sennett's vision did not include business acumen, and his career began a slow decline with the coming of sound in the late 1920s. He mostly retired in the mid-'30s, but spent the final quarter-century of his life making occasional cameos in other people's comedies and announcing projects that never quite got off the ground. His Keystone comedies remain the gold standard for early silent comedy.

Sennett retired in 1935, but we don't know if he ever played Monopoly, the board game that was introduced by Parker Brothers on this day in that year.

All this talk of movies has made us wonder just what’s opening today, and it’s actually a fair bunch of films (none of which are summer blockbusters, indicating it's probably the start of awards season). For example, there’s "Fair Game," starring Naomi Watts as exposed CIA agent Valerie Plame and Sean Penn as her husband Joseph Wilson; "For Colored Girls," directed by the ubiquitous Tyler Perry, and starring Janet Jackson; "Megamind," an animated superhero comedy starring the voices of Will Ferrell, Brad Pitt, and Tina Fey; "127 Hours," with James Franco as hiker Aron Ralston, who was forced to amputate his own arm when it became trapped under a boulder; and "Client 9," a documentary about former New York governor Eliot Spitzer.

If motion pictures don't appeal to you, you might travel to England, to celebrate Guy Fawkes Night, which commemorates the 16th century plot to blow up the Houses of Parliament by burning scarecrow effigies of the "Gunpowder Plot's" alleged ringleader.

Saturday and Sunday:

Saturdays in the fall are college football day, and this is the anniversary of the day in 1869 when Princeton University (then known as the College of New Jersey) traveled to Rutgers College to play the first intercollegiate football game. (Rutgers won, 6-4.)

What more appropriate way to celebrate that anniversary than by watching a modern college football game? Perhaps you could make it better by watching that game in Forest Grove, Oregon (fifteen miles west of Portland) and indulging in the Verboort Sausage and Kraut Dinner. And then throw in some delicious nachos as a part of National Nachos Day. With all the resulting wind you'll be producing, you could pick up your saxophone and blow a tune; after all it is the 196th birthday of Antoine-Joseph (Adolphe) Sax, the inventor of both the saxophone and saxotromba, and hence, Saxophone Day.

Two more birthdays of note today. Thomas Ince (1882), who in a brief 14-year career, wrote, directed, produced, or acted in nearly 200 movies, and provided the fodder for one of Hollywood's first big scandals when he met his death on board the yacht of newspaper magnate William Randolph Hearst. While the official story was that Ince died of heart trouble (at the age of 42), rumors have persisted that Hearst shot and killed Ince over the latter’s undue interest in Hearst’s mistress, Marion Davies. (This incident supposedly led to the long career of gossip columnist Louella Parsons, who was a witness to the alleged crime and given a lifetime contract to shut her up.)

In 1892, Harold Ross was born in Aspen, Colorado. After working in his teen years on various newspapers and serving as an editor on the Army’s paper "Stars and Stripes" during World War I, he settled in New York, founding and editing "The New Yorker" in 1925. For the last 85 years, it's been the gold standard of American magazines, hailed for its in-depth reportage, fiction, and cartoons.

Had Ross been near a television (still a relatively new invention) on his 55th birthday in 1947, he could have watched the inaugural broadcast of "Meet the Press," which began its reign as the longest-running television show in the world that day. After 63 years, the show can still make news, unlike Sunday's big event, the end of daylight saving time.

In spite of the fact that daylight saving ends every year, for reasons we'll never be able to figure, our evening commute home is always plagued with bumper-to-bumper traffic as people apparently forget how to drive in the dark. Since we expect traffic to be bad, we'd better take off now.

See you next time!

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World's Largest Drag Queen Goes Over Falls with Pumpkin Pie
By Dave Sikula
Mon, October 18, 2010, 12:01 am PDT

Matisse's
Upside down? Right-side up?
Beats the hell out of us
It's quiet this week. As we look over our files, we see little of consequence. We assume folks are still getting into an autumnal mood, but we persevere and submit herewith our own events and commemorations of the week.

Monday:

We begin the week by noting it's a big one for Thomas Edison. On this date in 1878, his company made electricity available for household usage. In 1931, on this day, he died, and Thursday marks the 131st anniversary of the demonstration of his first light bulb at his laboratory in Menlo Park, New Jersey, now known as "Edison."

It's a notable week for other inventions, too. For example, in 1954, Texas Instruments introduced the transistor radio. Up until the '50s, radios were big bulky things, full of vacuum tubes and wires. With the invention of the transistor in 1947, it was suddenly possible to make radios, televisions, and pretty much anything electronic small and portable. The transistor radio came along just in time for post-war teenagers to carry rock and roll music anywhere, driving their parents and other adults crazy. And Friday will mark the anniversary of the creation of the first Xerox image in 1938. Before then, people actually had to write or type things on a sheet of paper to duplicate them. Now, plagiarism is only the push of a button away.

Speaking of "crazy," "The Talk" debuts on CBS today, featuring Sara Gilbert, Sharon Osbourne, Leah Remini, Julie Chen, Holly Robinson Peete, and Marissa Jaret Winokur in a show that's absolutely nothing like "The View." (We mention that it's also World Menopause Day - completely in passing ...)

While we've mentioned science, let's not forget art. In 1896, the world's first comic strip, "The Yellow Kid," debuted. It wasn't so much a "strip" as a daily cartoon featuring something outlandish in society that the otherwise-mute Kid would comment on with writing on his nighshirt. What he would have had to say about Henri Matisse's "Le Bateau," we can only imagine. It went on display at New York's Museum of Modern Art on this day in 1961 - and it wasn’t until 116, 000 viewers and 47 days had passed that someone noticed that the painting had been hanging upside down.

We finish by noting it's Alaska Day, commemorating the transfer of Alaska from Russia to the United States in 1867. (No jokes about seeing Russia from your house, please ...)

Tuesday:

Only two events of note today. One is the 1745 death of Jonathan Swift, the cleric, novelist, and satirist who gave us "Gulliver's Travels" (whence originated our corporate name) and "A Modest Proposal." One is tempted to hope he was eaten by cannibals, but, alas, he met his end via a stroke.

In 1945, Harris Glen Milstead was born in Baltimore. Glenn led an ordinary life until he met aspiring filmmaker John Waters, who cast him as "The Smoking Nun" in his film "Roman Candles," renaming him "Divine," the name he used the rest of his life. Divine was described by "People" magazine as the "Drag Queen of the Century" (though was there that much competition?) and spent the rest of his career going from one outlandish role to another in Waters' films before his untimely death at the age of 42.

Wednesday:

We have three seasonal events today that are absolutely appropriately for this time of year. In 1967, Roger Patterson and Robert Gimlin, took out their home-movie camera, photographed a guy in a gorilla suit, and claimed they’d filmed a Bigfoot. The veracity of the footage has been the subject of debate ever since, though we're prepared to say it's a fake.

In the otherwise-sleepy hamlet of Circleville, Ohio, the annual Circleville Pumpkin Show will begin its four-day run today. Since 1903, the festival has presented thousands of these flavorful squashes to an adoring public who come for the sculpting, bands, and beauty contests, but who stay for the World’s Largest Pumpkin Pie, baked fresh every year by Lindsey’s Bake Shop.

In 1882, Bela Blasko was born in Lugos, Romania. At 12, the stage-struck Bela dropped out of school, became an actor, and changed his last name to Lugosi. As Bela Lugosi, he was a matinee idol in his own country, before coming to America in 1921. He worked as a laborer and occasional actor until 1927, when his continental good looks and accent made him a natural for the title role in the Broadway production of “Dracula." While the play was a smash hit, and led to a Hollywood contract, his accent baffled casting directors, who could see him only as a romantic vampire, and he was soon type-cast in horror films. Despite some occasional “straight” roles (most notably in 1938’s "Ninotchka," his career quickly headed to not-very-good parts in B-pictures, usually parodying his image. He always gave his utmost, even when the material was sub-par, as in his final films with Ed Wood, Hollywood’s worst director. He died of a heart attack in 1956.

Thursday:

More unrelated (but still interesting) events for the day:

In 1849, the first tattooed man to be put on public exhibit, James F. O’Connel, was put on display at the Franklin Theatre in New York City. Not sure what more can be added to that.

Except perhaps noting that today is Reptile Awareness Day, so we encourage you to go out and be aware of some reptiles -- perhaps while enjoying a big plate of nachos, since it’s also the International Day of the Nacho.

Friday:

When we compile these lists, we’re overwhelmed with celebrations of "National This Day" and "International That Week," so imagine our surprise and disappointment when we discovered that one of our sources lists October 22 with this note: “There are no holiday events on record for this day,” Is it possible that only one day out of 365 is bereft of some kind of celebration? It may be true, though (alas!), as the only other events of note we could find are the 107th birthday of Stooge Jerome "Curly" Howard, and the fact that it’s International Stuttering Awareness Day.

Curly is probably the most popular of all the Stooges, combining a unique physical and vocal style into a characterization that was breathtakingly bold in the 1930s and has been a boon to adolescent boys (of all ages) in the decades since.

Saturday:

Looking for something fun to do today? We have three suggestions.

1) Celebrate the 80th anniversary of the world’s first miniature golf tournament in Chattanooga, Tennessee. The tournament was won by J.K. Scott, though the record neglects to state whether he was better shooting through the windmill or the castle.

2) If you’re near Oklahoma City, you might join the Ghouls Gone Wild celebration headlined by The Flaming Lips and participate in their annual March of 1000 Flaming Skeletons. Be warned, though, you’ve got to handle a live torch - and those costumes can be flammable.

3) You can celebrate Mole Day. The “Mole” is a method of counting the Avogadro number - 6.02 x 10 to the 23rd power of anything. Amodeo Avogadro discovered that the number of molecules in a mole is the same for all substances, which allows chemists are able to precisely measure quantities of chemicals in the lab. Mole Day is intended to help everyone become enthusiastic about chemistry. If you understood a word of that, the first two events may be too strenuous for you, so our advice is to stick with the chemistry.

Sunday:

To finish off the week, we’ll note the near-irony of it being the Feast of Good & Plenty, because yes, we had a number of good events this week, but not plenty of them.

It’s also World Origami Day, which somehow runs through November 11 (must be that those origami artists are able to fold time and space, as well as paper).

Speaking of folding, we also have to mention that, on this day in 1901, Annie Edson Taylor became the first person to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel. How she didn’t end up folded herself is one of the miracles of the age - especially considering she did it to celebrate her 63rd birthday. She’d sent her cat over the falls in her specially-padded barrel the day before, and when the feline emerged unscathed, she figured it was safe enough for her. Mrs. Taylor suffered a cut on her head, but was otherwise unharmed, though she did tell the press, "If it was with my dying breath, I would caution anyone against attempting the feat. I would sooner walk up to the mouth of a cannon, knowing it was going to blow me to pieces than make another trip over the Falls."

If all the above sounds like a lot of baloney, we merely note the appropriateness of today being National Bologna Day, and leave you make up your own mind.

See you next time!

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