These Things Drive Us CRAZY! (Photo by Chelsea Durham) When George Orwell wrote "Nineteen Eighty-Four," he could never have imagined The Spark. In his classic novel, Orwell proposed that every April the citizens of Oceania were whipped into a frenzy of hate against some imaginary foe, for no reason other than to keep them distracted from what was really happening. (Sounds like some current political commentators, but we digress ...) In the past we've mentioned our loathing of cell phones, banished words, NASCAR, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, bad movies, telemarketers, Tim McCarver, Hannah Montana, High School Musical, Keanu Reeves, and "Batman" the TV show, but there's always new stuff to denigrate. When we got to thinking about it, we realized that celebrating hate sounded like a darn fine idea -- oh, not the harmful kind that actually hurts people, but rather, as an outlet for those things that either drive us crazy or that we just can't stand. So, herewith, the Spark's "We Hate It" list: Liz: I hate it when I rent or borrow a movie on DVD and it stops in the middle. Then when I look at the disc, it appears that someone has used it as a hockey puck or a butter dish -- or both. Can we learn to hold these things by the edges, people? Robert: I have a strong dislike for tofu ice cream bars. They look like ice cream, they feel like ice cream when you roll them around in your mouth, but you wait -- and that rich, sweet taste never comes. Instead, you're left with thoughts of what could have been and the faint aftertaste of bean curd. I'm sure there are vegan tofu ice cream enthusiasts that love these things, but I personally shudder when I think about them. Suzi: Drivers who use their brights on the highway, regardless of oncoming traffic. Helene: I hate falling asleep without having caught that spider hanging on the ceiling. Apparently, we eat three spiders per year while sleeping. Heather: I have a love/hate relationship with the movie industry. There's something particularly annoying about getting all pumped up over a stellar movie trailer, only to walk out of a theater $8.00 poorer with a sour taste in your mouth and a queasy feeling in your gut. Netflix, anyone? Mike: I hate road hogs who think letting a car change lanes in front of them is like an insult or something. Sarah: The "Twilight" movie posters. Yellow eyes aren't sexy; they're a sign of jaundice! Jessica: I hate people who are walking and talking on Bluetooth. I even hate myself when I'm walking and talking on Bluetooth. Richard: There's only one thing in this world that I truly hate to my very core: Cilantro, the devil's herb. It's true. Suggested Sites... Wikipedia: Hate Week - start your own celebration. How To Repair Damaged CDs or DVDs - help is on the way! Tofu Chocolate Ice Cream Recipe - can you call it ice cream if there's no milk? Bad Driver Blog - you're not alone. Idiots are everywhere. Ban Cilantro.org - dedicated to the destruction of the evil weed.

Directory categories: George Orwell, 1984, Tofu, Bad Drivers, Traffic and Road Conditions

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