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Here at the Spark, we try to keep level heads about what we consider to be our raison d'etre -- keeping you abreast of what's happening in the world and on the web. But today is special: We've been admitted to that rarefied club of conspirators who secretly keep the world running!
This secret fraternity got its start back on May 1, 1776, when a group of intellectuals formed the Illuminati as a "freethinking" society, but the group soon merged with the Freemasons and a cabal of international bankers to rule the world. In the centuries since, this group has ruled wisely and well, managing to hide from the public the Truth about alien visitation, cheap and plentiful energy, cars that run on water, political assassinations, teleportation, mass transit, and breakthrough drugs, while filling the media with such made-up stories as the Apollo 11 moon landing and the Da Vinci Code. Over the years, the cabal has been joined by such like-thinkers as the members of the Trilateral Commission, Yale's Skull and Bones, and the Bohemian Grove -- all of whom work toward making life simpler and less complicated.
We can't tell you how proud we are to become part of this age-old tradition of misinformation and cover-up; it's truly a dream come true for us. So, in the future, please remember that everything we tell you is absolutely true and presented for your own well-being. Our motto? We never lie and we're always right.
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Directory categories:
The IIlluminati, Conspiracies, Robert Anton Wilson, Bohemian Grove, Skull and Bones |
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Archived under: Conspiracies, Cover Ups, Freemasons, Hoaxes, Illuminati, Scandals, Secret Societies, Society and Culture, Weird Stuff |
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Comments
Does this mean you get discounts now at Starbucks?
Posted by: selftext at May 01, 2008 9:50 AM
Everything IS a conspiracy.
Posted by: jdwelch at May 01, 2008 10:13 AM
let's not forget that the illuminati's trademark eye in the pyramid symbol is also featured prominently on the american dollar bill, just above the words NOVUS ORDO SECLORUM, which means, "a new order has begun."
Posted by: post.chris at May 01, 2008 12:19 PM
So George Tirebiter was a Freemason? I KNEW IT!
Posted by: pidgemeade at May 03, 2008 11:16 PM
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