Sure, they look cute now, but they'll be embarrassed about it once they grow up (Photo by USACE Europe District) When I first heard that Quincy Jones was going to re-record the 1985 song "We Are The World" and donate proceeds to Haitian relief, I had a flashback to the '80s. It was slightly scary, but not for the usual reasons. Although the original Live Aid song, recorded for USA for Africa, is memorable for its catchy tune and stellar group of performers, what it reminds me of is having to sing it at a sixth-grade assembly. For many of the kids and teachers, it was quite a production; they even held auditions for solo parts. The cheese factor was very high, but I'm sure the show managed to leave many parents teary-eyed. This got me wondering what my fellow Yahoo!s had to perform in their schooldays at the behest of well-intentioned adults, and whether there might be any incriminating photos or video hanging around. Here's what they remember: Sarah: My school did an "American Music Retrospective" that was framed as an episode of "American Bandstand" (this was 1996, so no "TRL" yet). We sang everything from "Rock Around the Clock" to "California Dreaming" to "Flashdance… What a Feeling" (how the latter counts as great music is beyond me). The scariest part was when one of the teachers came out dressed like John Travolta and did the "Stayin' Alive" dance. I'm still trying to wipe that vision from my memory. Sebastian: Reciting Portia's "The quality of mercy is not strain'd" speech from "The Merchant of Venice" in the seventh grade in front of the whole class, after a large bout of insomnia. Everyone had to do it. Plus, it was a girl's speech! Embarrassing! (P.S. for Shakespeare nerds: the speech falleth like sack of hammers thereupon, thus interrupting the flow of the play. Critics, scholars and other bores are still scratching their heads as to what purpose Shakespeare saw inserting a long, morality-soaked speech in the middle of continuous action.) Mike: I think my only on-stage performance was as a dancing clown in our horrible fifth-grade version of "The Nutcracker." It was pretty friggin' embarrassing. [Editor's note: the video is not of Mike but we sure wish it was!] Mitzi: Our fifth-grade class had to put on a performance of "The Nutcracker Suite." Self-conscious boys and girls in leotards and tutus -- oh, the humanity! Dave: It must have been sometime in the mid '60s. We were doing a Christmas pageant  (not a holiday pageant -- that's how long ago it was), and I was in a skit called "Christmas on Holiday Island," or some such. I was one of a group of illiterate savages to whom Christmas would be explained. Sometime in the middle of the skit, there was a huge, sudden burst of laughter. I looked around to see what had happened (even at that tender age, I knew the writing was terrible), and noticed that my crepe paper loincloth had pooled around my ankles. Fortunately, I'd had the sense (and modesty) to be wearing Bermuda shorts under the loincloth, but it didn't help my embarrassment at not only making a spectacle of myself, but of ruining the skit (an admittedly low bar to clear). I pulled up the loincloth and finished, leaving to a nice round of applause. Michelle: My first thought was the embarrassment of playing "Eye of the Tiger" in band class (so, out of tune, at about ¾ the correct speed), but I've come around on that and now think it's pretty hilarious. More embarrassing was an act that I wasn't roped into, but chose to do: a costumed lip-synch performance of "Rock Me Amadeus" in front of my entire class (or was it the whole school?) at a talent show. I'm sure it was a sight to behold, but thankfully no one got it on video. More accounts of childhood command performances tomorrow. Don't worry -- they aren't all horror stories! Suggested Sites... We Are The World Class of 2010 - news video on omg! with a behind-the-scenes look at the remake. USA For Africa - We Are the World @ 25 - info about the 25th anniversary of the original recording. Live Aid: A Look Back At A Concert That Actually Changed The World - MTV revisits the 1985 concert. Shakespeare for Elementary Students - PBS details the delicate art of getting kids to enjoy Shakespeare. The Nutcracker - Kaboose.com - familiarize your kids with classic stories early and they'll beg to dress up in funny costumes and dance!

Directory categories: Live Aid Concert, Haiti Earthquake Relief, Quincy Jones, Christmas Plays and Skits, Music Instruction for Children

Archived under: Actors, Africa, Arts, Ballet, Charity, Children, Entertainment, Kids, Music, Pageants, Performing Arts, Rock and Roll, School, The Nutcracker, William Shakespeare

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